WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Bears an Air Travol

Hullo Not-A-Bears!

I've reseevd a kweery from a Bear regardin Air Travol:

Hello Bob T. Bear. My name is also Bob. My Roman name is Bobbus Bearus Maximus coz I'm kwite a big bear and I like Romans.

Wy, hullo there, Bob! It is always nise to heer from a fello Bear, an I see yu ar also a fello Bob! An may I tayke this opportewnity to compliment yu on such a fine nayme!

Anyway I woz hoping yu cud giv me sum advis as yu seem a very nowlijable bear. My frend who looks after me wants to take me on a airoplane at krismas so we can visit her famlee. But, her boyfrend says that coz I hav a voys box inside my body the peepol at the airport mite not let me go and mite unstich me or take me away and not giv me bak. So its safer if I stay at home.

Hav you herd of any other bears with voys boxes that have bin on a airoplane? Do you think it will be safe for me to go or shud I fone the airport and try and get a bear passport?

By! from Bob

PS I hope your marigolds are doing well.

Well, Bob, I do kno a Bear wiv a voyse box as it happens, an his nayme is Mr Grunter. He is very old an yewst to carfter Mummy wen she waz a littol gerl. But he has never been on a airoplane.

Mr Grunter: a Bear ov respektabol dottage. He acheevd his yewneek nose-shaype throo menny yeers of huggin.

So I went an arskt the laydy that werks at the Colchester Bear Adoptshun Senter. I'm afrayd she dident kno much abowt this either, an sed yor Mummy shud chek wiv the airport befor yu go.

We Bears had a diskushon abowt it, an we think that so long as yor voyse box werks it shud be ok. But sum Bears hav them an don't need to yews them enymor, so they don't mayke a noyse. Well if this is the cayse wiv yu, it mite be a bit dayngeruss to go. I meen, if a big fat Customs fella x-rays yu an sez, "Hullo, wat's that bit in the middol?" an yu say (wiv the voyse box) "It's my voyse box!" he'll jus say, "Oh, okydokey then, off yu go."

But if he spots the voyse box an it duzzent werk, then yu carnt proov it's a voyse box, an he mite think yor smuggling in sum speshol choklit or hunny or sumthing, and go an operayte on yu jus so he can steel it!

It is all very frytenin, but I kno yu ar brayve as yu ar a Bear. An a Bob Bear, at that.
So enyway we agree that yu shud get yor Mummy to call the airport an arsk them abowt it. Jus to be shor.

Regardin passports, yes, evry travlin Bear shud hav wun. Heer's a pic ov mine:

I had to blot out sum detayles, ov corse, wat wiv bein a spy an all.

Don't worry abowt those X-rays, by the way. They tickol a bit, but they're ok.

I'm sorry I havent been abol to help yu mor. Perhaps, if eny ov my reeders kno abowt voyse boxes an airports, they cood let us kno-???

Oh, by the way, yes, my marigolds ar still doin well! Heer is a foto I jus took ov sum ov them for yu. It's the middol ov the nite heer, so the foto's a bit dark. Sorry bowt that.
Bye fer now!!!


Koobuss said...

Hi Bob,

I never heard of a problem like this before. Maybe if your friend wraps himself up in nice warm blankies he won't set the alarm off. Voyce boxes can't have that much metal. Can they?

Koobuss Kisses,

Merisi said...

I think a certificate from the "International Voice Box Institute, Bear Branch" would help.
Good luck and hello to your friend,
from an ex-Romana di Roma!

Asta said...

Hello Bob
What a dillema! I wouldn't twust those aiwepowt peeples vewy much..they stwip seawch and evewything..and I heawd they take all youw goodies away..I'm suwe if you had honey supply with you ,they would steel it..they took my MOmmi's pewfoome!
I'd be vewy vewy caweful!
You have a bootiful passpwowt..my sistew who is now in tewwiew heaven had one..I'll show you sometime
smoochie kisses

Asta said...

I fowgot to say the most impowtant thing..since you have youw passpowt, why don't you come to ouw pawtie in the house of the seven gables latew this omf..you can see the invitation on my site..I'd make suwe to intwoduce you to all my fwiendz
smoochie kisses

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Hi Bob! Me wud yike u tu mayk uhnuvuh moovee! U doh funnee!

A.Bananna said...

wow what a problem. I have no Idea because our bears do not have voice boxes in them. I would check with the airport too.

I cant believe how big your flowers are getting! My flowers died. I am not very good at gardening. maybe next year!! :)

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Crumbs, being a bear sure comes with some problems, doesn't it? I did take a grizzly bear back with me on a flight from Canada once, and he growled all the way there (maybe I shouldn't have packed him in my rucksack). He scared a few people, but the customs men weren't brave enough to open it up and confront him, so he was fine. Hope that helps a little..

Anonymous said...

Maybe he can bribe the customs people with chocolate peanuts.

mrsnesbitt said...

Think I would check with Citizens Advice Bearo! never seen any here in Yorkshire, but can imagine it going off "Ey up me Duck" lol!

Have a good d ay Bob.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


I s'poze it depends on how old the Bear is. I've never seen a nayked voyse box (wun wivowt a Bear rownd it) so I've no idea! But maybe the older wuns had mor metal bits in. Gosh I wunder if that corzes indigestgun...


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


ahh! That's a good idea! I wunder if they wud come up on Google...


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


I'm not serprized they stole yor Mummy's perfewm. My Mummy sumtimes wares it an I don't like it. Wen I hug her I come away smellin all sissyfied.

Awww... I'm sorry yor sister is in terrier heven. Mummy has a few close frends in cat heven. It maykes her sniffy sumtimes.

I wud lov to come to yor party! Will there be jelly an tryfol an choklit cayke?


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


feer not, I hav another video planned! Wa-heyy! It will hav lots ov Bears in it.

I'm still negoshyaytin their contrakts. Sum ov them expekt to payd an inordinaytely large amownt ov choklit peanuts, an it's jus not on.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


I'm sorry yor flowers died. I think mine will be ok until we get the ferst frost. Larst yeer they livd till a week befor Crismoss!

Maybe yu jus dident poo enuff on them, or maybe Bear poo is jus soopeerier. Wich it probly is, enyway, come to think ov it.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


Ooo! Ooo! I'll let Bob 2 kno.
Thanks fer this!


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


Funny yu shud say that. He emayled me today an sergestid the same thing. Hehehehe....grayte minds, eh?


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Mrs Nesbitt,

Ey up thar lass! Dat Sitizen Advice Bearo be a ruddy good idea an no mistayke! Now pass sum Whitby ginger cayke....


david mcmahon said...

The passport - that's just brilliant!

edmundnesbitt said...

Oh Bob Imummy said you had some information regarding a bear passport!
This is just what I need.
I didn't get to grandma's because of the bad weather, mummy wont drive in the snow after her incident a few years ago, so whilst I am at home keeping warm I am doing some research.

Have a good day!