WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Football, Poo, an Kangaroos.

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills:YES!!!!! We won! Hurrayyy!!!!!!!! We won 3 - 1 agenst Leyton Orient (full nayme, Le-ton-ov-poo, abowt as Oriental as Birmingham). Me an Daddy traveld down to Kent to see them. I dident get to go on the pitch and nose the ball this time, but I did jus spot a small brown blur runnin parst the goal at wun poynte, so another Bear did it for me. Me, I waz bizzy in the chairman's offiss, tryin to explayne wy I cuddent arfter all tayke on the job of new Team Manager. My existing sponsibilitys ar jus too varst, I hav realisd. He sed he kwite understood, an wood hav to pick sumwun else insted. Probly sum time this week, akchewally, if he can trak down his number two choyse.
  • Simpsons: mist them, but fer a good reeson
  • Tesco: no: now weer runnin out ov toilet papyer. This is gettin seerious. Daddy issent too fayzed as he ownly goze abowt 3 times a week. But Mummy duzz 4 or 5 poos a day. An that's wen sheez well. I cort her taykin sum tishoos into the loo wiv her. As if it issent bad enuff that she is self-ishooing, she is now yewsin tishoos fer unapproovd perpossis. She apologized an sed it waz an emergensy an assured me that eech tishoo wud be fasilitayted 3 times: to coff, blow her nose, an 'wipe'. Hehehee. I explayned that this was reelly no excews an mayde her fill in the correkt rekweezishon form. Yu carnt just go abowt doin anarky, yu kno. That's wen the trubbol starts.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10! Got Grayum. He thort it waz all still serspendid. /10
  • Day Score: 8/10

I waz thinkin today abowt kangaroos. They're grayte, aren't they? An I desydid that if I weren't a Bear, I'd be a kangaroo. That way I cud run abowt leepin an frolickin, an if it startid raynin I cud jus jump bak into my Mummy's poket. It'd be cool.

The kangaroo: wun ov Winnie T Pooh (esq.)'s best pals belongd to this aynchent tribe

So now I hav a kwestchon fer yu all:

Wat kind ov Bear or Not-a-Bear wud yu be, if yu wer not the Bear or Not-a-Bear yu ar?

Yu can pik anything yu want. Jus be advized that if yu pik enything reptillian yu mite be encurridging a certain small croco-dragon onto yor blog, s'all.

Bye fer now!

thanks to Animal Wallpapers Blog for this foto!


Chalkhills Collective said...

Hello Bob, if I wasn’t a not-a-bear, I’d be an Eider Duck. They eat seafood, my favourite, they live on beautiful rocky coastlines and best of all they have the best bird call ever (go listen!).


Phytheas said...

This is a tricky one Bob. I’d either be a Marmot because they live in beautiful mountains and I saw one on holiday this year. Or I’d be a Wombat , they may look slow, but given the opportunity they can run at up to 45kmph. They’re both honorary bears really. I can’t really decide.


Pope Terry said...

An octopus, or a goat, or maybe a cross of the two...

Rachelle said...

Dear Bob,
I maintain that it was my bloo sweatY pants that did it ;^)

I don't know, I think I'd like to be a bird, but I am afraid of heights so I don't know how well that would work... can you just see it now? Me, a bald eagle, climbing up the mountain because I can't even fly up to my erie.... uh-uh.

How about a dolphin? Yup! That's it! A dolphin. Smart, sleek, and have you ever seen a fat one? Nope.
Oh how I wish!

Anonymous said...

I already answered this in an interview.

I'd be a Kinkajou. Otherwise known as a Honey Bear, Sugar Bear or Cat Monkey.

What! Cat Monkey?

Anonymous said...

btw - I don't like it when bad people make us nice people have to take precautions. Bad people stink!

Lynda (Granny K) said...

I think i'd be a swan.

A.Bananna said...

I would want to be a butterfly. they are so beautiful and they represent so many different things.

Ms. Creek said...

well, i would love to either be a MOOSE or a raven.

Asta said...

Ooh Beaw
It's awfully late hewe and I'm too sneepy to think kleawly about my choice..but i admiwe you so much and love youw taste in foodses so I think I'd like to be a beaw akshooally!
Did youw Mommi fill out the wequesition fowms??I could send you some emewgency tissue if you want,we have a deli in ouw building whewe I could get some,..just let me know.

