WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Onnistly I'm jus tryin to keep order rownd heer....

Yesterday's scores:

  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no, but roomer haz it weer goin layter. Wa-heyyy! I like goin layte at nite. Yu get mor room to ride the trolley.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 ha! Gotcha, Grayum! /10
  • Day Score:6.29837 dew to anarkistic tendancies from gests /10
  • Advent Calendar pikcher: Man wiv wings an long yellow hair wayvin his arms abowt

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well! Sumtimes I jus don't kno wat to do! Yu invite folk into yor howse, yu all get into a rooteen, an then they jus start taykin libertees!

I speek, ov corse, ov The Windosill Bear Familee. Heer they ar:

This famlee ov Bears cayme to stay wiv us a few yeers ago. I sor a notiss in the payper abowt them. They livd in a playse calld Kleenex an wantid to come an stay in a howse wiv windosills. There wer foto's ov them on a windosill, lookin owt.

On our frunt windosill: Windosill Bears like sittin on windosills an yu will offen see them praktissin their Syncronized Sittin there.

Well, I sayved up an sent them their bus fare an put my address on a coopon so they'd kno wat number bus to get. Wun day they ternd up an sed, "Hullo! Weer the Windosill Bears!" an I invited them in. They cayme wiv tisshoos for ishooin (wich they handid over to me, as Offishol Howse Tishoo-Ishooer) an a booklet wiv lots ov foto's in, inkloodin mor ov them sitting on windosills.

I showed them sum ov our windosills an expektid that they wud settol in ok, speshly as most ov ours ar mayde ov wood wich is far warmer on the bum-beads than tile.

Wooden windosills ar warmer on the bum-beeds.

But they wantid to stay down on the carpet an frolic. Soon they wer frolickin evryware! In the kitchen, in the pant dror, they eevn slid up an down the bannister. So in the end I sed look, yor Windosill Bears! an I eskortid them bak.

Daddy sed I waz bein a tad harsh. But that's their role! Yu carnt jus abandun yor role! Wat if I suddenly sed, "Oh, do yu kno, I don't think I'll be a spy enymor, I think I'll tayke up wallpapering insted!"???? Yu see? It wud leed to kayoss an anarky an an an too menny Bears in the pant dror, that's wat. Rools ar rools.

They eevn hav an indor windosill for colder days.

But as I'm a reesonabol Bear, I sed they cud come down off the windosill on Tchewsdays an Therzdays.

Well! They keep tryin it on! They come down layte an then say, "Oh, Bob, we dident come down till 10 yesterday, so is it allrite if we stay still 10 today?" An it's not on! The rool is midnite to midnite! If yor layte it shud be hard luk! But Mummy an Daddy nag me into bein leenyent.

WELL! NOW we see wat bein leenyent leeds to, don't we!

Look at this! HOW exaktly is the bak ov the sofa a windosill?

Like the old sayin, "Giv a Bear an inch ov hunny an heel tayke the whole jar". A few instantses ov bein let off braykin the rool an look wat yu get. Anarky!

I blayme the time they smuggold themselves down to Granny's howse an spent 2 weeks on a shelf. As I sed at the time to her, "A shelf is not a windosill, Granny, eevn if a windowill is a shelf!"

They've been abowt today cos it's a "T" day, but I think they're plottin sumthing. Evry time I go parst, they stop tolkin, an look up an grin at me.

I don't kno wat's goin to happen at midnite, I reelly don't........

Bye fer now....

20 comments:

i beati said...

hahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhaha andy ibeati I am sick and you are cheering me you lovely Bear I'm wearing blue pants by the way ibeati sandy

San said...

It's a sad day when windowsill bears don't know their place. Up and down the banisters--anarchy indeed! And I wouldn't be at all surprised if they're plotting something sinister. Keep an eye on your chocolate, for sure.

A.Bananna said...

I was thinking the same thing san. but...then again...maybe they are plotting a surprise for bob. hm....watch your chocolate for sure!!

Asta said...

Bob
I'm sad to heaw of the windowsill beaws missbehavior..I agwee we can't haveanawchy and kaos wuling the land..I'd put a lock on the pants dwawew fow suwe...
awe you weady fow the pawty?????
smoochie kisses
Asta

Pope Terry said...

They sound sneaky Bob you should keep an eye on them. I think the would would be a lesser place if you where a wallpaperer

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Perhaps if you smeared hunny or jam on all the windowsills the bears would stick to it and stay put. I would check with Mummy first tho.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Oh Sandy, thank yu! They must hav helpt in our viktry agenst Crewe!

Wa-heyyy!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

San,

I'm glad to kno yu see it my way. Daddy sor my blog an sed he waz worreed that peepol wud say I'm too strikt. But I sed to him, rools ar rools, Daddy, like the rool abowt stirrin yer tea clockwise. I kno Mummy stirs it anyi-clokwise but it duzzent tayste the sayme then, duzz it? No. There yu ar, then.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Hmmm... a.bananna, yes.... I dident think ov that. I serpoze it cud be a nise serprize, wat wiv Crimbo comin an all. But that's no reezon to ignor the rools!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Asta,

I am pleesd that yu ar on my side too! An yes, I carnt wayte for the party! Can I bring Irish Soda Bred an Hunny? can I?

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,

Ah yes, but it wud be mor cheerful cos I'd yews wallpayper wiv pikchers ov Bears on it.

:@D

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Lynda,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then they'd get hunny on their bums!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ooo stikky bums!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But yes, I see wat yu meen. Maybe a smoll serpply ov choklit peanuts there or sumthing...

Good thinkin, batwooman!

:@}

Chalkhills Collective said...

Bob, they may just be feeling a little left out. After all both you and Dilly are famous in the blogsphere and perhaps they want a bit of their own action?

Chalky

Phytheas said...

I would think they're hunting out the chocolate. From what you say it looks like they're sweeping the house. Could you bug them?

Phy

Anonymous said...

Here did you learn english? Ever heard of spell check? What is this British Ebonics? Learn how to spell you idiot!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Anonymous,

"Here did you learn english?"

Yor sentence duzz not mayke sense, sir!

AND! As I say at the top ov my blog, I RITE MY BLOG IN BEAR ENGLISH!!!! An I spell English wiv a capital "E", too, unlike yu! So don't go callin ME the idiot! At leest we Bears hav a sense ov hewmer yu silly incognito pooey Not-A-Bear! Don't come rownd heer spreddin yor silly forrin synicysm!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chalky,

No!

NONONONONONONONONONONO!

I won't allow it!

Good greeeeeeeeeeef no!

:@o

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Phyth,

I'll bug them allrite! I'll keep on at them until oh! That's not wat yu mean. Hehehe! That's a gud idea, Phyth! I shall hav to bug the howse. I'll do it wen the not-a-bears ar in bed tonite. Good thinkin!

:@}

Stanley said...

Bob!

Word on the street is that you're coming to New York for Asta's St. Nicholas party. While you're gone, who will watch after those wiley windowsill bears? Hmmm?

I agree with Asta. Put a lock on the pant drawer and enlist your dad to help with surveillance. Be sure he knows the rules (and the punishment for daring to break them).

Goober love (and keep us posted),
Stanley

Mary said...

Those windowsill bears sure are trouble for you!