WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Pillock

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: hibernaytin
  • Simpsons: yes-wow! It was all about LISA!!!!
  • Tesco: yes, a late run out fer toilet roll. Yu can tayke that both ways.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: oops fergot /10
  • Day Score: 8.93601/10


Well. The Man Hooz Anal Retentivness Knows No Bounds (otherwise known as "Him At Number 54") has taken wun more grate stride towards Norman Bateness.

Not likin all the berds in our garden, he has fixt a piece of string, one inch above the top of his fence.

He has akchewally gon to the trubbol of puttin a nail in each post, then tying the string to them. Er, this is ment to stop the berds sitting on his fence.


The berds ar fasinated by this an spend lots of time sitting on it an peckin it. I wotcht wun Duv sit ferst wun way, then carefully step rownd to face the other way, then bak agen. He kept doin this fer abowt 5 minits, lettin a pleesingly large dollop of poo fall on the Pillock's side of the fence as he manooverd.

So I'm pleesd to see that his oh-so-sooper-string has had the oppsite effect, an berds ar spendin MOR time on his fence. HA! HA! Take that! There! Stik that wun in yer pants an sniff it, Mister Bates!

Oooooo it's enuff to mayke yu chew yor own fut, it is.

Bye fer now!


Dilly's put sum pikchers of sum of our berds on her blog today. Hav a luk if yu like. But remember, yu'll never get those minits back.


Chalkhills Collective said...

Hello Bob
I've seen the pictures on Dilly's blog, they're very good, I'm sure you must have helped her to take them. It's a sad fact that some people just don't like birds (they probably don't like a lot of other things too). You and Dilly are doing an excellent job for the birds in your garden, keep it up.


Anonymous said...

I feed the birds in my garden too. I like the Catbirds, Tufted Titmouse, Cardinals, Wrens, Chickadees, Sparrows, Woodpeckers, Yellow Finches, Mocking Birds and Mourning Doves.

I don't like the Starlings. And I don't like the poo on my flowers.

Dilly said...

Norrr, Dilly take camra wen Bob bizzy doin Silly Bear Nonsense.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Dilly, that wazzent Silly Bear Nonsense, that was a speshol Mishon. So ther.

Yu meen, ther mite be peepol hoo don't like BEARS? :@o

We don't hav catberds. Wat do they look like? Ar they big?
Our Blue Tits yewst to be called Titmouse. So I wonder if yor tufted titmouse is our crested tit. We also get a Bearded Tit, an they hav big diamond back eye masks, like they're goin to a fancy dress party as Alice Cooper.

I don't know wat a chikadee is. It sownds very cute tho. We don't get mourning duvs or mokin berds.

Mummy likes the wren best, I think. It makes a clakety clakety clakety noize.

She duzzent like poo on her flowers either, that's wy I go behind the tree.


pissed off patricia said...

And I go to all kinds of extremes to lure birds to my fence so that I can see them from my kitchen window. I provide a feast of feeders and bird baths.
When my neighbor moved in next door, they cut down all the trees on their lot so birds wouldn't sit in them and "dirty" their grass with bird poops.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

P.O.P., sum peepol are just compleet ar*e*oles.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

If enywun else duzzent know wat a catberd looks like, I found wun on the "What's in your backyard?" site. Here's the link:


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Thanks Chewy- that's wat I ment. I don't know how to do links in the comments sekshon. Can enywun tell me?

Anonymous said...

That's the catbird! From that photo's angle you can't see the red color under his tail.

I copy and pasted the http into the address bar above and it brought me to the page.