Mr Scooter's gon gunky.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: We got a 0-0 not-a-loos wiv Yeovil (full nayme: Mangle-wurzling Yokull Scum)
• Simpsons: harf an episode. Mummy issent a good button-pusher.
• Tesco: yes, went wiv Mummy an Granny to get dinner. Tryd to steer the trolley down the Easter Egg ile agen, hopet to get anuther ov thoze littol Malteezer Bunnys. They're fab. But Mummy's willpower was stronger than yewzul. She must be feelin fat agen.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 8 that darsterdly Alien jumpt owt ov the cubberd under the stairs at me. Yep, he sneekt along. /10
• Overall Score: 7.639/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

We ar goin to hav to stay at Granny's an extra nite becos ov Mr Scooter.

Mr Scooter got into a fite wiv Tiggy- an lost.
Heez got a bald patch behind his ear, an a cuppol ov holes thare. Mummy issent shor yet if it waz clors or teef that did the dammidge.

She washt it all up an put on sum creem that smelt like the Dentist's.

A few hours layter, she chekt it agen an washt it.
This time it had startid to swell so she just nudged it gently an WOW! Loads ov GUNK cayme owt.

She washt an washt it an still mor stuff cayme owt. It waz gusting an fassinaytin. I wantid to hav a go at skweezin it but she sed I wassent allowd. It did look kwite satisfying- it lookt awl gon, then yu skwoze it agen an mor cayme owt. It waz PINK! Haha see thare, Dilly? The gunk waz pink. Mummy sed it waz a mix ov blud an pus. It went on a bit. I got bored an went for a sandwich. Wen I cayme bak, Mr Scooter had gon to bed.

Mr Scooter, on the sofa, pre-battle.

Mummy will desyde tomorro wether Mr Scooter needs to go to the V-E-T.
Sumtimes cats need medsins calld anti-by-ottics for gunky pus stuff. But uther times, if it's cleen an duzzent heel too farst, it can be OK.
Mr Scooter ways neerly 17 pownds an Granny carnt carry him in his carry-box becos she is too small an has old bones. So we hav to stay just in cayse.

They ar both in bed now. -Granny upstairs an Mr Scooter downstairs in his cuddly car.
Mummy is very tyerd an Daddy is asleep in the armchare wiv his hed lolling abowt like a bladder on a stik. It waz a stressful Valentine's Day reelly.

Fassinaytin stuff tho. Arnt bodys clever, prodewsin all that stuff owt ov noware? Fassinaytin. I told Dilly that I cud understand her obseshun wiv bein a nerse, but she sed I was gustin an that the pus stuff wassent wun ov the best bits ov nersing! How can that be?

Wish I'd had a go. I reelly do.

Bye fer now!