Heer is my new letter to Charmin. My mummy helpt wiv der Human-English spelling so I hope yu can reed it. She got der dayte wrong but I think der rest is OK:
Bye fer now!
I am a small brown bear .... navigator, tissue-issuer, steely eyed spy, football fan and Agony Uncle! Now that you've found me, sit back, relax, sip some tea and dunk a biscuit, and let some Bearissity into your tortured life. Ahhhh. See, better already, isn't it?