WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Bear Hums

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: yes, layte nite ride fer petrol. I kwite like the layte-nite trips. They're eggsytin.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
  • Day Score: 7.45896/10
HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!
Wen yor plannin a good think, get yerself cumfterbol ferst, perhaps wiv a faythfol pair ov pants.


If yu ar a skoller ov Mr Winnie T Pooh (ooh! Look at that! He haz the sayme middol nayme as me. I wunder if weer relaytid...) yu will hav herd ov Bear Hums. Mr Pooh tendid to veer towards Hums that endid in things like "Tiddly-pom". Hence:

The mor it snows tiddly pom
The mor cold my toes tiddly pom
Are becoming.

This construkshun is a handy way ov coverin up things. Offen it covers up seekrit thorts, an espeshly seekrit thinkin. Like, wen yu don't want peepol to kno yor thinkin, let alone WAT yor thinkin. Heers another exampol, strate owt ov that epic, The House At Pooh Corner:

Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um.

An untraynd eevsdropper mite be led to think that this is the mutterins ov a nutter. AHA! Yu see? So if he wer a sooper-spy wiv an IQ like that skweeky bloke that goze rownd in a chare rytin books abowt the yewniverse, yood never serspekt it, wood yu? So ther yu ar, yu see. Ther is mor to a Bear Hum than meets the eer.

I prefer the mor modern classiks, bein as I am a modern, up-to-the-minit cosmo Bear. Wun ov my fayvrits is

Laaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaa-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaa
La-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He-eyyy Jooood.
Laaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaa-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaa
La-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He-eyyy Jooood.

Wich can be repeetid ad-in-fin-eye-tum. An offen is. Wun eevnin I was doin such intense seekrit thinkin that our naybers bangd on the wall.

Ware ar yor Bears now? Probly on the bed, or watchin telly, or sniffin owt a fresh pot plarnt. (Or, oviossly, in the pant dror, but that wud meen they're havin a well-ernd brayke from Deep Thinkin, an duzzent cownt.) Tip-toe over to ware they ar now, an see if yu can detekt a Hum. But don't interrupt: it cud well meen that they ar considerin wat to get yu fer Crismoss.

Bye fer now!

26 comments:

Molly and Taffy said...

Hello Bob

Yes you are so right about the hums, the singing variety, not the end result of Dad's going to the toylet!

I do hum myself when I am happy and excited.

Thanks ever so for popping over and signing my guest book, ever so good of you you know.

As a matter of interest what is Tesco's honey like, would it be worth my while popping over to my nearest branch and purchasing some? I at the moment purchase mine from Waitrose, dead posh honey it is too.

With kind regards

Edward.

Phytheas said...

Bob, um. How about tum tee tum tee tum tee tum, tum tee tum tee tum tum . . .

I do prefer Mr Pooh's tum though (Mr MacCartney's is a bit too cutting edge for me).

Phy

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Hullo Edward!

Our neerest Waitrose is in Suffolk so we don't go ther offen. Enyway Daddy has a loyalty card fer Tesco so I think he shud be LOYAL. Bears kno abowt loyal. Peepol not-a-bears arnt so gud at it an yu hav to keep a close eye on them, I've notist.

Enyway, I havent taystid Waitrose hunny, tho Daddy likes their ginger jam. Tesco hunny is yum! YUMMINY YUM! An I hyly recomend it. Hav yu tryd hunny on soda bred? Gosh, that's sumthing very speshol indeed.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Phyth,

Hey! I kno that hum! That's the Archers, that is! HAHAHAHA!

:@D

Ms. Creek said...

Humming is good for the soul! Take it from me, the music teacher!

I'm thankful for all my blog friends, on this fine Thanksgiving Day!

hugs to your mother!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ms Creek,

WOW! Yor a mewsik teecher? Can yu tell Mummy to play her clarinet agen? She hassent got it owt ov the cayse fer 6 yeers so I've never herd it! I want to heer it! Parently she yewst to do jazz...

Hugs bak!

:@}

Granny said...

Thank you for the comment. You make me laugh.

Asta said...

Bob
I haven't twied humming yet, but I've been known to muttew to myself..does that count???
Have a gweat day..we'we having Thanksgiving dinnew in a bit,yu,mmmmmmm
smoochie kisses,Asta

Dilly said...

Dilly not like Bear hums.
Bear hums giv Dilly hedake.
Mweah.

