WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Get bizzy shoppin or get bizzy dyeing

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Mummy cort me investigaytin her grey hairs so desydid the time was ripe fer a bit of dyeing.

I'm told that, fer a lot of women, this is a 6-weekly half hour job, jus rootine. Ha! Not fer MY mum. She takes 3 weeks to deside that yes, she IS reelly goin a bit snowy on top, another 2 to get rownd to buying the box of chemicals, a ferther 3 wile the box gathers dust on her dressing tabol (believe me, that tabol is dusty. She says it's jus where the talc lands, but NO talc container can pack that much) an then a week to get syked up enuff to akchewally do it.

We ar in stage 2 of this timetabol of events, so off we went, shopping.

She akwired a new shopping bag at the weekend. It's HEWGE. So big, in fact, that there is now no reason fer eny of us Bears to stay at home wen there is eevn the slimmest of chances that she is goin into town an might walk parst the window of the Anne Summers shop. Ooo there's nuthin like walking parst that shop. It's even better than goin rownd the pant sekshon in Marks & Spensers. Do yu know, sum of the pants in that windo ar so small, even Littol Baby Bear Bob Junior wuddent be abol to make a hammock out of them! But I digress...... here we are, demonstraytin that yes, we DO all fit, so there:

An off we went.

If yu ar wondering wy I am not a Sympathetic Bear wen it comes to Mummy's hair sitchewayshon, let me tell yu of a pertikular torcher she applied to me sum time ago.

It is not troo wat Dilly sez, abowt me not having barths. I had wun 3 years ago. They eevn photografed the torcher bein applied, wich I'm shor goes agenst the Geneva Convenshun or sumthing:

NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But Mummy fergot that sum of my body beads are black (since the transfusion I had arfter being run-over). Now, there ar no blak beads in my hed. So wen the colour of the beads RAN, I was left wiv a dark body an a pale hed, fer weeks.

IT'S NOT FUNNY! But it means I am entitled to larf wen she mewses about HER head colour. So there.

Enyway, chemicals akwired, we shud be just exiting phase 3 by mid-June.

Bye fer now!

8 comments:

Chalkhills Collective said...

Were you scrubbed with the toothbrush? I'm sure the water was filled with relaxing bath salts and that you came out smelling of roses!

Chalky

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

I don't THINK she yewsd the toothbrush. It's hard to be shor. I've blokt out so much of the trorma.

As fer smelling of roses-

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's sissy.

Chewy said...

I've stopped coloring my hair... at least for now. I want to see how gray it is.

inthepottingshed said...

Oooh, BT, you really have been through the wars, haven't you?

Beware your mummy doesn't also touch up some of your parts, whilst she's at it.

inthepottingshed said...

Oh, for goodness sake - it's me (shrink wrapped scream). I made this blog for hubby, and now it's totally taken over my site!! I'll be back to my old self soon, I hope!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chewy,

Mummy sez that she has never been tempted to jus go grey. But worryingly, she DUZZ get tempted to shave it all off an see wat it grows bak lyke.

Kwite worrying. Wat with her blak jeans an boots, she cud end up looking like Yul Bryner. An NOBODY wants their Mum to look like Yul Bryner. I don't care how good he was in The Magnificant Seven.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Shrinky,

I know. It's hard. We hav an account fer me, wun fer Dilly, an wun fer Mummy.

Wat wiv the instrukshon "Choose an identity", it's enuff to make yu skitzofrenic.

:@o

margaret said...

Oh poor Bob! Glad to see you all one shade again! LOL!

Good ref. to Shawshank in the title, btw. Very clever!