- Gills: no
- Simpsons: yes
- Tesco: no- but mummy sneaked off without me
- Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
- Day Score: 7/10
- Advent Calender Pikcher: Sheeps an a brown dog
As yu may remember me saying many pant-wash-days ago, we hav a mouse who lives under the kitchen floor. (We probly hav dozens ov them but mummy talks to it like it's the same wun every time so we humour her.) This is how we discovered "him":-
Each night, mummy wood get the broom an sweep all the crumbs off the kitchen floor into a corner. Then, every cuppol ov days, she wood sweep them all up from the corner wiv a smaller broom, an clean der floor.
Wun day, wen she went to clear up the crumbs from the corner, they weren't there, so she thort that daddy must hav cleared them up already. Day arfter day they disappeared from the corner and she went on thinking, "Oh good, daddy's clearing them up." Until wun day, she sed to him, "By the way, thank yu for clearing up those crumbs." This is where Daddy missed a brilliant opportunity. Because, insted ov pertending that he had been doing house-cleaning, he sed, "Wat? Wat crumbs?" DONG!
That same evening, mummy spotted the mouse, sneaking past the door of her study. Ever since then, she has deliberately left som bits of food in the corner for the mouse.
At first, it was just crumbs. But soon she began an experiment to see wat a mouse likes to eat. She SAYS it's so we'll know wat to put in the trap. Huh! (Don't worry- it's a humane trap. Me an daddy have caught 4 wiv it and released them into the woods).
Here are som results ov her "What will the mouse eat?" experiment so far:
- bread- yes
- biskits- yes
- lettuce- yes
- tomato- sometimes
- mushrooms- definitely not, never
- aubergine- yes, speshally wen was part ov a Moussaka; good job the mouse can't spell
- cucumber- yes
- pine nuts- yes
- walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts,- yes
- peanut butter- yes
- oats- yes
- that stale cereal that no-one's eaten in a year- yes
- choklit- yes
- choklit peanuts (damn cheek! So that's where they went!)- yes, a favrit
- plain peanuts- yes, if not salty
- banarnana- yes
- the topping from last night's baked fish, made from onions, cheese, tomato, fennel- yes
So yu see, apart from mushrooms, he's a greedy littol so-an-so an a very cheeky lodger.
Bye fer now!