WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Oodels ov serpport!

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: yes, short vizit, mostly fer veggies, but I still got a ride in the trolley
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: LBBBJ thinks he got me, but I waz ownly hewmerrin him. so reelly it's a 9.5. But if he arsks, say 8. /10
  • Day Score: 7.3296/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

WOW! Thank yu evrywun hoo haz alreddy pledged their serpport fer Gillingham by signin up to my "Don't Mok The Bear" club. Remember, this starts this weekend: ware sumthin bloo on Saterday! The gayme starts at 3pm UK time an shud be dun by 4.50. Ther's a 15 minit brake arfter 45 minits. I thort I'd tell yu the times in cayse yu dident kno much bowt footboll, an wantid to put bloo pants on yor hed for the dewrayshun, or sumthin like that. Then, if ther waz a nok at the dor, providid it waz dewring the brake, it wuddent matter if yu had to remoov them temporarilly. Jus thort I'd let yu kno. I wuddent want yu to be inconveeniensed or enythin. Or to worry bowt dor-arnserin responsibilitys.

Just a few kweeries to arnser now:

Lynda (Granny K): thank cu fer puttin yor bloo undies in the wash in rediness fer Saterday. Fer fewtcher refrence, an in cayse yu carnt get to do the washin, unwasht wuns wud werk just as well. An remember, "Derty pants, cleen bottom."

Phytheas: bloo trowsers wud werk very well. In fakt, if yu hav no pants underneeth them, yu cud just pretend they wer very long pants, enyway.

Chalky: a bloo swetter wud be grayte. Grayum offen nicks mine to show serpport.

David: I've ownly seen Ozzie Rools footboll wunce, an it's weerd. They grab the ball like in rugby, but don't pile in on top ov wun another as much. An just as well, as they wear very very tiny pants. Yu mite think they're shorts, but no shorts ar that short. It wud never be allowd in the Northern Hemisfeer, I can tell yu.

Pope Terry: thank yu fer tryin. I hope yu manage to find sum bloo pants. If not, how bowt bloo sox?

Shrinky: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahahaHAAA! Yu reveeld that yu reveeld all in my Ankles Or Knees? survey! It's too layte to be coy now! (But never too layte to take up pant wearin agen...)

I'm not serprised that yor men folk serpport Manchester (pawses to spit) Utd, as yu don't liv enywhere neer Manchester, an this is in that teem's finest tradishun, that no fan shall liv in the sayme cownty as Manchester, or eevn Country, in most cayses. Ha. Pleez do find a bloo sumthin. I carnt promiss a choklit biccie, but the choklit peanuts ar plentiful.

Ms Creek: Mummy issent a sport fan either, but she likes to liv wiv a happy Bear. Hence her new bloo pants. Thank yu fer pledgin to wear yors if the wether issent too hot. Tho I'm intreegd: wat cullor do yu wear wen it IS too hot?

Rachelle: ah yes, a bloo shert will be grayte. But yu hav no bloo pants at all? Yu must mayke a note ov this deprivayshun, an report it to Farther Crissmoss this yeer. Put a sticky note on the fridge dor. That's ware I write things wen I hav to remember to remember them. An then sumwun else mite reed it, an think, "Oh deer, poor Rachelle duzzent hav eny bloo pants! How awful! I must buy her sum!" an then yu'll get sum that way, too. An befor yu kno it, yu'll hav enuff pairs fer a dam good frolic.

Chewy: Horrayyy!!!! An congratulayshuns on havin lots ov diffrent cullerd pants! I wud expekt no less from a grayte artist like yorself. Thank yu fer pladgin yor bloo wuns!

Mousie: ahhh, my littol redenty frend, if a pair ov yor so-small-smalls wer espeshally dyed fer the occayzshun, wat enharnsement that occayzshun wud enjoy. I hope. I wonder if I cud get a few pairs on the mice that liv under the kitchen too. Thank yu for yor serpport.

and finally, Ruth: thank yu fer yor serpport! An I never knew yu wer from Kent. Mummy comes from a Kenty playse calld Walderslade. It yewst to be woody, but now it's mostly houses. Poor Walderslaydian Bears. I jus hope they hav gardens, or a good indoor plarnt. Peepol don't seem to realize that those pekuliar screwd up expresshuns yu see on lots ov Older Bears ar corzd mostly by the remooval ov adekwayte toylet fasillytees in their mid-teens. Yu carnt jus go rownd bildin on woodland willy-nilly.

RITE!!!

I'll report bak an let yu kno wat the scor is at the end ov the gayme. An did I menshun the compensayshun/sellybrayshun proseedures? NO???????? WELL! If we win, yu get a sellybraytory banarnana. If we looz, yu get wun choklit peanut fer evry goal the cheatin scum stole off us. An if it's a dror, yu get WUN choklit peanut AND a banarnana. Wa-heyyy!!!!!!

Bye fer now!

12 comments:

david mcmahon said...

That, my erudite bear friend, is why I play cricket, not Aussie Rules!

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Bob: me wud joyn u butt me no waow pantz! Butt me towd me mawmaw tu waow bwoo pantz an dee did!

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Good luck for the match BT, I've opted to wear hubby's blue boxers for the day (don't tell him).

As for Man U - poor hubby still supports Fulham, 'cos we used to walk to Craven Cottage to watch 'em play - but all his loving kids switched alligience from there the minute we moved away. Loyalty, eh?

ps. YOU'RE TOP OF THE BLOGS!!!!!

RUTH said...

Well I had blue jeans and t shirt on but it didn't seem to help the Gills...guess I'll have to wear blue undies next time too! :o)

RUTH said...

BTW now I know why you're a Gills supporter....Waldeslade is quite near Gillingham isn't it?

Pope Terry said...

I have tonnes of blue sox, I'll stuff them in my 'pants' for extra effect

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

WOW! DAVID! That means yu must wear WOODEN pants! I throw my arms up at yu!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chuck,
THat's OK. Yu can wear a bloo bow tie if yu like, or sox, or a hat. But pleez say thank cu to yor mawmaw fer her bloo pant wearin.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Shrinky,

Ah the flitetyness of yoof! Do yu kno, Mummy even sergestid that Daddy an me switch to serpportin Colchester jus coz weed moovd to Colchester? Tsk! SUm peepol don't kno the werd "loyolty" exists! We neerly mayde her sleep in the car arfter that!

Thank yu fer wearin hubby's bloo boxers. HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA. Hope they wernt too itchy.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ruth,
Alas.
I waz tryin to think ov how to brake the news to yu all, an I see yu alreddy kno. All our efferts dident werk. Har well. As yu say, oviously mor bloo pantayshusness rekwired.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ruth,
Gillingham issent too far from Walderslade, no. But reelly it's all Daddy's fault. He serpportid them, so brort me up the sayme. A singular crooelty on a speecies that duzz loyolty so well. I meen, I can hardly jus switch, can I? A poynt I remin him ov wen we get to abowt mid-seezon an ar tumblin bottom ferst down the taybols.

Sigh...

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,

WA-HEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I throw my arms up atchyu!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahahAAAAAAH!

Wat a fantastik idea!

An given yor nayme, do yu hav a pointy hat? Yu cud slip a few under that, too.