WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Mouse Diets

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no- but mummy sneaked off without me
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
  • Day Score: 7/10
  • Advent Calender Pikcher: Sheeps an a brown dog

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

As yu may remember me saying many pant-wash-days ago, we hav a mouse who lives under the kitchen floor. (We probly hav dozens ov them but mummy talks to it like it's the same wun every time so we humour her.) This is how we discovered "him":-

Each night, mummy wood get the broom an sweep all the crumbs off the kitchen floor into a corner. Then, every cuppol ov days, she wood sweep them all up from the corner wiv a smaller broom, an clean der floor.

Wun day, wen she went to clear up the crumbs from the corner, they weren't there, so she thort that daddy must hav cleared them up already. Day arfter day they disappeared from the corner and she went on thinking, "Oh good, daddy's clearing them up." Until wun day, she sed to him, "By the way, thank yu for clearing up those crumbs." This is where Daddy missed a brilliant opportunity. Because, insted ov pertending that he had been doing house-cleaning, he sed, "Wat? Wat crumbs?" DONG!

That same evening, mummy spotted the mouse, sneaking past the door of her study. Ever since then, she has deliberately left som bits of food in the corner for the mouse.

At first, it was just crumbs. But soon she began an experiment to see wat a mouse likes to eat. She SAYS it's so we'll know wat to put in the trap. Huh! (Don't worry- it's a humane trap. Me an daddy have caught 4 wiv it and released them into the woods).

Here are som results ov her "What will the mouse eat?" experiment so far:

  • bread- yes
  • biskits- yes
  • lettuce- yes
  • tomato- sometimes
  • mushrooms- definitely not, never
  • aubergine- yes, speshally wen was part ov a Moussaka; good job the mouse can't spell
  • cucumber- yes
  • apple-yes
  • pine nuts- yes
  • walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts,- yes
  • peanut butter- yes
  • oats- yes
  • that stale cereal that no-one's eaten in a year- yes
  • choklit- yes
  • choklit peanuts (damn cheek! So that's where they went!)- yes, a favrit
  • plain peanuts- yes, if not salty
  • banarnana- yes
  • the topping from last night's baked fish, made from onions, cheese, tomato, fennel- yes

So yu see, apart from mushrooms, he's a greedy littol so-an-so an a very cheeky lodger.

Bye fer now!

4 comments:

Margaret said...

Hmmm a very varied diet, and probably the best fed [wild] [ish] mouse ever. I doubt that some pet mice aren't looked after so well, and this one has the freedom of the house! Well, the kitchen anyway.

Margaret

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

He eats mor than me an Dilly put together. Mind yu, Dilly's diet is disgusting.

Teddy and Spaulding said...

Three years ago, we heard mice constructing a high rise in our wall. We knew it was mice, because they (you can't pretend it is just one, if they come in different colors and show up with a buddy) came out to stare at us, and wander around looking for crumbs.

Well, we went for humane traps, at first, and three mice became our first tennents in our fort, down in our Teddy Bear Park. Many more preferred our home.

Since then, we have seen three new generations of the colony. Baby mice aren't beary sneaky. We cannot figure out how such dumb animals survive to become grown ups, but they do.

Things we have learned:
1.) Humane traps are an open invitation for any mice within a five mile radius, to move into your home.

2.) You cannot train mice to use the bathroom.

3.) Mice are smarter then mouse traps.

4.) The longer you are nice to them, the longer they continue to colonize your home.

5.) Mice like wars in false ceilings, and these wars are NOT quiet.

6.) Mice do not use bathrooms, but they do consider counters bathrooms.

7.) Since Mommy and Daddy finally put special mouse food behind our trash can, there are finally less and less mice in our home. (Mommy and Daddy won't tell us what the special food is, and won't let us give any to our mice guest in our special hotel -- in Teddy Bear World -- for displaced, lost or wayward stuffied animals and small city animals.)

8.) Mommy and Daddy don't like humane traps anymore, which is strange, since they didn't work often.

9.) They also like dried pasta.

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

I've put sum dried pasta down tonight as I want to see this! Heehehehehe!!!!
I wonder wat yor parronts' speshol food was?
As fer mouse fights, I havent herd fights, but I've heard them grinding their teeth on our floor joists, between the bedroom upstairs and the lounge downstairs... I do hope I'm not on the sofa wen the seeling falls down as that's right beneath where I hear it...