WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Monday, April 30, 2007

HELP NEEDED: take part in my survey


HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

As yu can see, the countdown to my berfday has begun. And next Monday, I shall add to the sellybrayshons still further by removing my Lucky Kit via a daring darnce, an wear ownly my berfday suit fer the rest of the day. Wa-heyyy!!!!!!!!!!
But that's next week. For now, there is werk to be dun....

I need yor help wiv sum important research.

Mummy saw this cartoon in the paper on Saturday:
Wen she saw it, she commentid on how unrealistic it was, as "yu jus don't do that."
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At ferst, I thort she ment that yu don't go to the toilet. Shorly not! -She poos at leest 5 times a day, mostly becos she eets stuff she shuddent, like shugar.
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Enyway. "Pray, wat can yu mean, dear matre?" I arskt, or werds to that effect.
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"Yu don't pull yor knickers right down to yor ankles like that!" she replyd.
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Huh???????
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Then Daddy came in the room an so I arskt him if this wer so. He was as confewsd as me, an wantid to know wat she DID do wiv her knickers whilst..... ahem.... yewsing the smallest room.
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"Well, I just pull them down as far as my knees. Or sumtimes not even that far!" was her expanashun.
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Well, me and Daddy are, frankly, shocked. WHO was responsible for her potty training? But she insists, SHE is the normal wun.
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An so it's over to yu, folks. This is where the SURVEY bit comes in. Please tell me where yu stand on this.
Or rather, sit.
During.
Yu know wat I mean.
Let me know in the Comments arfter this post:
Do yu pull yors right down to the ankle, or leave them precariously up on the knee?
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The mor delicate among yu may arnswer with simply "ANKLES" or "KNEES".
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Please do take part. This is important research.
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Bye fer now!

23 comments:

Meanie the baby dragon said...

me don hav panteeez, me just pooz!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

WAT?

Non at all???

Duzzent that get a bit drafty?

(yu mean yu jus poo... evrywhere... like a bunny????)

:@}

Meanie the baby dragon said...

no me twaind tu poo in duh potty. me onwee poo wunz a mumph.

me waow koztumz dumdimez butt me don waow kwoz much.

whoo iz dilly? Kum on ova wiff dilly an we kan aw danz tu duh banjo muzik! k?

Chewy said...

Knees for me and I hover over public toilets.

Who leaves toilet paper on the floor?

My roommate also had a bunny! Bunnies leave little presents all over.

Phytheas said...

There're no pants on me Bob.

Phy

Chalkhills Collective said...

I'm a knee type of person and I hover too.

Chalky

A wildlife gardener said...

hahahahaha, that's a funny post!knees for me too, b.t. bear!

Mousie said...

knee of course...I'm an old Mousie...I can't bent to the floor to get my pants!!!you are so young dear friend...don't realize what old age is!!!thanks for your visit sweetheart...always a pleasure to welcome you...love to all
Mousie

Gage The Bunny said...

Hi Bob,

Well, I'm a non-pants wearing bunny, so that answers that for me. :)

I asked Wendy, my human companion, and she said "neither", and apparently she falls into the "no panteeez" category with Meanie (though she said she doesn't just poo everywhere either. And, um... you are greatly misinformed about bunny bathroom habits, by the way. At least this bunny's habits).

Anyway, I had no idea my companion was THAT kind of girl. I guess you learn something every day. (shrug)

It'll be interesting to see all the responses to your informal survey. Good luck!

- Gage the Bunny

Monkey said...

I just poo anywhere I want to, much to the annoyance of my housemates. However, the woman says "knees" and in public she "hovers".

What the??

Deb said...

knees, I squat in public toilets.

RUTH said...

How exciting that it's nearly your birthday. In answer to your question...neez

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Much as I'd like to help you out here 'lil BT, truth is I haven't worn a pair of knickers since I left home.. Wheyheyyy!

(Note to parents: A strict upbringing seldom works.)

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

MEANIE! YOU ONLY POO ONCE A MONTH????????

This explains your accent.

Dilly is my sister, a croco-dragon. She'd like to come over an play wiv yu an Boo.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chewy,

Kwite agree. Speshally in this house. If yu left the toilet roll on the floor the mice wud probly make a nest in it.


Pytheas,

Wa-heyyyy, Naked Bear!!!!!!!! But I hope yu still get access to sum pants. There's nuthin kwite like a good frolic in the pant drawer.


