WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Gettin Blaymd. Agen.

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: um...fergot /10
  • Day Score: 7/10

Sumtimes yu think it's gonna be a good day an then it chaynges. It's like sumwun is drivin yor day in a bus an then they desyde to tern a corner so that yu go parst the soo-er-ridge werks insted of the mownten vews yu wer expektin. Today waz like that. A bit.

Mummy went into town an bort sum new Laydy-Bump pants. Theez arnt like ordenry pants that a boy wud ware. Come to think ov it, no gerl pants ar like wat boys wud ware. Exsept fer Peter Stringfellow. But I think he's up to sumthing. Enyway. As I waz sayin, Laydy-Bump pants. Theez ar wat gerls ware under their jumpers to keep things in playse wen they're runnin fer the bus.

Dilly got a tad confewsd wen she red the labol on the new wuns, cos they wer French, an in French they ar called Bonnets. So Dilly, bein ov a type that is kwite parshal to the odd bonnet, put them on her hed, screamed, cos she duzzent like the dark, then tryd attakin them.

Bein ov a type that is kwite parshal to the odd bonnet. Unfortewnitly fer Dilly, sed new bonnets wer very odd, an much larger than this wun.

At this poynt Mummy cayme bak from the barthroom an accewsd me of havin frolikt them, as they wer now on the flor, an Dilly waz noware to be seen (exsept by yors trooly: she waz on top ov the dor) so muggins heer got the blayme.

I'm not eevn into Laydy-Bump pants. Yu carnt mayke a deesent hammok out ov them. They're the rong shaype. Just as yu think yu've got a good baysis fer a stretch out, they go in an owt agen. It jus duzzent werk.

Well, maybe if yor Mummy iz Dolly Parton, yu mite be abol to mayke it werk. But my Mummy issent, an no matter how much she thinks she needs to go on a diet, there jus issent enuff for a small Bear ov my kaliber to be intrestid on a construkshun baysis.

An yu carnt get a good frolick owt ov them cos yu end up in a not. An yu jus KNO that the hooks will hook on the bits ov yu that hooks hav no bizzness knowin abowt. So there. It wassent me.

Well I gayve up tryin to convinse her an went off an watcht The Simpsons.

It waz wun ov my favrit eppysodes: the wun ware Santa's Littol Helper gets puppies:

Hmmm.... I notiss that Lisa duzzent ware Laydy-Bump pants. A Bear wud be sayfe, huggin up to her. Ahhh......

Bye fer now!


Dilly said...

Bonnit not fit Dilly.
Dilly got wun hed, not got too heds. Stoopit. Not mayde rite.

RUTH said...

LOL...brilliant post Bob. The Laydy-Bump pants may make good catapaults if Dilly's Castle ever gets threatened! :o)

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

I told yu, they wernt that type ov bonnet. Not unless French laydeez hav very strange shapet heds.
I;ll hav to arsk Mousie.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

That's a grayte idea. Or maybe to catapult Dilly. It wud craydol her bum just nicely. I wonder how farst sheed go. Hahahaha!


Allan Cook said...

I love that episode. Santa's Littler Helpers are so cute!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Thay're great.
Yu get to see Mr Burn's pants in this episode, too, and they're mayde ov imitayshun brown fur. He menshuns them in a song an calls them "Grizzly Bear underpants".


Pope Terry said...

Thats the episode that taught me puppies cant land on their feet.

Phytheas said...

Bob, as I'm in France I'll see if I can find some Bonnets. I might need em as there's a storm brezing, no that's brewing, pah to this French keyboard!!


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,
Good poynt.
I'm still not convinst cats can. I mite hav to test it owt on Mr Scooter nex time I'm at Granny's.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Good luk! I hope yu take the camra!

A.Bananna said...

I think the catapault idea is a good one. You should try it and let us know how it works! lol.

Victorya said...

I love that episode! "See - my- vest, see my vest"

*sigh* good memories.

okay, my verification word was IQ PIGS YO. Is that slang for saying pigs are smart?

Dreadnaught said...

absolutly quality post Bob, lady bump pants, they're the future.......

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


"See my vest! See my vest!"

It waz a catchy tewn.

Hey I jus saw our woodmouse heddid for the wild bird seed. I better go see what he's up to.....

Oh yes, an pigs ar ment to be very smart. But I carnt see that they cud be THAT smart. Or they'd hav inventid the weel by now an got away wen they see the farmer coming.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


My Grandad yewst to werk on a ship calld HMS Dreadnaught.... he has a Bear hoo haz it ritten on his jumper. I don't hang arownd wiv ex-Navy Bears much tho. Thay're a hard bunch. All tattoos an shoolaysis.