WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

The Pant Forecast is good...

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: Yes! Colchester playd Gillingham an we won on penaltees. For gerls, an enywun else hoo duzzent understand football, this meens that the uther team wer cheetin (utherwise we wud hav wun allreddy) an so arfter the end ov the gayme we eech had a charnce to scor a goal just by kikkin strate at it, an we mannidged to do it mor offen than them cos they ar rubbish. Wa-hey!
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: Well the uther Bears rekkon they got me but I think they were doin "Pinch-an-a-punch, first day of the munth!" They rekkon they combined it wiv a nose hug by pinchin an punchin my nose but hoo sed yu can combine 2 gaymes? Yu carnt combine 2 gaymes!!! Wat if yu wer playin chess an then switchd to Monopoly an bilt howses on all the carsols? How wud that werk? See?
  • Overall Score: 8.13692/10

Hav a look at wat Buttons emayled me! It's a news report abowt UNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!

Apparently men hav stopt buyin eny for now, but ar expektid to start buyin them agen soon, an so this meens that the "Reesesshun" is neerly over. This is cos men kno that pants can be almost immortal, an that buyin new wuns is a luxury. Tharefor, if men ar goin to suddenly start buyin sum agen, this meens that things ar lookin up economickly cos men ar buyin luxurees.

Yu see, Men arnt like laydeez wen it comes to pants....

The uther week, Mummy throo away lots ov soks an pants jus cos they had holes in them. She sed she had worn them for long enuff an so she went owt an bort lots ov new wuns. She endid up spendin £20 on soks an pants. Me an Daddy wer thare. She sed to the laydy in the shop, "Now, yu wud never see a man spend that mutch on pants, wud yu?" an the laydy agreed, as tho it was a bad thing! Ha!

Yu see, laydeez don't kno abowt gettin the most owt ov a good pant.

Ferst, thare is the 4-Sides Rool ov waring them:
  • day 1- rite way rownd, rite side owt;
  • day 2- back-to-frunt, rite side owt;
  • day 3- rite way rownd, inside owt;
  • day 4- rong way rownd, inside owt.

Not knowin this meens that allreddy laydeez need 4 times as menny pants as men do.

Then thare is the thing abowt holes. Sum Daddy pants hav holes in them, yewszerly arown the bottom area. If a hole appeers in a Mummy pant, she thinks ov it as a bad thing an the pant in kwestyun is rellegaytid to the "ownly if the uthers ar all in the wash" dror. But a Daddy wud appreeshyate that the hole is a bonus. Like brakin in yer shooz, that's all. Arfter all, if yu need to scratch yor bottom (as Daddys offen do, speshly wen they ar doin deep thinking) then wat better to hav a littol windo to slip yer finger throo? YU SEE??? Wy ever wud he want to thro them away, wen they hav ownly just reecht thare troo level ov helpful conveenience?

Hehehee. Well, thanks, Buttons, for alertin me to this report.

We had a good few days at Granny's. We went to a playce for tea whare they had peacocks an lots ov gardens. We did sum fotoes an I will post them tomorro befor we go off to the New Forrest on Friday. Oh! An I need to do sumthing abowt the grayte awards I waz given the uther day too! I'm a bizzy Bear!


Julie said...

Toooo much infomayshun on the scratchin front (or back) Bob but my DH nows just wot you meen!

CherryPie said...

Lots of gardens??? I am jealous!!!

Feronia said...

Waaay too much information, Bob, but I think you are onto some universal rules of male pant wearing here - my dad says much the same thing!

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Bob, you are very informational. Although, I don't wear pants. I will keep all this information in mind if I ever wear human pants.

Anonymous said...

I buy my pants in packs of 3, a real deal. It's the um... ladies upper undergarments (giggle) which are very expensive.

Lynda (Granny K) said...

I think Chewy means upperdeckerflapperstoppers!

Why is it that the older you get, the bigger your pants are? (one of life's mysteries, I s'pose).

Have a great time in the New Forest. No pickin' shrooms mind!

Anonymous said...

Granny K,

LOL! Yes, that's what I mean.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Hehehe! Yu meen Laydy-Bump-Pants!!!!

Joe Stains said...

who knew there was so much information available on PANTS!

Anonymous said...

Oh, oh, oh... DUH! - I understand now. - Lady-BUMP-Pants.