WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Book, enywun?

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: yes, the littol wun, cos they wer gettin seeriossly low on cow jooss.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: bizzy /10
  • Day Score: 7.83972/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

We went fer a drive to the seaside, at a playse calld Aldeburgh. Aldeburgh haz beechis full ov so menny pebbols yu'd think yu'd wonderd off the roade into a fludded kworry, wiv a few lost boates bobbin abowt.

We ownly stayd neer the sea to admire the stones fer a few minits, as the gayle force wind sort ov detraktid from the expeerience just a tad. But we did go explorin the shops, incloodin a littol cafe calld "The Cabin" wher Mummy had the "All Day Breakfast" an neerly showd us all up by giggling at the waytressis, hoo kept arguing an givin eech other bad looks. (She sed she did feel sorry for them, but it waz like wotchin Fawlty Towers.)

Still, at leest it waz entertaynment wile we wayted harf an hour fer our tea an fodder. I was far mor intrestid in the way her bottom waz escaypin from her skirt, both abuv an below it. (Wun ov the waytressis, not Mummy, hoo prefers to keep eny lumpy bits Well Tuckt In An Coverd. Unlike the current trend fer lettin it all hang owt an entertaynin eny small Bears in the visinity. Wa-heyy!)

Mummy mayde a cuppol ov perchessis in the shops, wun extreemly good, an the other extreemly poor.

They wer both fer my cuzzin, Alex, hoo will be 7 next munth. I like Alex. He haz oringe hair an a toy dog calld Spike.

Heer iz the extreemly exsllent perchess, the berfday card, wich I'm shor yu'll agree is beary exsllent indeed:


Heer iz the embarrassingly poor perchess, the present (er....the book, not me.):


Did yu see the mistayke?

Aha! That's rite! Alex is ALREDDY SIX, Mummy, so there's no poynt in getting THIS book fer his NEXT berfday. D'oh! Eevn if he WUD kwite like the storeez in it, yung persons ar kwite sensitiv abowt wether they ar 6 or 7, so he won't be wontin "HA HA YOR STILL 6" ritten all over the frunt ov a present fer his 7th Berfday.

On spottin her errer, she sed that I can hav the book. Wat an insult! I waz reeding far beyond this age groop a few yeers ago! Tsk! (Yu kno, wen I say I am unda-appyshyaytid rownd heer, she looks at me like I don't kno wat I'm talkin abowt!)

So heer we ar- stuk with a book an no 6 yeer olds to giv it to.

So I cayme up with a plan:

Do yu hav eny 6 yeer olds owt there hoo wud like this book? If so, let me kno arfta this post an email me yor address an I'll send it to yu. Watever country, that duzzent matter. I mite eevn put a littol extra sumthin in the pakkidge too. Sumthing a bit Beary. Ferst come, ferst servd, so get ryting!

Bye fer now!

25 comments:

Chalkhills Collective said...

Hello Bob. I like Aldeburgh too, did you have fish and chips? Shame about the book, it's 5 years too old for what I'm looking for. Any ideas for a one year old (oh and a 40 year old too)?

Chalky

Phytheas said...

Ooohh Bob, you're so lucky to go to the seaside it's my most favourite place. I haven't been since before I did the history stuff in France last week. I was told we’d be near the sea to get there, but we went under it, so I don’t think that counts. I think I’m going to have to make some heavy bear hints to get there at lunchtime tomorrow. We have pebbles on our beach too.

Phy

PS about the book, perhaps your Mum had an attack of the horrormoans, mine gets them every month and makes mistakes like that too, good job we bears don’t have em!

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Aw Bob, it's an easy mistake to make. It was hubby's birthday last week, so I splashed out on the joint credit card for him. I thought he'd love the plans for an indoor swimming pool.. I know the kids did. God, how wrong was that? They wouldn't even so much as allow us to light his cake in intensive care, forget the Bucks Fizz.

Wish he'd learn to lighten up some. Anyways, I know how your feels. Sadly, my nephew (also called Alex) is also seven on his next birthday - so he would say it was a CRAP pressie, too. Sorry.

Ms. Creek said...

i'd like to see those stones along the beach, i bet they were really special! and no, no 6 year olds...all mine are grown and gone! maybe meanie would like the book! kaylee is 5 now...he can give it to her in a year!

Pope Terry said...

No six year olds here, but if you can package up that waitress with her 'bootoms' hanging out, I'd gladly accept that.

