WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Friday, March 30, 2007

Biscuit Poets & Other Bears

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: yes
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
  • Day Score: 8/10

Sum time ago I reported the dredful news that McVities had stopped making the Dark Choklit Hobnob. Well yestaday I was munching my way through a new biskit, a Cadbury's attempt at sumthing oaty, an I fownd myself missing my old frend the Dark Hobnob. And then I thort, oh no! Wat if the Milk Choklit Hobnobs disappeared too? So I wrote this little ode to them:

Hobnob Haiku

Ah, Choklit Hobnob,

Where wud I be without you?

Slimmer, yes, but sad.

Oaty Biskits are a rare an wondruss thing. Most biskits are wheaty, an don't stand up to dunking half as well. I AM happy to report a new addishun to the UK oaty biskits choice: The Anzac. This is an Ostraylian Biskit just resently sold here. It's like a Hobnob but a bit mor syruppy. 10/10 fer effort, though, and so I wrote an ode to them as well:

Anzac Haiku

Hullo, my little

imported Biskit, welcome

to my tummy. Yum!

Let me know if yu hav a favrit biskit yu wud like an ode written to. Or perhaps yor Bear will write wun for yu. All Bears are very literate, yu know. Here is wun I met resently, catching up on sum bedtime reading. Insidently, he's called Bob, too!

yu can see mor ov this fine fello at this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/junglegeorge/sets/72157594516178886/

Bye fer now!


margaret said...

Ahh what a grand bear! He looks very well looked after, too.
How about one about Custard Creams, Bob?


Shrink wrapped scream said...

Well Bob, I find McVitties choclate digestives are fab, but only if first dunked in tea. Mmnn, you have to have tried it?

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Custard Creams? OK how's this-

Oh, humble Custard

Creams, when dunked you become filled

with hidden pleasures.


B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Ooo yes. Chocolate Digestives are best dunked. But only for 3 seconds, I find. Much more and they fall in. Then you're left with the do-I-fish-it-out-or-do-I-act-like-nothing-happened-and-slurp-it-at-the-end quandary.

Always a tense decision when you have furry hands and don't like baths.

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

O! Oo! I forgot the Digestives haiku-

Digestives are an

old favourite, and well worth

a damn good dunking.

Spaulding and Teddy said...

Our favoritestest biscuits our first-thing-in-the-morning-how-can-anyone-wake-up-without-it biscuits, biscotti, for our first two huge mugs of coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee in the morning! Here is our ...

Ode to Biscotti

Loverly Morning.
Biscotti with our coffee!
Crisp, soggy, delight.

Your Abearican Buddies,
Teddy and Spaulding
who are also up at 4 in the morning on April Fool's Day with Mommy.

PS Bob, your shoes are untied!

Did you look?! April Fools! (We're not too mature for April Fools! Kehehehehehe


Hey B. T......
Thanks for the visit, here's someone who's created the same sort of page. She's in France .... Tell her I sent ya.
Welcome to Plumoiemousie
I'll send you some bear files. I've got a few .....
Bear #339 :
Op-Ed video
Gif File

B.T.Bear Esq. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Teddy & Spaulding,
I've seen those Biscotti in jars. They look a bit dry but just the right shape for paws to get hold of an dunk. I might try to convince Mum to get sum.
Good Haiku.

And I looked, even tho I wassent wearing any shoes! (or enything else, akchewally ;@) )

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Hey Colorado Bob! Me an Mousie are old friends. But if I dident know her already. I wud like to, so thank yu for the link!!!

I liked the Bear video altho it is sad :@(
I left a comment arfter it on YouTube.

I'm werking on mor videos myself, akchewally, so watch this space.

(Well, not THIS space. Probly wun on the frunt page. D'oh.)

Margaret said...

Thank you for the custard Cream haiku, Bob.

Could you do me another one? I was thinking of Jaffa Cakes.


B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Jaffa Cake Haiku:

Oh Jaffa CAKE, don't

despair, though not a biscuit,

you're still quite tasty.


Matt said...

OK. I nominate the Bourbon.

B.T.Bear Esq. said...


Bourbons promise much,

but always taste slightly stale.

Never mind; they're posh.


Anonymous said...

Ok what about the OREO. Do you even get them over there? Bet you can't do it because nothing rythmes with that!

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Why hello there.

Haiku don't need to rhyme, my little incognito friend.

SO far, I've never tasted one. In fact, I've only seen them in pictures. So here goes:

Little Oreo,

I'd really like to eat you,

But I can't find you.

So there. Ha. Slip that one in yer pants an sniff it.



margaret said...

OK here we go-



Jamie said...

Keeping life simple
dipping shortbread in tea
soggy is delicious

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Oooo Jamie! That was exxxxcellent!

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

SORRY for the delay, Margaret! Right.
Here we go.


Tangy Lemon Puffs

don't dunk well, but they crumble

most addictively.

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Hob Nobs do make me coff.

Oreos are disappointing. Box tastes better than biskit.

Kit Kats are for grown ups, specially the dark ones, nice tho.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Lynda! Hobnobs mayke yu coff???? Goodness. This will never do. It must be the oaty bits flaykin off. Methinks yu need to dunk them. If yu alreddy do, dunk them a tad longer, an then ownly nibbol the damp bit.

Oreos, yes, I'd herd that. Tho Teddy an Spauldin swear by them. (But ownly dunkt in coffee. SO maybe they jus tayste ov coffee.)

As fer KitKats- ahhhhhhhh I like the minty wuns best. But heer is an argument almost as big as the Jaffa Cake: Biskit or Cayke? argument-
do Kitkats belong in the biskit aisle or wiv the sweets?
Biskits or Choklit?

Tis a flummox as cunnin as the chikn an egg wun.


Lynda (Granny K) said...

Bofe aisles i'd say! Biskit AND chocolate - so you don't miss 'em.

I need to improve my dunkin skills wiv hob nobs, I fink.

VP said...

Dark Chocolate Hob Nobs please!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


Poor little dark one,
not too sweet, always just right,
oh, how we miss you.

(I don't understand wy they stopt mayking them!!!)


VP said...

I love my Haiku - thank you so much :)

Jackson said...

Can I nominate a dog biscuit? I don't get to eat human ones. I eat James Wellbeloved's Crackerjacks. You might like them. J x

Wilma said...

Bob, my favourite biscuits are Boneo!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Oh gosh! I've only just found these! I shall hav to get rite on the cayse and do sum for doggy biskits!

Julie said...

I love Jammy Dodgers!