WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Friday, June 22, 2007

Ursine Rytes

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: went shoppin an bort 5 new players
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no, even tho we're gettin dayngerussly low on cow juice
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
  • Day Score: 8/10

There wer a cuppol of storreez on the news this mornin that got me a bit eggsytid!

They wer all abowt "hewman rytes".

Now, I THORT that hewman rytes ment reelly important stuff, like the ryte to eat an drink, liv under a roof, hav fresh pants an not hav sumbody poke yu wiv a sharp stik all day. But it seems like it meens yu can hav enything yu want, an if sumwun sez "No, yu carn't!" then they ar "impigeoning on yor rytes".

Ferst ther was a man hoo runs a cafe. Now, next munth in England, it will be rong to put smokey stiks in yer mouth in lots of playsis, incloodin cafes. This man waz sayin that all the peepol hoo werk fer him like smokey stiks an so it was rong if they wud hav to keep goin owt in the cold fer wun, cos then they mite get ill. WHAT THE? I thort the smokey stiks mayde yu ill, let alone goin out in the cold!

sumthing is impigeoning on my marrygolds' ryte to hav leeves an keeps eetin them an makin them curl up!

Then ther was a skoolgerl hoo is goin to a big cort in Lundon cos her skool teechers sed she cuddent ware a ring, cos yor not allowd to ware rings in her skool.

Both theez peepol sed that they were havin their Hewman Rytes impigeoned.

Mummy sed "It's enuff to mayke yu want to chew yor own fut off!"

mmmm nyum nyum...fresh toe nail....

Well, I can tell yu, I am followin theez storeez verry closely, in cayse they are ryte. Cos if they ar, then it meens that I may hav thort abowt Ursine Rytes too narrowly, too. I meen, I wud kwite like to run throo the lawngerry sekshon in Debenhams showtin "WA-HEYYYY!" an wavin their best pants on both top paws wylst wearin a blak an bloo spottid thong rownd my nek. (An hoo wuddent?) But Mummy sez I'm not allowd to. But wat if that is impigeoning on my rytes as a Bear??? I cud hav her ther! Wa-heyyy!!!!!!!!!!!

Bye fer now!


Dilly said...

Dilly ryte not hav smelly Bears all over howse.


Meanie the baby dragon said...

Az not humanz wee don hav witez! I tink dat dinkz!

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Oh, BT - I saw that too ('cept the cafe was a strip joint, and the PRIME MINISTERS wife was representing him.. get your mummy to explain - or perhaps not). Anyhows, you as ever, are a wise old bear, I do wish these daft beggers would stop abusing the system! (Nose-hugs.)

Anonymous said...

If you ever run through the lingerie store waving panties and wearing a thong be sure to bring the camera!

oh, make sure you're smoking a cigarette and wearing a ring. Um, on second thought... don't actually light the cigarette.

Anonymous said...

Bob - There's a bum picture at my blog. Just for you.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Wa-heyyyy! Thanks for the tip-off, Chewy! I'm off to check that out....