WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Saturday, May 26, 2007

She goosed a frog, I tell ya!

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no....we needid to go, cos we ran outta milk. Then they disappeared. Wen they got bak, I arskt them abowt goin to Tesco, an Mummy sed, "Oh, it's ok Bob, I fownd sum mor milk at the bak of the fridge." What the? SLIGHTLY suspishus that they sneekt out wivout me. They wuddent do that, wud they?
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10! /10
  • Day Score: 7.6/10
HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Been lookin at the berds in our garden. They're startin to bring their babys wiv them.

All the babys luv the berd-bath. carnt see the attrakshun myself. But heer's the weird thing- it stays clean wiv all the berds EXCEPT the starlings. Boy, they must be filthy. All that's left arfterwoods is a bit of brown sludge.

Well, Mummy went out to clean this out an top up wiv new water earlier, an a frog jumpt out from underneath the bath. She put it bak under, saying, "Sorry, Froggy, dident meen to disturb." An he jumpt out the other side. So she put him bak under agen, but he wassent havin eny of it. Must be a stubborn sort. Bit like Dilly.

"is there a helpline for abused frogs?"

Enyway. So off he leaps, across the garden, till he gets to a small fence separating the lawn and the flower bed. He wants to cross it, see, to hide in there away from the berds. But although bouncy, his legs are small. So wat did Mummy do? Did she gently lift him over the barrier? Did she maternally coax him over his predikament? No. She goosed him. GOOSED him, I tell ya.

In case sum of yu are unfamiliar with this expreshun, let me explain. It involves holding all your fingers straight an together, pointing out like a small shovel. Then yu playce sed shovel jus behind the poor creacher's bum-end, and kwickly poke, like it's being pekt by a goose from behind.

I've never seen a frog leap so high so farst.

Sertainly got him over the littol fence. I'm not shor if he's even landed yet.

Better not tern my bak on her fer a while....

Bye fer now!

7 comments:

Dilly said...

Dilly like fwogs.

Meanie the baby dragon said...

meanie yike bugz, meowz an spidowz

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ooooo... Mummy is scared of spiders.

But she did try to save one the other night.

Instead of just splattin it like she yewsually duzz, she put a glass over it an slid it onto a bit of paper. She waz gonna carry it like this to the door an let it go.

But it went WHIZZ WHIZZ WHIZZ WHIZZ WHIZZ rownd an rownd the glass an mayde a buzzing noize. Then the glass wobbled an the spider got out.

Well Mummy screeched an dropt it all on the floor. Then she panicked cos the spider was out and coming her way. So she grabbed the glass an hit it, over an over, an with each hit she sed:

"I.

GAVE.

YOU.

A.

CHANCE!"




Then she felt gilty, she sed, cos it was smaller than her.

Like, Duh! Duzz she think she wudda killed it if it had been bigger than her?

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Oooh, what a mean mummy, poor frog!

Helena said...

I was only trying to help!!!!

Animals with Opinions said...

why didn't she just eat it?

gerald

if you got this twice its because i had computer problems

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

"why didn't she just eat it?"

- becos she's not French!!!

;@}