Victorya said...

no six year olds here either! They must be endangered or something. Actually, no any year olds for me though (but I have found a few bears while cleaning, camoflaughed into the walls and closets and boxes they did).

A.Bananna said...

that is too bad about the book! I only have under 6 here. :( hope you find someone bob.

Chewy said...

I want the stand-up bear card!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chalky,

No, we snifft the fish an chips but dident get eny cos the kew fer them went rownd the blok!!! They must be reelly good!

Fer a wun year old I recommend a bear. Not wun wiv knees, obviussly, as yu don't want to be givin a REAL bear to sumwun that yung. Imajin the goo! HAHA! SUmtimes yu can find wuns that come wiv books or that play tewns. Yes, that's wat I'd get. Then they'll be reddy fer a REAL bear wen they're older.

An fer the 40 yr old... I don't kno, an I need to soon, cos Mummy will be 40 in Novemba.

If in dowt, buy pants, I shud think. Yes, that sownds like a plan.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Phytheas,

Reelly? My fayvrit playse iz in the woods!

I was impresst by yor foto's ov France. I pertikularly like the look ov that histry book yu had. Lots ov things to colour in.

Mummy sez that if we go to Yurrop weel go by ferry or playne, as she duzzent like tunnels. She duzzent reelly like hites or depfs.

Re th epebbly beach, I do kwite like them, as I like the noyze they mayke wen yu tred on them.

Re the book mistayke, nah, she had that weird choklit monsta week a cuppol ov weeks ago. I think she just fergot how to cownt. Been hangin arownd Dilly's blog too much...

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Shrinky, that's too bad.

Mind yu, I wuddent want an indoor pool either. It's bad enuff havin a barth in the howse.

:@o

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ms Creek,

Click here to see foto's of Aldeburgh, incloodin sum ov the stones on the beech!

As fer the book, we mite sayve it fer Alex's littol bruther, Dominic, hoo is 4. But then, by the time he is neerly 6, weel hav fergotten ware we put it.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ms Creek,

Yu hav to clik "foto gallery" at the top, then clik on "Aldeburgh"

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Wat I want to see iz her pants. Enuff room there, methinks, to happilly howse a small Bear.

Wa-heyy!

:@D

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Victorya,

WOW! They must be reelly gud Spy Bears!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

a.bananna,

Still no taykers!
We may hav to put it in a charity shop. (Ther ar yewzally a few Bears up fer adopshun in them, an they mite like to reed it, arfta all.)

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chewy,

If I see anuther wun I'll get it fer yu!

:@}

Rachelle said...

Dear Bob,
I don't have any 6 year olds, well, my husband doesn't count does he?
:))
What a cute card, did mummy get one for you?
Slainte~
Rachelle

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Rachelle! NO SHE DIDENT! That's a jolly gud poynt yu mayke there! I'm off to hav a werd.....

Lady_T said...

lol no 6 year olds here unfortunately and Im way to old to read that myself...good luck in finding someone...or have you already?

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Lady T,
Nope, no taykers so far.
I sor Mummy reedin it larst note, an chuklin....

:@}

david mcmahon said...

Are you by any chance related to the fella in the stand-up card?

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

David,
Ah yes, an a hansum fella he is too, dontcha think????

:@}

Spaulding T. Bear said...

Bob T.,
Hope you didn't give that book away yet! Guess how old Teddy T. Bear will be next January?! Yuppers! 6!!!!!! (I hope he doesn't read this comment section. He's taking car of Daddy at the moment. They have the same birfdate, but Daddy's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay older!) I'm much older then Teddy T., I'm 7, going on 8 in December.

If'n you still have the book, would ja bmail (spauldingtbear@yahoo.com) me for our snail mail address. We're in the states.

As for 40th bifday ideas, Axlerod solved that problem three years ago. He decided no Stuffy should ever be older then 39, so we no long celebrate birfdays for him -- we celebrate anniversaries of his 39th birfday! We just had a surprise 3rd anniversary party for him a month ago! Some People, named Emily Posts, says that all wimmins should answer the question, "How old are you?" wif "39 with experience." Betcha your Mommy would prefer annivarsaries instead of birfdays from now on!

Well, we just wondered over before updating our blog! Gardening season gets us so behind, but we ware so sad it is almost over!

Your Beary Buddy,
Spaulding T.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Hullo Spaulding!
I'll email yu rite away fer yor address!
:@}