She goosed a frog, I tell ya!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no....we needid to go, cos we ran outta milk. Then they disappeared. Wen they got bak, I arskt them abowt goin to Tesco, an Mummy sed, "Oh, it's ok Bob, I fownd sum mor milk at the bak of the fridge." What the? SLIGHTLY suspishus that they sneekt out wivout me. They wuddent do that, wud they?
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10! /10
• Day Score: 7.6/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Been lookin at the berds in our garden. They're startin to bring their babys wiv them.

All the babys luv the berd-bath. carnt see the attrakshun myself. But heer's the weird thing- it stays clean wiv all the berds EXCEPT the starlings. Boy, they must be filthy. All that's left arfterwoods is a bit of brown sludge.

Well, Mummy went out to clean this out an top up wiv new water earlier, an a frog jumpt out from underneath the bath. She put it bak under, saying, "Sorry, Froggy, dident meen to disturb." An he jumpt out the other side. So she put him bak under agen, but he wassent havin eny of it. Must be a stubborn sort. Bit like Dilly.

"is there a helpline for abused frogs?"

Enyway. So off he leaps, across the garden, till he gets to a small fence separating the lawn and the flower bed. He wants to cross it, see, to hide in there away from the berds. But although bouncy, his legs are small. So wat did Mummy do? Did she gently lift him over the barrier? Did she maternally coax him over his predikament? No. She goosed him. GOOSED him, I tell ya.

In case sum of yu are unfamiliar with this expreshun, let me explain. It involves holding all your fingers straight an together, pointing out like a small shovel. Then yu playce sed shovel jus behind the poor creacher's bum-end, and kwickly poke, like it's being pekt by a goose from behind.

I've never seen a frog leap so high so farst.

Sertainly got him over the littol fence. I'm not shor if he's even landed yet.

Better not tern my bak on her fer a while....

Bye fer now!