WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Monday, August 20, 2007

The livin legend

Yesterday's scores:

  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: no
  • Tesco: yes- the kettol, a meer 10 months old, blew up. We took it bak to get anuver wun, an the laydy sed, "It's OK, we're recallin theez wuns enyway." So Mummy waz rong to moan abowt it coz it waz MENT to blow up. Yu see.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
  • Day Score: 7/10


Well, werk on my new film is goin OK. I showd a bit ov it to Mummy, an I cud tell she waz imprest coz she lost all consentrayshun an nokt over her record-braykin stack ov yewsd tea-bags by the kettol. (29! Wow! That IS good.) But I hav come away from my Direktin werk becoz Grayum gayv me a tug on the eer-lobe this mornin an remindid me that I never got rownd to tellin yu abowt Sherwood Forest.

Sum ov yu may recall that wen we cayme bak from Yorkshire the other week we stopt in Nottinghamshire on the way cos sum of us wer in need ov tea, sum wer in need ov a wee, an sum wantid to chek owt the faymuss woods ov Sherwood Forest an maybe leev a few deposits, like wat Bears do.

Well! It jus goze to show how storeez get chaynged down the yeers, duzzent it? I meen, did yu kno that Robin Hood waz reelly a Bear???? He waz bizzy in his offiss, but he cayme to the windo so me an Grayum cud hav a foto wiv him:
The band ov Merry Bears arskt me to joyne, but I thort the kit lookt a bit too much like a dress, to be onnist....

we fownd a big oak tree an wer lookin forwood to doin a speshol poo by it, but do yu kno, we werent allowd to! They sed that the tree waz so old it had to be lookt arfter, an so they put a fence rownd it. I arsk yu! How do they think it reecht such a ripe old age, wivowt sum ripe old Bears droppin by to drop sum droppins by it from time to time? Sum peepol, they kno nothin!
Wyle we pozed fer the foto in frunt ov the big oak, a man cayme up an put a sticker on Grayum's jumper!
I waz goin to do a kararty "Phwah!" on him, an chew his leg off, coz Mummy always told us to beware ov men givin owt pressies in the woods. But she sed it waz OK, an he waz jus collektin fer a charity or sumthin.

Well! this is wat I keep tellin Grayum, that the sticker waz fer a charity. But he thinks it is a medol, fer HIM. An werse, it sez "Living Legend" on it. So now he thinks heez It:

Wich kinda brings me bak to this mornin, an him tuggin my eer-lobe. This is the vew I woke up to:
It waz a shok, I can tell yu. I had to promiss to tell yu all abowt him bein a Livin Legend. It waz that or risk loozin an eer. An I carnt do that. A spy has to hav wun eer forward an wun eer bak. If I lost wun, how wud I signal to other Bear Spys?

I do hope that sticker gets unstuck soon......

Bye fer now!


Rachelle said...

Maybe it's wrong of me to laugh at the thought of you chewing on Grayum but there it is.... I laughed.... very hard too!
You are a cute little bear B.T., and tough too! I wouldn't want to get on your bad side.

BTW, I would be perturbed as well to wake up to someone so close to me!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chew Grayum!
No! I ment I waz gonna chew the man wiv the stickers! I waz gonna go Phwah! An chew his leg off!
Not Grayum!
Oh boy that's funny.
Stoppit I got a stitch....oh boy

Chew Grayum's leg off! HAAAAHAHA!

(I mite be temptid to if I hav to liv wiv a "Livin Legend" fer much longer!)

Thanks, Rachelle, yu brytend up a clowdy day!

(BTW, yor rite tho- I AM tuff. Peepol think I'm ownly littol an eevn cewt. But they ferget, Bears do ferroshus, too.)


Victorya said...

quick question, in that last photo grayum looks like he's levitating, can he do that? It looks pretty cool, and you are a tall bear for your age it seems, so must he levitate all above the ground to pull at your ear even if you are asleeping?

another question - why does the word verification keep getting longer and longer and with more q's and x's?