I'm vewy glad youw team won!
smoochie kisses

RUTH said...

When I was a little girl my school teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up...I said I wanted to be a dustman 'cos they only work one day a week...LOL
I think I'd like to be a Blue Whale and spend all day swimming and no one could moan about how much I weighed!
{{bear hugs}}

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Well BT, thank you for filling me in on your mummy and grayums weekly and daily bowel movements (does she know you've done this?) it is certainly something I shall never forget..

Moving on swiftly - do you know you are top of the blogs again? Well done, sweetie, I can't think of any blog more deserving!

On to the serious question of what I'd be if I were not-a-bear - I'd be a hefalump (elephant), they have great girlie-elephant friends, lot's of babysitters, live ever so long, are gentle and loving (do you know elephants shed real tears?) and are very, very intelligent, too. Oh, and they live in the coolest of places (well, hot actually, but you know what I mean).

WalksFarWoman said...

There's no doubt I'd be:

The common cormorant (or shag)
Lays eggs inside a paper bag,
You follow the idea, no doubt?
It's to keep the lightning out.

But what these unobservant birds
Have never thought of, is that herds
Of wandering bears might come with buns
And steal the bags to hold the crumbs.

Marrie me - I luv ewe. ;)

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Me don wan tu be annefing butt a dwaygun, me happee tu be me!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


Those ar exslent reesons. I feer it mite get Dilly a tad egsitid wen she reeds it, tho.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


Marmots look like big chipmunks! I think they're cool!

But not shor abowt wombats- wen my Mummy waz in Oz, wun ov them cayme over an norrd her jeans. Good job she had them on or she mite hav lost a leg.

Her unkol waz wiv her an told her, "It's ok it's nuthin personal. If they're owt dewrin the day it meens they've gon mad in der hed. So don't worry, it issent personal."



B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,
this will be a centor wiv an octopus hed or a goat wiv 8 legs. Hav yu thort this out proply? I think yu shud ask McGlinch fer a sketch!


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


It mite werk- my mummy is scared ov hites but she went gliding an was ok. She sed if yor in control yor not scared enymor.

Wen she visits carsols she climbs up the tall bit (if it's still there) an then sheez too scared to look over the top!

Dolphions. I've got a cuzzin hoo haz a pet dolphin.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


AH YES! I REMEMBER! Good to see yu havent chaynged yor mind!


(Rite abowt the narsty peeps, tho. Dident want their links poppin up heer. They don't leed to nise playsis. Not want to send others there.)


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


Yes, that wud sooot yu!

But remember the Spike Milligan ode:

Down the stream the swans all glide
It's quite the cheapest way to ride:
Their feet get wet, their tummies wetter,
I think, after all, the bus is better!


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


I think wiv that haircut a moth mite be better!


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ms Creek,



If yu wer a moose yor hed mite end up on a wall sumwhere. Whereas, if yu wer a Raven, yu cud go an liv wiv Grayum's relativs at the Tower of Lundon.

Better stik to mooose.



B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


hehehee....smoochies....hehehe they tikkol.

Ah, yes. I can see yu as a bear, akchewally.

Ar yu brayve enuff, tho?


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


yes that's rite- dustmen an vicars.

A big bloo wale! That's grayte- yu'd be wearing bloo for the Gills all the time! Wa-heyyy!

How is yor corse goin?


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...



Grayum is not my Daddy!!!!


No, Grayum, like me, ownly poos occayshonly, wen we can mayke it to the woods.


By the way, today's scor is 2 - 1 to Mummy. Heheheee. Daddy sez it's kwolity, not kwontity that cownts.


we sor a bayby ellyfanty at Howletts Anmol PArk the other munth. He waz havin lots ov fun runnin abowt. But did yu kno that they stay in their mummy's tummy a long long time? So wuddent want to be a mummy wun! Maybe a big daddy wun. Yes. Then I'd get all the do'nuts.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


oh gosh ))))blush((((

wat a wunderful poem!

An kwite rite, we wud need a bag fer the crums.

oh gosh ))))blush((((

thank cu heheheh but I'm sayvin myself fer Lisa Simpson.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ah Chuck,

Dilly gayve the sayme arnsa!

Ah well. Bein a dragon soooots yu!