Sum Advice (2)

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: MIST IT
• Tesco: no- an mummy sneakt out wivout me
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
• Day Score: 6/10
  

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I have reseeved a cuppol ov kwestions from someone called Wondering hoo livs in Maine. (WOW I wotched a film called "Der Hunt Fer Red Oktober" wunse. Dit woz all abowt a submareen an in der end dey hid it in Maine.)

Wondering wrote:

Dear Bob - Dilly is very sweet looking even if she is sitting
on your head. Is she a spy too? Thank you for telling us how to tell if our bears are spies. I have quite a few and one is definitely a spy. I also have a monkey that I think might be a spy if the ear thing works for them too. What do you think?

Wondering
in Maine

S/he is, ov corse, referrin to der hewmiliating photo I published on Saturday morning wiv my little sister parked on my hed.

No, Dilly is not a spy! In fact she duzzent eevn beleev I'M wun. Wenever der subjekt comes up in our house she looks at der seeling an maykes a farting noyse throo her snowt. She wunse sed dat dere wud be less hot air in in der room if der fart woz reel an I stopped my "talk bowt spys". Well as yu can imagin, sumwun so synical cud never be a spy. Besides, she duzzent hav eny ears. (See "how to tell if yor bear is a spy".)

As fer yor monkey, yes, he may well be a spy. Der ears rool duz apply to Not-A-Bears. But yu must bear in mind (BEAR in mind! Hehehe!) dat Not-A-Bears are not as onnist an reliabol as bears an so dey mite lie abowt their spy staytus. Yu need to look out fer other synes as well, like if yu go to find dem sum days an dey're not there. Or dey suddenly appeer wiv a tan in December, wich may hint at a speshol mishon abrord. Novice spys offen forget their sun-blok.

Enyway, Wondering, now dat yu hav reveeled to der werld entire (well, not parts of China, perhaps) dat yor monkey is a spy, be on speshol alert. Remember wot I sed abowt der lisense to kill if his mishon is uncoverd.