WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Monday, April 02, 2007


Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: no
  • Tesco: no. But we did go fer a nice walk in sum woods, so I did a poo.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: too bizzy avoiding other Bears hoo were keen on April Fool jokes... /10
  • Day Score: 7/10

Let me tell yu sumthing bout our Sunday rooteen. Me an Daddy get up an go to Dance Skool. He calls it "Church". Mummy an Dilly stay in bed cos they're heathens.
Enyway, at Dance Skool, Daddy sits wiv the other peopol hoo wear glasses, in a littol groop. He plays the floot an they play things like gittars an clarinets an stuff. They do this to get out of singing.

There's a bloke up the frunt in a dress, sept Daddy sez it issent a dress, an duzzent like me calling it that. But I say it TIS a dress. It goes over the hed and hangs down an duzzent tuck in enywhere. Ergo, dress. (Like Dilly sez abowt Whales being fish: "Look like fish, swim in sea: FISH!")

Dilly's WHALES-ARE-FISH equation:
look like fish + swim in sea = fish

I sit on wun ov the benches wiv everybody else. Lots of peopol bring their Bears wiv them. There's a thin padded plank in frunt of each of the benches an this is for us Bears to dance along, up an down during the songs.
At wun point, sum old peopol come around wiv swag bags an mug yu fer yor pocket money. I put a shiney penny in, yewsually, or else the old women give yu a Hard Stare. But I don't on the days wen it's ownly Theory, i.e. no songs. I begrudge paying them then, an so I hide under the bench wen they come rownd. (Occaysionally I'll stay there, if I meet another Bear under there, an we do some good chatting. )

Enyway, near the end, everywun goes up to the bloke in the dress for a wafer. I don't go cos I'm ownly small an might get crushed in the rush.

Then we come home, an I go an jump all over Mummy an Dilly, hoo will still be in bed, an Daddy brings us awl tea an biccies.

That's our yewsual rooteen, an yestaday it was the same, sept we were all given bits of reed to wave about. Next week is Eesta so we get extra songs followed by Choklit fer good behaivyour.

Well it issent mind-blowing stuff, I know. Just thort yu'd like to know a bit about wat we do on Sundays, cos let's face it, it can get pritty dull. Even the birds in the garden this morning were yawning, an looking around for a cat to torment jus fer sumthing to do. Mummy dug up bushes on wun side of the garden an plarnted them on the other. An Dilly fell asleep watching repeats of CSI. If yor not careful, yu cud end up chewing yor own fut off!

Bye fer now!


Margaret said...

LOL yes I've done gardening like that.

Always a delight to hear about your life, Bob.

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

Ahhhh. Fan cu.

Matt said...

That fish equation sounds good enough for me!

margaret said...

Bob, I've just re-read this, and realised that you told us you did a poo.