¬"

mrsnesbitt said...

bob...........................

wasgoing to say somethink dead good!

But forgot!


Anyway...(((((HUGS)))))

oh yes...................Wilma keeps taling Quigsley ou of the desk?????


I have found him up the stairs and n the bathroom carpet?????



anyideas??

(Haven't mentioned him yet on my blog, incase he isn't around much longer!)

Dilly said...

Bob ownly hum cos not kno werds.

Dilly said...

Mrs Nesbitt,
MWEAH!
Quigsley need barth!
¬"

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Granny,

I'm good at maykin Grannys larf.
My Granny larfs wenever I tolk to her. It duzzent matter wat I say, she jus larfs at me.

Wun time, wen I ferst got a hat, I rang her up an sed "Granny! I've got a hat!" I waz so eggsytid I fergot to say "hullo" ferst. I think I must hav mayde her jump becos she startid chokin that time.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Asta,

Oh yes, muttrin cownts. Try to mutter up an down. It will soon go into a hum.

Hope yu had a grayte dinner! Wat did yu hav fer puddin?

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Dilly,

It's not my folt yu'v got an antenner that piks up evry sownd fer 500 feet! Tern it off or stik another bow in it if my hums giv yu a hedake yu silly green thing yu!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Mrs Nesbitt,

Oh good Lord! Is he OK???
Wat duzz WIlma hav agenst him?
Oh boy.
My Grandad's poodel chews the eers off BEars. But a barth? Oh my, that IS torcher.
Is there no safe playce he can moov to?
If WIlma persists, maybe he shud be rehomed. Or rehome WIlma. This is seeriuss!

:@o

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Dilly!
Leest I sing the rite werds wen I do remember them! Not like yor vershon ov the CSI theem mewsik!

Dilly said...

MWEAH!

Wat Bob meen?

Dilly KNO CSI mewsik!

"Hoo be? Noo noo, noo noo! Hooo be? Noo noo, noo noo!"

Dreadnaught said...

Greetings Bob

Does this mean that all Bees are in the intelligence service as well?

Food for thought methinks!

Keep well

Don

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Hi Bob (and mummy and dilly and evryone else aswell), i've been bizzy werking an creatin' anstuff. Bein a bear of very little brain myself I love WTP and piglit, they are betteran CSI. Did you SEE that cockroach crawl outof that man's mouf the other nite? - I was eatin' toastnjam at the time. ack! blerk! (Parper Bear (DH) is King of the Remote otherwise we would be watchin somethin nice with needlework an bears in) but what's a girl to do?

Sandy Kessler said...

me too Hey Jude !!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Dreadnaught,

GOSH!

I had no idea!

This explanes wy they wer invaydin my howse erlier this yeer! The sneaky littol devils!

:@o

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Lynda,

I agree wiv yu. Absolootly. Unfortewnitly, wen Dilly sor that cockroach she jus got hungry. Thort weed switcht to a cookery program.

CSi's skustin. They always show the insides ov bodys, jus wen I'm munchin on my Hunny on toaste. I think they time it on perposs.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Sandy,

HEHEHE! Hav yu had that tewn on yor mind all day now? HEHEEHE! All together now-

Laa laa laa lalala laaaaa
lalala laaaaa
Heyyyyy Jooooodddd...

:@D

Spaulding T. and Teddy T. Bear said...

Ummm, Bob?! How doo u haf deep thots wifout fallin' asleep?! If we hummed to hide deep thots, our humms would go ... humm, humm, hummy hum hummmzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Oh, and Dilly, bestest way to sing wif The Who (the bestest reason to watch all CSIs) is wif a TB gitar or orgen, so u finish like The Whos doos -- smashing ur in-stro-mints on the heads of Mommies and Daddies! Mommy and Daddy like us doing that (NO, we really don't! Yes, they really do. No...paw plopped on my mouth so I can't finish -- hmow mee meelme mont.) Wow, Mommy just hummed without falling asleep!

Your Blogging Buddies,
Ted T. and Spauld. T.
PS Check out our pictures on the link wif our names! Santa and Sandy Paws live wif us, so we can tell em what we want whenever we think of sum-tin!

Stanley said...

Bob T!

I believe you just MAY be related to Winnie T Pooh. (Especially since you are such an aficionado on poo(h)).

You have opened up the world of bears to me in a way that I never thought possible. Bear culture is so complex. I'm glad you are my guide through this wild and woolly universe.

Goober love,
stanley