WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Monday, March 02, 2009

Granny's howse, for cayke, cats, Unkol Roy, Mexico an oodols ov poo!!!!!

Weekend's scores:
  • Gills: yes, ma an Daddy went to see them play Bournemouth (full nayme: Born mouthy scum) an we thrasht them 1 - nil!!! Hurray!!!
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: yes
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 360 - all the Bears at Granny's howse had compleetly forgotten all abowt this gayme so I waz abol to catch them all an apply eech an evry speshol rool /10
  • Overall Score: 8.2/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

This is a Bear pikcher that Mummy drew for me today, cos I sed she had been doin lots ov sissy stuff, an wy dident she do mor Bear stuff? I think it's brill. But Mummy wants me to tell yu that she "ownly coppeed it from a book." D'oh!

I waz goin to blog on Saterday but we went to Granny's an I had a lie-in befor we went, so I dident get hav time to do it. I did heer the uthers get up, well sort ov. I SORT OV herd them, I jus thort it waz hapnin in my dreem. Duz that happen to yu?

At Granny's, we met up wiv Unkol Roy, hoo is Mummy's littol bruther. Well, she calls him her littol brother but he is 6 feet tall and she issent. But she sez, he is still littol to her cos she yewst to push him arownd in a pram.
We wantid to meet up wiv Unkol Roy cos he waz off to Mexico!!!!
It's troo. He left at 6am yestaday to fly to Mexico City. He haz a gerlfrend now hoo comes from thare, an he is goin to liv wiv her famly an werk thare teechin English.

I gayve him a big hug. My hugs hav an odd affekt on Unkol Roy. He trys to duk into his jumper an avoyde me. But I just linger arownd his showlder an wayte fer him to come owt. He carnt stay in thare forever or heel suffercayte. So I get him in the end! Huzarr!!! Hehehee.

This is Unkol Roy leevin for Mexico at 6 on Sunday mornin an lookin not at all scared.

This is Granny wiv Unkol Roy. She is standin on a step an he is bendin his neez. Utherwize yu wud never be abol to get them in the sayme foto. Grannys ownly come in minacher, yu see.

Becos he went so errly, arfter he had gon, we all went bak to bed!!!

Heer ar the cats in their new beds, wich Mummy gayve them as an errly berfday present (they will be 16 on the 23rd.)

Mr Scooter an Fluffy.Mr Scooter.

So we throt Sunday wud be a layzee day arfter that. But it wassent!!!

Oh boy!!! It waz soooo funny!!! I neerly berst my beads!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thare is a man-hole cover in Granny's garden, and Granny cayme in an sed, "I think sumthing narsty is comin up rownd that man-hole cover." So we awl went to the bak dor an had a look. An shor enuff, thare waz sumthing VERY narsty! So we had to get a number from the Yello Paiges for a speshol poo-pipe engineer to come owt an look.

Wen he got thare, he liftid the man-hole cover AN IT WAZ FULL OV POOEY STUFF!!! HEHEHEHEEEEEEEEE!

He had to open up uther man-hole cuvers, too, and get a long pole and stir it (an I dident eevn kno peepol did that for a job - I thort scattology waz just a hobby). Then he got a long hoze an sprayed lots ov warter throo a hi presher thingy an it all washt away. He had to go next dor an look at their poo too. WOW! Wat a grayte job!

In the end he sed that sumwun in the street had put things they shuddent down the toylet. He fownd plastik bags an eevn a garden trowl down thare. (My God- how constipaytid wer they that they needid a garden trowl????)

It awl got cleend an sortid in the end, but he charged £206. All the grown-ups agreed that, altho yu cud hav bort a lot ov cayke an uther nice stuff wiv that mutch, it waz still a bit less than they expektiod so it waz OK.

I am just dayzed that yu can get to ware a speshol soote, drive yor own van, inspekt uther peepol's poo, AN get payd for it!!!!!! Wow, Unkol Roy, look at the fun yu mist!!!

11 comments:

CherryPie said...

I had that happen to me once and they found it was blocked with nappies from next door!

Julie said...

Wow! What a ecksitin weekend! Your Granny looks lovely and it's true, granny do only come in small sizes. I hope you didn't lose Dilly in all that poo!

Mummy's drawing is really good. She should give herself a pat on the back :o)

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Well, wot an excitin time yuve been havin wiv orl that poo. Glad the Poobusters were able to sort it.
Great drorin by Mummy. Hugs 2 you all.

Joe Stains said...

omdog so much went on this weekend for you buddy! I hope your Uncle has fun in Mexico city and eats about 300 tacos. well, if he does that then he just may need that garden trowl in the poo pipes, ya know!? If I could get a job I would totally be a poo stirring dude.

mrsnesbitt said...

Hey Bob! I have a former pupil who runs a golf course in Mexico. He will be so pleased to give some hospitality to a guy from UK! Give me a shout!

Dxx

Alex L said...

A trowel... holy crap, that must have been quite a blockage.

Stardust said...

Mummy's drawin is reeaaallly goood!

I dun't mind a small granny, if she has a big hart. =)

Gee, isn't yur uncol very handsom.

Sandy Kessler said...

wonderful cat ages . I have one that age too.

Mummy's picture is great ..

Stanley said...

If only Unkel Roy would have gone to you for employment counseling... Aw, well. He'll know better from now on.

Can't believe you missed a chance to take a photo of all that public poo! Sounds pretty nasty.

Thanks for sharing, Bob! Glad you got to give Unkel Roy the smoocharooni and the hug you wanted him to take to Mexico!

Goober love,
Stanley

Ms. Creek said...

lmao, i never know what to expect when i read your blog!

first, your mummy's sketch is great, even if it is from looking at another pic, she has great talent. second...Mr. Scooter looks JUST like my naughty little TT! 3rd i just don't even know what to say about your uncke and the poo topic! lol

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Cherrypie,

Yeah, thare wer sum nappy-type splodges, too :@}


Julie,

I gayve her a pat for yu. Tho she did think I waz jus sneekin up on her an slipt.


Lynda,

Poobusters. I like that! Hooya gonna call? Poobusters!!!!


Joe,

He had tacos Saterday nite, too, jus to get in the mood!!! I agree wiv yor career ambishuns!


Mrs N,

I'll find owt exakly whare heez stayin, an I'll let yu kno!!!! Thanks!! Eny frend ov yors must be gratye. I luv my new hat!!!


Alex L,

Yu think it waz God's trowel?


Stardust,

Unkol ROy haz bloo eyes, too. I menshun it cos apparently yu gerl types like that sorta thing ;@}

Granny duzz hav a bug hart. She haz a big biskit tin too.


Stanley,

Do yu kno, I waz so enthrold wiv it all, it bein sooooo intrestin, I compleetly fergot abowt the fottograffik possabilitys. Rats!!!!


Sandy,

Mummy sez that in hewman yeers they wud be over 90. Fluffy haz startid to look an act old jus theez larst few months. Her fur haz gon all notty. I had glossy ferr wen I waz yung, yu kno, so I kno how she feels.


Ms Creek,

I'm glad I mayde yu larff yor A off :@} now be careful wen yu sit down.