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

He wassent levytaytin, he waz bownsin! He hassent stoppt bownsin sinse he got the sticker. He bownsis along the bed an then on yor hed. I can think ov plenty better types ov alarm clok, I can tell yu.

As fer the werd verificayshun thingy- I don't kno. I've notist sumthin straynge goin on wiv that fer sum time. Wen I go over to Authorblog an try to leev a comment, it swears at me! An if I don't put the letters in rite the ferst time, it comes bak an calls me sumthing like "eejit" or "sillyfekr".

An an an wats wiv all the silly fonts??

I think it's an anti-Bearite conspirissy.


lolly said...

Hi Bob!
This is just an idea, but do you know what would make that sticker not stick any more??? Water! Maybe next time you need to water your marygolds Grayum could help and you could "accidently" get him with the water. Just a thought. I would get pretty annoyed with him strut'en around with a fake badge and thinking he's better than you, also. Good luck!

david mcmahon said...

Hi BTBear,

Will be posting a picture for you in the next 24 hours or so.



Ms. Creek said...

wow, you get to go to all the fun places! maybe i'll come over to england and you can show me around...

i like your gramma's pin.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

That is a good idea!
Mind yu, it wud be crooel as Bears don't like barths, or showers.

But.... the sticker is alreddy curlin up at the corners and a nifty spillin ov tea mite help it along.....

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ooooo.... intreeegin. I carnt wayte to see wat this iz abowt!
Is it a Bear?
Is it pants????
Is it Lisa??????
Is it Lisa in a pair ov pants wiv a pikcher ov a Bear on them?

Oh goody....


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ms Creek,
Yeah! Com over an we can go fer a cream tea sumware, wiv cayke an jam an cream an tea an stuff. Slurp!

Pope Terry said...

Wow thats a revelation, Robin Hood a bear... I can see that, obviously he and you shared some obvious combat skills, I can tell the 'Phwah!' was quite powerful.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,
Absolutely! I meen, wat is mor natural in woods than a Bear?


Victorya said...

Thanks for clarfying! Being of the Pooh generation I only think of tiggers as bouncing, not Bears! Although levitation would come in handy.

You know what is supposed to work real well for unsticking sticky stuff? Baby oil (made with real babies!). That's at least what I've been told in relation to glue traps. "if you want to get unstuck, pour on some baby oil" people tell me in that "I'm telling you something that is true and works and you should listen to me" type of voice.

Chewy said...

Did Mum boil fish in that kettle?

Hope the new kettle is fine for fish.

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Hi Bob! Me go wiff Lolly tu engwund an shee dan bizit wiff u an me bizit wiff Dilly. I fink datz a dood Idee!

A.Bananna said...

I would like to have seen you chew on the man's leg. I bet it would hurt. I like lolly's idea also. she has a lot of naughty ideas!! anyways...I loved the picture of you with robin hood. you should really get one of those outfits!! lol. have a great week!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ah! I kno the type ov voyse yor tolkin abowt! I shall hav to inspekt the barthroom an see if there iz eny Bayby Oil. Weev got Olive Oil in the kitchen. That mite werk. I'm a bit worreed bowt it makin my paws oily tho. I herd Mummy say wunce (in THAT voyse) that sope gets rid ov oil. But sope always has warter arfter it. An then yu start gettin into barths. Litrolly. An I don't do barths.....

oh, heck...

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


Fish? FISH? What the? No, it waz fer warter. It boils the warter fer tea. An coffee.

A kettol ov fish..... a kettol ov fish..... a kettol ov fish.... is that a sayin? Sownds like a saying. ooo my hed herts...

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chuck, WAt? Yu don't want to vizit me, then, ownly Dilly? Well OK. But she duzzent kno ware the choklit peanuts ar kept. So there. HA!


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Yor bak!
Hope yu had a good holiday.
Mummy offerd to by me wun ov the Robin Hood owtfits but I thort it lookt a bit like a dress. AN they're green. An I cuddent risk the hewmillyayshun that Dilly wud hav put me throo.