- Gills: yes
- Simpsons: mist it: rats!
- Tesco: no
- Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10
- Day Score: 7.25493/10
Daddy got home from werk an sed, "Hey! Bob! Getcha kit on! Gillingham ar playin tonite!" an I jus had time to hide the pants I haddent kwite finisht frolickin under the bed, get me bloo jumper on, eet a choklit Breakaway bar, an then we wer off. I dident hav time to get on heer an tell yu all that yu need to get yer bloo pants on!
We playd Doncaster (full nayme: Doncaster Donkey Poo) hoo ar so poor, they carnt afford goal posts: their players hav to roll up their coats an yews them insted, in two piles at the end ov the pitch. HAHAHAHA!
Enyway, it waz a not-a-looz. We got 1 goal an so did they. I think it waz jus so cold an dark that neither teem cud be botherd arfter that. Evrywun jus wantid a cuppa tea.
Natchrily me an Daddy hav been kwite consernd abowt leevin Mummy at home wiv Therzday's berfday presents skwirrold away in Daddy's study. Granny warnd us that she likes to sniff owt pressies an find out wat they ar befor the big day. So we had to adopt sum desprit security mezzurs: GUARD SOCKS.
The dor to Daddy's study, wiv Guard Socks in playse.
Ov corsse, men AN women wear socks, but it taykes a man to mayke a Guard Sock. Wat yu hav to do is wear them. That's abowt it, reelly. Then tayke them off an put them in playse in frunt ov wat yu want gardid.
Be warnd: they ownly werk on gerls. Boys ar immewn to the yewneek aroma ov the good Guard Sock. Gerls, on the other paw, hav been known to parss owt.
Daddy's a pro, an his socks hav a matchure vommitty smell. But if yor socks arnt as traynd, yu can thro them under the bed for a week or 2 or bury them at the bottom ov the washin barsket. Enywhare whare they can hav a good rot undisterbd.
We got bak from football abowt 15 minits ago. Not ownly did the socks werk in that the pressies ar untutchd, but Mummy iz cookin Chikn Curry. She sez she duzzent kno wy she suddenly fanseed Chikn Curry at 11.30 at nite, but yu an I kno: sertain fumes needid cuverin. Wa-heyy! A dubbol result!
Enyway. Yestaday, arfter my If They Weren't Human piktcher, sum ov yu arskt hoo I wud be if I wassent Bob The Bear. Well, folks, Calamity Jane spotted a serten resemblance a few months bak.......Bye fer now!