WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Pantless At Tesco!

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: Hibernayting
  • Simpsons: no; at Tesco
  • Tesco: oh, YES!
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
  • Day Score: 8.37/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Weer off to Granny's fer the weekend, but I jus HAD to pop in an tell yu wat happened larst nite.

HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

Me an Mummy walked to Tesco an got the shopping. Wen we reeched the till to pay we rang Daddy to arsk him to come an get us cos it was too hevy to carry. He took a while to arrive but wen he did, he sneakt up to me (I ride in the trolley) an whispered in my ear:

"BOB! You'll never gess! The elastic on me' pants has jus gone!"

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

Mummy, being nosey, demarnded to know why The Bear had just creased up an dived in among the packs of sultanas she'd bort fer the berds, shaking. He must hav told her, cos I herd her say,

"OH FER GOODNESS' SAKE!"

An we shuffled off to the carpark. Daddy had a VERY Visible Panty Line. About half way between his hips an his knees. The crotch of his trousers was showing signs of strain an we jus hoped the button an flies wud hold out.

He explained to me that "It happened as I got out of the car. I wassent worreed at ferst cos I thort there'd be enuff skin frikshun to keep them on me buttocks."

But alas, no. Down they fled, leaving Daddy skuttling through Tescos looking fer us, poised like a drunk hoo'd pooed his pants.

Well, I nearly burst my bum, I larfed so much. I cuddent navigate home cos I cuddent sit upright. So we drove blind.

Wen we got home he ran upstairs in slow-motion an got changed. He brort the pants downstairs, they wer the faithful old wuns that we cuddent quite remember the colour of- were they brown or wer they maroon? Alas, their intended colour was long ago lost in the mists of time. Mummy opened the bin, I saluted, an he dropt them in.

Weird Old Marroony Pants, R.I.P.

Bye fer now!

11 comments:

Shrink wrapped scream said...

OOHHHHOOOOHAHAHAHAHA!!! My aunties knickers went once, when she was in town. Being a sensible sort, she always carried a saftey pin around for just this type of occassion. She shuffled behind a van and sorted herself out, then a voice said, "Are you done, missus? Can I drive off, now?"

phaseoutgirl said...

Number four on David's list! Well done, huggable bear!!

cheers,

Cecilia

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Datz a weow funnee towwee Bob! Wunz me maw maw wozt huh undow swip wen dee wuz wawkin hom fwom chuch. Dee duzt kickt it up, tukt it undow huh awm an kept on wahkin! hehehe Doz peepow an duh dangz day do! hehehehe

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Shrinky, I hav just thrown my arms up at yor Arnty!! Wa-heyyyy!!!!!!!!!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Cecilia,

Wa-heyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dident find out till today, but I did a speshal bum shuffle as a sellybrayshun.

Thanks for the hugabel compliment.

Nose-hugs,

Bob :@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Meanie,

I'm keepin a closer eye on Mummy as the days get warmer. She yewsually wears jeans but I suspect that wen she gets bak into skirts, it cud get intresting.

Hehehe....do yu think I shud get into her pant dror wiv sum sizzors??? Hehehe..hhHEHEEEEhehee...

;@}

Sam said...

i dunno..... this situation kinda makes me want to laugh out loud... and also makes me think wot was ur dad's reaction to be honest!!
he must've been mighty embarassed given the way you describe his state of affairs!!
nice way to present it though!!
cheers

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Sam, he tried to bribe me, I SAY, BRIBE me, wiv choklit peanuts, to get me to ferget about it. Tsk!!!

david mcmahon said...

Hi BTBear,

Now we know who wears the pants in your house!

Cheers

David

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

David, it taint the wearing, it's the frolicking.

;@}

margaret said...

Oh no!!!!!!!!!! Your poor daddy!