Weekend Report
Weekend's scores:
HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!
We awl went to my Gran's house on Saterday, an I went to see my futbol team, GILLINGHAM, win. Wahaayyy!!! We beat Rotheram (full name RotherScum-Cheats-Utd) by 1 goal to nil. Wen we got the goal I cheered an did a darnse all along the backs of the seats where I met another Bear Fan, who accomapnied me in the conga back to my seat. Hurray!
It was nearly a gud weekend all round but then wun ov granny's cats, Mr Scooter, hissed wen Mummy stroked his tail. We think he's hurt it. So he will hav to go to the V-E-T (mustn't say that word in front of him. It makes him hide behind cupboards) this week. So now Mummy is worried, an not all smiley like she had been.
We gave Mr Scooter sum chicken from the dinner to cheer him up, an help him forget about his bum-end. He seemed to like it! I hope I get mor than that if my bum-end ever hurts that bad!
Mr Scooter, wiv a sore bum-end, getting a sympathy treat.
Bye fer now!
2 comments:
Dear Bob,
You would think that our Mommy wouldn't ever want to mention this, but here she is, asking us to tell you what happened to Bo, their old cat, who died from old age, right before we were born.
Our Mommy and Daddy left Bozer behind (no pun there), when they went on vacation, and, once, when they came back after dark, and were unpacking -- did we mention Bo was a black cat, too? - they didn't see Bo sneakeded out when they brought in their last boxes. (Remember, we would never do such a thing -- this is strictly Mommy's story, that she is weird enough to want to tell...and, and, she thinks this will give you comfort! Argh!)
Well, they shut the door, and relaxed for a while, before noticing that Bo wasn't there to punish them for leaving him behind for a week. (They had the neighbor feed him, but he still hated it, so would sit down on the carpet in-between them with his back towards them, so they would KNOW he was ignoring them.) Mommy wandered out to the kitchen, where the back door was, and saw about an inch of Bo's tail sticking out of the tightly closed door. Fightened that he should be screaming in pain, she quickly opened the door, only to find no Bozer there -- just the tip of his tail! (She says it looked like a big wolly caterpillar. Ew!) One of them had shut the door, so hard on his tail, they cut it off with the door! Bo never made a sound.
When he came home, after his trip around his territory, he had long stringy sinew sticking off the end of his tail, where the tail came off. He didn't like Mommy or Daddy touching it, (like they would want to...again, Ew!) but, gradually, he got that thing off, too. (See? You would think she'd want to keep this secret!?) At first, he couldn't make the last inch of his tail flick around, like cats like to do with their tails, but it didn't take him long to readjust to his slightly shorten tail, and go back to wiggling just the end around.
Now, strangely, Mommy wants you to know that cats are very ree-sill-ant creatures from this story, but, we're more practical. This story just tells us that we need to really watch our bums around Mommy and Daddy, and warn any cats to watch their tails around them!
Now, that we told you what Mommy wanted us to tell you -- we are just writing to tell you that we 'splained more about Thanksgiving to you last Thursday, after we told what we did. Hope it helps.
YYYEEEUCK!
That's even werse than Daddy getting me run over in Ireland, wen my bum burst!!!
I'll tell Mummy though in case it will make her stop worrying.
Mr Scooter did go to the V-E-T yesterday, an he thinks it might be his back. He needs an Xray.
Granny is dredding this as it will mean Mr Scooter issent allowed to eat the night before, and Mr Scooter is wun big Hairy Pig wen it comes to his dinner....
Bob
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