WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Heads-Together Pozishun

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes- Marge had plastik sergerry an got her boobies mayde extra large. I bet she had a happy Bear.
  • Tesco: HUH! Mummy went, an wuddent let me come jus cos I wantid to bring a pile ov pants wiv me. Then Daddy an me went to pik her up in the car, AND HE LEFT ME IN THE CAR IN THE CAR PARK. An then they expektid me to talk to them. Huh!
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10
  • Day Score: not much /10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Remember Mummy an Daddy both had colds a few weeks ago? Well since then sumthing very curriuss haz happend...... Mummy haz gon off choklit. Let me put that anuther way, wun that mor suits the gravity ov the sitchewayshun. An I don't meen gravity az in appols fallin off trees. I meen gravity az in the north and south poles switchin pozishuns or the molten hot spluttery cor ov the planet suddenly ternin into ice creem, not jus vannilla ice creem either, but Rocky Road Deluxe flavur wiv extra nuts:

Ahhh well. Wayste not wont not! Heheheheh! Me an the uther Bears disydid to remoov the stuff from her surroundins. Weer very helpfull, us Bears. Wuddent want her to suddenly try a bit an not like it (wat a wayste). So we scofft the lot.

Unfortewnitly it waz a bit bigger than our tummys, wich went into a weird gurgly state an we had to adopt the Heads-Together Pozishun:

This is the pozishun Bears adopt (yewzly arfter large picnics) wen there is tummy-gurglin an daynger ov farts. In this pozishun yu can carry on wiv conversayshuns an jokes an stuff but not smell it wen a Bear haz to let go.

(It's still possibol yu mite smell yor own. But that's ok. Farts ar like kids in that regard. Evrywun knoze they're horribol but yu seekritly kwite like yor own.)

HEHEHEHEHEE!

Bye fer now!

19 comments:

Ms. Creek said...

Oh bob, you are a little pre-occupied with farts!

I don't know if i could give up chocolate or not! good job, mummy!

BumbleVee said...

hmmm.... gone off it due to the taste buds not cooperating after the cold or what? .... not as in dieting is it?
No, no, no...that's not necessary. Just walk a bit more and enjoy only a few squares (not the whole bar) and all will be well...

Helena said...

Oh Bumblevee, I already tried that! LOL! But I have middle-age frumpdom! I only go in 2inches in the middle! I'm a lump!

Anyway, no, it isn't a diet. It was always the one thing I couldn't give up! I think it's to do with migraines- I had never had them but have had about 4 since that cold. My other half had a headache with the cold, but mine went into full-blown migraine, bad eye pain in the light, nausea, the lot!

They must be virus related. Anyway, I couldn't face chocolate while I had them- good job as I'm told it makes them worse! That feeling just seems to have lasted.

Hullo Ms Creek! It will be a good side effect if it lasts, huh?

:^)

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Mummy!

This is MY space!

MY messidges!

Helena said...

Hullo Bob!

Have you put that pile of pants away yet? You do know that Daddy used the last pair out of the drawer this morning, don't you?

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!
Yor embarrassin me!

Enyway Daddy diserves to go wivowt pants arfter abandonin me larst nite.

Daddy said...

That's true. And it seems frankly weird to go to work in Christmassy pants at this time of year. I just hope the waistband on my trousers didn't slip down at all.

Julie said...

Hello Bob. Is this a pryvit conversayshun or can anyone join in? Hehehe!
If you get too much choklit I have some bears here who like it. I hope Mummy's migraynes stop now she dusn't like choklit enymore.

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Hi Bob! Me mawmaw yikez chokwit butt dee dont eet it much cuz it maykz huh fat doh dee dwinkz kawfee. Mee yike chokwit chipz butt dee dont bi dem no mow eevow!

Mee do gwad u waow yo kowboy hat in duh kaw it wookz doh doot on u!

Wuv,
Chuck

CHEWY said...

All this talk of chocolate is making my craving aroused! (that's not nasty talk)

No Cool Story said...

Seriously Bob, I had no idea bears did so many interesting things.

I embarrass my kids all the time ;) You'll get used to it.

Stanley said...

Bob!

I can understand why you would adopt the "Heads-Together Position" if you were of the mind that farts smelled BAD. But for us dogs, the whole point of a fart is that we get to SHARE IT! As you know, we LOVE FARTS of all kinds, and it's no secret either!

How sad your mama's life is going to be without chocolate. Did she join a cult or something? Is that why she's gone off of chocolate? Please send her goob smooches from me. They will help her resist the evil chocolate (if that's really what she wants to do).

Goober love & smooches,
Stanley

Stardust said...

Oh bob,

Dat's norty, but... I lyke de wey yu ar. Maybe yu'd lyke to save mummy sum chocklit?

Hi Helena,

I hope that you and yours get better soon, and that the mysterious pain doesn't go to bob and dilly! Have a nice weekend.

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Parper Bear likes chocolate - so THAT'S what's causing the trouser coffs, is it?!
The fairies take mine away during the night, you know.

i beati said...

How noble of you to help Mummy like that and consume the spare choklit as for that position what goes around come around in that photo - get my drift
>??hahaha

Ms. Creek said...

I HAVE FRUMPDOM LUMPS ALL OVER! LOL that is too funny!

Ms. Creek said...

bob,
does your mum nag nag nag too much (like when you were trying to plant your sunflower seeds)?

david mcmahon said...

Mummy has gone off WHAT?!!!!

CHOKLIT!!!

Talk her out of it, quick.

Alex L said...

Very true bob, theres always a certain enjoyment to your own aroma. Good luck to mum with her giving up the choccies.