WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Bar-Stewards

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10!!!
  • Day Score: 7.398/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Dit rayned so hard yesterday dat mummy rang up Granny so she cud listen to it. (Well dere issent much eggsitement wher Granny livs.) For a moment dere I was a tad worreed dat der wud be thunda (don't lyke dat). (scary). (but dat duzzent mean I'm not brayv. Oh no. Bears DO brayve. An an an if yu were never frighted yu wud never need to BE brayv). But dit woz OK and enyway I kept my emergensy-hug-pants close by:

Bear book an pants.

me wiv my emergensy-hug-pants (der stripey wuns) as yu can see from my ears, dit woz a stressful time- ears moov out ov der 'wun forward wun bak' pozishon wen stresst (dat is a gud book I'm reading, by the way)

Did I menshon dat my daddy is a teacher? Well he is. He teaches 8 an 9 year old scary monsters wiv snotty nozes. Dis week der skool has got der "OFSTED bar-stewards" inspekting awl der teachers. I offered daddy my emergensy-hug-pants as he seemd as worreed about dis as I woz about der thunda. But he sed he better not cos den if dere is a storm during der day wot wud I do wivout dem? Ahhh heez kwyte thortful at times my daddy. Sept for wen he drops yu in der road in Ennystynen an yu get run over and burst yur beads. Not dat Iym bitter.

Enyway apparently deez "OFSTED bar-stewards" are sent in by der guvverment to chek dat der flor is cleen and dat dere are cullerd pikchers on der walls. Dats why awl der teachers hav been in tidying up in der eevnin. I'm not shor wot else day inspekt. But I don't understand der wisdom of sending in bar-stewards. Shorly sumwun stone-sober wud set a better exampol (or 'model better behayvyer', in OFSTED speak cos dey can't spell exampol).

Hey ho. Mummy's going to cook a speshol pie fer dinner wen daddy gets home. Lets hope she remembers der unyons*.

Bye fer now!!

*see larst Saturday, 1st Oktober

3 comments:

Cergie said...

Hello ! Bob ! Mousie told me you are her new friend !
You seems so cuuuute, I can understand her.
I'm surprised though, I'm believing you are so young !
I may understand that a year of live for a bear ist more important than for a mouse... Oh ! I've certainly made a bad reasoning !!!
See you later, Bobby !

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Thank yu cergie. However, I may be cuuuute, but I am also a feroshus bear. All bears do feroshus. So if yu ever com across wun wiv a sor hed, yu can always try offering him sum choklit peanuts. He may still bite yu but he won't be so hungry.
Bob T Bear Esq.

Mousie said...

my dear little sweet Bob, tell your daddy I do understand he was worried...that put me back years ago ...Retirement is beautiful...Mummy must be a very good cook, smells so yummy here...
by the way do bear retire? at what age?
see you, good night
Mousie