Chalky,

I'm in awe of all these peepol hoo say they HOVER over the loo.
Dilly hovers, just as a kind of hobby.
If she sees yu all putting the two things together, I fear she might start to wee on my head.


Wildlife Gardener,

Wat! No one is voting knees???? Seems my daddy is the weird wun. Funny, I was counting on it being Mummy.


Mousie,

Ah, well, if old bones are the reason, then that is understandable. But as fer the rest of yu....


Gage,

Wa-heyyy, Gage The No-Pant Bunny! I see lots of bunnys hop along near the road wen we go Out And About. Yewsually I just see a flash of white on their bums. I had hoped that it was a flash of crisp, white Sloggis. But it seems it must hav been tails. Sigh.....


Monkey!

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA shud hav guessed! (Wat about Calzone? Bet he sprays it.)


Deb,

Yu squat in public toilets?
Yu SQUAT?
Wat the?


Ruth,

Ah yes, I'm lookin forward to the festivitys. THank yu.
An you're knees too, I see. Hmm...


Shrink-Wrapped,

No pants????
Duzz this mean yu don't hav eny, or just that yu hav a very enthewsiastic small Bear hoo has nicked them all fer a dam good frolicking? If the latter, then I Throw My Arms Up At Him.
If the former, then reconsider, as small Bored Pant-Deprived Bears can become "Difficult". Let's say no mor about it.


Thank you all for partisipaytin in my survey.

Bob :@}

YesBut said...

Only go once a year. That's why my blog is so full of ****.
1/2 way or down? When I do go I usually - it depends on which direction the wind is blowing.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

YesBut,

Yu need to eat mor choklit. Mummy duzz, an it keeps her to 5 times a day. This is wy we hav a downstairs loo. In fact, the wun upstairs is broken.

Daddy, on the other hand, is about as regular as yu, an we hav to close off the street wen he duzz.

Bob :@}

margaret said...

Just above the knee for me, Bob.

Teddy T. and Spaulding T. Bear said...

Large family here, but we asked everyone ('cept Daddy, who was unavailable for questioning)!

Below is the name, kind of animal, and pooing habits:
Mommy - Peoples - Calves! (We asked, but she wouldn't go into more details, 'cept to say. "most Peoples have calves below their knees and above their ankles, so I'm not talking about baby cows."
(And you think your Mommy is strange?! kehehehe)

Spaulding, Teddy T., Ding, an Tine - Teddy Bears - We need our stuffing, so we don't poo, or Pooh!

Pez - our pet Pez dispenser, but still a Teddy Bear - no knickers at all, however, when it is time to rid myself of what is inside, usually someone pulls my head back, and bites a small piece of candy from my Adam's Apple. Does that count?

Axlerod, Lady, and Dee -- stuffed doggies. Ax s'plained, "We all have pants, but two out of three of us have pants with the Abearican meaning -- trousers! Dee has knickers (and I'm making her blush.) We, too, prefer to keep our stuffing in, so don't poo. Rather kills the whole concept of protesting against Charmin', doesn't it?"

Valentine - stuffed bunny rabbit, and Tee, stuffed kitty cat -- We go into the woods, and use a tree, but don't tell anyone else in our family! We just have the need to scratch sometimes. Ummm, we do wear trousers, but prefer el naturale!"

Oh, and, as for Chewy's question, Soooooorrrry! It was an accident!

We hope that we have helped in your investigation. And, umm, how old are you gonna be?

phaseoutgirl said...

hmmm.. wot an interesting survey! knees for me, by the way...

and yes, public toilets I use only when desperate...

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Margaret

thanks! I'll add yu to the number of peeps hoo do as Mummy duzz....

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Teddy & Spaulding,

I am kwite worried about the number of yu hoo don't poo!!!!
Shorly if sumwun duzzent poo they'll go POP! (or rather, pht...phhhttt....pphhhh....phttt... HAHAHAH!!!!!!!)

(I saw a Pez dispenser wunce. I dident know wat it was. I tried to talk to it but it blanked me. So I gave it a nudge an its hed nearly fell off. It's haunted me for eons. Thanks for clearing that wun up.)

As to my age, it's hard to tell, really. In Bear years, 5, but Mummy reckons I'm mor like a 8 year old, so I think it's diffrent in hewman years.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

PhaseOut,

Another knees I see.... okidoke.

As fer public toilets, ma an Mummy use the wuns in big department stores. They are cleaner an hav add-ons, like SOAP an TOWELS. Wow. Hoo'da thort it.