WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Is it Crismoss or issent it?

Yesterday's scores:

  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: LBBBJ climbed up my bak an tryd to get me over the top ov my hed, but he wassent kwik enuff an I got him ferst, then did a bak-flip an appeerd behind him befor he eevn got down, got him agen befor he notist, an so invoke the 250% rool: 25/10
  • Day Score:7.9364/10
HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I got into such a grayte sleep on Munday nite that wen I woke up yestaday I thort it mus be Crismoss!

My ferst poynt ov confewzhon waz corzed by Daddy, reelly. He bilt a new wardrobe at the weekend an hassent kwite finisht transferrin all his cloves into it: there is a dror full of pants (wa-heyy) under the bed an a dror full ov sox jus sort ov moochin abowt the room. Hense, I awoke from a deep sleep an wat did I see at the foot ov my bed? Sox! So I thort, "My, my, yung Bob, I do beleev that Farther Crismoss has been in the nite alreddy, an yu diden't rite him a letter. Oh deer!" So I waz kwite relleeevd to discuver that this waz not the cayse.

BUT THEN!

Mummy opend the post an got our ferst Crismoss card!

IT'S TROO! Heer it is:

If yu arsk me, this robin duzzent look at all happy abowt havin to pose so errly fer this card.

On closer look we diskuverd that it is waz from the RSPB. Theez ar peepol hoo like berds an try to stop peepol hertin them. Like, if sumwun thinks, "Oo look at that berd's nest: I think I mite like that fer a hat." then the RSPB go arfter them an giv them a slap.

ENYWAY. They send us catalogs eech yeer an yewzerlly giv us a SAMPOL card to get us to think "MY, that is a good card; I think I shall buy another 2 so Dilly can send wun to all her frends" but we never do. We jus yews that wun fer sumwun we don't reelly like, like Mummy's stepmother, or sumwun else hoo smells a bit odd. (Bit like an old armchare that's been left owtside fer the cowncil to pik up an tayke to the dump, but they dident tern up, an then the local strays mayde a home in it, till it got wet in the rayne, then they jus sprayd it an went off in a huff.)

BUT this yeer we carnt cos they'v ritten this inside:

Foiled! And so yu see, this IS our ferst Crismoss card TO US.
I am goin to send this bak to the RSPB an tell them that I think it is a tad rood that they jus sined it "from all at the" an I want it personally sined, pleez, by evrybody, an the berds as well.

There. That shud keep them bizzy till Deesember, then they can send it agen. Proply.

Bye fer now!

12 comments:

Pope Terry said...

Its not even october yet... and your already getting christmas stuff, my word it gets earlier every year. That step mother smell must be something really special though.

Good idea abou the awards I shall enquire about them aroundthe traps.

Mousie/Paisible said...

and maybe the mistletoe is going to hurt the poor robin's feet...

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,

Mummy's berfday is in November an it annoys her wen they put up Crismoss decorayshuns eevn befor then! An the larst few yeers her brother sez, "This present iz fer yor berfday an Crismoss as well" that's not fare!!!!
But his is neer Eester, so if he duz it agen, sheez goin to get a Eester card an rite 'happy berfday' in it for him. HAHAHAHA.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Mousie,
I kno Bob-robins hav their foto's on Crismoss cards, but I don't think they reelly enjoy Crismoss, I think they jus like the cayke.

:@}

Chalkhills Collective said...

Oh Bob, I’m cringing, the embarrassment. Have we REALLY sent out a Christmas card in SEPTEMBER? And you’re right, that is not a happy robin. Leave it with me and I’ll have words!

Chalky

CHEWY said...

Tee-Hee, send it back and have them all sign it! Ha-ha!

mrsnesbitt said...

Well itis definately official! Yes it is on its way! My Mother in Law has booked the taxi for Christmas Day. Yes it is at our house and yes I am cooking for the family so I will make sure we have plenty to drink in! When the family come round it is like an Alan Bennet Play! Maybes I should video it all! LOL!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chalky, wotchoo meen "we"? Ar yu the RSPB? My parronts ar members. An Dilly, too. Sept she duzzent pay. She stows-away wen we visit their reserves. I jus hang owt in the shop. I like playin wiv those toy berds that chirp wen yu skeez their tummys. I like the way they all do diffrent chirps.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chewy,
It's in the post.

HEEEEEEEEehehehehehe!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Mrs Nesbitt,

Can we come? Will yu be havin sum ov that Whitby Gingerbread? We bort sum ov that in Harrogate an it waz yummy. I had it wiv lemon curd. Slurp.

Victorya said...

Bob,

Yesterday I got 5 (blank)cards from one of our wildlife organization as a way to get us to buy more. But five is plenty. Please don't let the bird association from your land talk to the nature one from mine, or I might have to buy cards one day.

Chalkhills Collective said...

Damn, I've blown my cover! I wouldn't make a very good spy, would I!

Chalky

PS I won't tell on Dilly