WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Dogs an ther bottoms

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes, a Crismoss Speshol (what the? Did I miss it alreddy?)
  • Tesco: yes, fer petrol. Ownly jus mayde it.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 60/10 (Peruvian Rools vershon. Bit too complykaytid to explayne to LBBBJ, unfortewnitly. For him. Hahahahaha )
  • Day Score: 7.83296/10
HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Mummy's frend Donna, in Missourri, sent her this foto today, to cheer her up. Yu kno yu've got a grayte frend wen she sends yu a foto ov a dog's arse doin an impreshon ov Mr Bo Jangles. Personelly, altho me an LBBBJ had a good larf, (an improvizd a few impreshins arselves, wich Mummy refewsd to foto for me) I think I'd prefer this dog if he wor pants.

Hav yu notist this abowt dogs, in genrol? They do like to show off their bottoms. We sat in the car yesterday an wayted wile a man an 3 hewge blak Doberman tipes walkt (slowwwly) akross the roade. They all had serkols ov lighter hair on their bums, as if to say "Wy, hullo ther, an hav yu seen my bum?" (I meen the dogs, not the man. I cuddent see his.) From a distance it lookt like they wer all waring very very tiny tiny pants.

They cuddent hav been, ov corse, coz ther waz nothin at the sides. Or maybe they had dispenst wiv the pant en masse (see that, Mousie? That waz fer yu, that bit) an jus stuk the gussetty bit on insted.

I mean, yu get thongs, wich dispense wiv the bumcheek bit, so wy not hav jus hav stik-on gussetty bits, dispensin wiv the frunt, sides an bak compleetly.

a doberman: I meen, yu carnt reelly blayme the dog fer showin off his bottom all the time wen his owner duzz this sort ov thing to him.

In the UK ther is a man's haircut calld a 'short bak an sides'. It's wat old fellas say wen they go to the Barber. They say, "Hullo, Harry. Short bak an sides, pleez." I think, if we did get a pant that waz essenshally jus a stik-on gussetty bit, "short bak an sides" wud be a good nayme fer it.

Ther yu ar, yu see. Ther is a nayme reddy fer it, an a reddy mayde market owt ther waytin fer it. I meen, hoo wants to look at a dog's bottom?

Tis funny tho. Heeehehehehehee....

Bye fer now!

PS.

Ther willies ar werse, yu kno. I sor a Jak Russell's wunce. Well I think heed been playin dressin up cos his willy lookt jus like a lady's lipstik. Not wat yu want to see at a picnic, I can tell yu.

24 comments:

Pope Terry said...

aqb, my cat typed those three letters so I'll leave them there as a message from her. I'd suggest being careful around jack russels with 'lipstick', esspecially since your not the biggest of bears.

Phytheas said...

Bob, I showed this to the JCBinC and she laughed so much she nearly fell of her chair!

Dilly said...

MWEAH Bob be rood!

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Diz iz doh funnee butt awso doh nawttee! Dilly iz whyt, u need a pankin! hehehhe

A.Bananna said...

meanie...you just like to give spankings! lol.

That picture is really funny!!

Chewy said...

I would NOT give that puppy a nose hug.

Allan Cook said...

That is the funniest photo I have seen in a long, long time!

david mcmahon said...

L O V E the photograph. You are a very funny bear

Colleen said...

THe children I used to nanny for called it the "red rocket". Ewwwww.

Athreena said...

Heheeee, the picture of the dog bum with sunglasses is hilarious! It reminded me of another funny pic (here: http://flickr.com/photos/athreena/1348824299/)/ They must have been shopping together!

Victorya said...

I don't mind dog bums as much as what comes out of them! Just this morning in front of the market was a giant pile. Then, oddly enough, a trail of what looked like rather moist and dirty gummi bears up to the corner from the poo. Made me wonder.

Then I wondered if you are as upset about gummy bears as you are (and rightly so) about the Charmin Bears? Is it wrong to chew own the flavored gelatin that is shaped like tiny bears?

Mousie/Paisible said...

I'm so happy to see you speak french, so proud...that's great...and you know, I think you are so much more handsome than these strange dogs...they frighten me a bit...the photo is so funny though...about dogs, mine is a bit crossed, Ruth, Audrey and others saw "his" photo on a blog and said "she was cute"...so you understand you...as a gentlebear...
so I must comfort him...he does not show his bump that way...he is a smaller dog, we found him in front of the railway station...a sad story, but a happy end...so now I'm going to bed...have a good night my dear dear dear friend, mon chéri...
much love from Miss Mousie and from Mousie as well...

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Athreena,

Hulloo!!!!!!! Yu hav sum grayte foto's on yor flikr site. I must explor them more deeply...

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Victorya,

I waz wunce left wun gummy Bears by Farther Crosmoss, so I think that meens they're ok. Arfter all, they ar ownly like Jelly Babys fer Bears. If yu look closely at them they don't hav enything that looks like knees, so they're not ment to be like Real Bears. The problem wiv Charmin is that they yews pikchers of REAL Bears, wich is jus blaytant exploytayshun.

Gummy Bears ar kwite yummy but enyway I prefer choklit peanuts.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Mowsie, lots ov good peeps start off bein fownd on railway stayshuns, jus look at Paddington Bear.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,

Ah! Pleez thank yor cat fer her messidge, wich ov corse waz Mog Short Paw for "A Quality Blog". Thank yu.

An thanks fer the tip re Jack Russells wiv tips. (ha)
I kwite like them, cos ov Eddie on Frasier. But I shall be careful rownd them....

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Phyth,

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! So long as there waz no daynger ov her fallin on yu. Haha!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Dilly! Get off my blog! Yu've got yor own! An I'm not rood!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Meanie, I'd like to see yu try!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

a.bananna,
Yes, I worry abowt that dragon sumtimes. An Dilly. I don't kno hoo is havin a bad inflooence on hoom, thare. Pah!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Allan,

I'm glad yu liket it an had a good grin

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

David,

thank yu fer the top playse agen. Wa-heyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

:@D

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Colleen,

"red rocket"? HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! That's funny. I wonder wy they ar so poynty.

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chewy,

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Speshally not a serprise wun, eh?

HAHAA!

:@}