WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Monday, December 10, 2007

Anuther new Bear!

Weekend's scores:
  • Gills: YES- we played Port Vale, wich issent eevn a playse!!! An we lost 2 - 1 cos they're cheatin scum.
  • Simpsons: nope
  • Tesco: yes, fer petrol
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 5 (waz traynin new Bears, an let them win a few times.) /10
  • Overall Score:7 ish /10
  • Advent Calendar Pikcher: Saterday- laydy on a donkey an a man wiv a stik; Sunday- Man carryin cheez on his hed. Onnist, it waz.

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well, me, Daddy, Grayum an the new skwotter, Mulligan, dropt Mummy off at Granny's an then all went to football. We lost. An it ternd out to be Mummy's fawlt, as she dident ware her Lukky Bloo pants. She sad she had washt them the day befor an they wer still damp. Wat kind ov excewss is that? They wud soon hav got dry wiv the warmth of the buttok area. Wimen! Onnistly! Sumtimes I jus think they carnt think ov stuff.

Enyway....

Wen we got bak to Granny's we diskuverd that a new Bear had arrived thare! He is a small Grizzly, an got there in his very own tardis all the way from Alaska. He brort his own salmon wiv him, too:

His nayme is Sam J. West.

Grayum went to meet him:

"Hullo! I'm Grayum! How do yu do?"

Granny bort sum carrot cayke speshly for us:

Sam is on a mishon to discuver things. So far he has discuverd carrot cayke (an wat happens wen yu try to nik my bit), cats, cars, tunnels, an pants. I introdewst him to the latter myself.

He has discuverd camras, too, an he duzzent like them. He seems to get spookt by them:

Well. He has come home wiv us. Dilly is a tad mifft abowt this, as she sez 2 mor Bears iz 2 Bears 2 menny. Mind yu, she also sez that 2 is 2 menny 2, let alone 2 2 menny. Not that she reelly knows wat 2 is. An theez 2 dident eevn bring her eny bows.

But it's been kwite fun, now I'm over the shok ov their appeerants, to teech them abowt frolickin pants, an serprize nose-hugs, an "Bear! Not-a-Bear!", an sneekin up on Dilly, an all that sorta thing.

An I've been tellin them bowt things to avoyd, too, ov corse. Wich brings me to a kwestchun from Ms Creek an A.bananna, abowt wat a Vomit Sok is.

Well peeps, a vomit sok is baysickly wun ov Daddy's yewsd soks. Wun day, wen mummy waz eetin cheese (wich she luvs, but Daddy haytes an I ownly like wiv Marmite on toast) he sed, "I jus don't understand how enywun can eet sumthing that smells like my feet!" To wich Mummy replyd, "But yor feet don't smell ov cheese, darlin, they smell ov vomit."

Hence, "vomit socks". See also, "Guard Socks".

Bye fer now!

31 comments:

mrsnesbitt said...

Bob, there is something familiar about new bear....he looks a bit like Elsie our german shepherd!

But bless, in that container...hey wnough to space anybody out!

Off to bed now Bob, am well tired.
Catch up soon.

xxxx

PS We have had contact from CJ!
Bear is packing his case!

Stanley said...

Hello, Bobber!

You are the most hospitable and helpful bear I've ever (not) met! I'd love to observe your bear training program. Maybe I could learn a few techniques to use on my new sissy (she's an untrained not-a-bear puppy).

Speaking of my sissy, her name is Stella, and she thinks you're the most handsome bear she's ever seen. She likes to snuggle with bears, see, and she wants to invite you over for a good cuddle. I will let her ask you herself, but I must warn you. She's teething and has been known to have a good chew with the bears and other non-real stuffed animals with whom she cuddles.

Consider yourself warned!

Goober love,
Stanley

Chalkhills Collective said...

More bears! You'll have enough for a football team soon!

My knitting needles and I have been busy and have something for you. Could you e-mail me so I can send them to you?

Chalky

Phytheas said...

Hello Bob me old pal, me old beauty (I've been exposed to The Archers again, I try to shut my ears to it but it gets me in the end!). Looks like you're in for some fun. Did Sam smell of fish? Fish and vomit socks - eeewww.

Phy

Stella said...

Hello there, Mr. Bob T. Bear esq.

Stanley the Airedale (who is my big bruzzer) told me all about you, Mr. Bear. I had to come see you myself, because he and my friend Asta said you are the best bear around!

Oh, I forgot my manners. My name is Stella... pleased to meet you.

Would you like to be my fren and come over sometime for a cuddle? If it helps at all, I am much smaller than my bruzzer. Stanley is 80+ pounds, and I'm only 9 pounds (I'm a Lakeland Terrier). I'm a very warm and cuddly girl, and I would be ever so thankful if you would share a snuggle with me sometime.

Please take some time to think about it.

Thank you.

I'm sending some of my love & little kissies to you & your family.

Your new friend,
Stella

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Mrs Nesbitt,

REELLY?????

Gosh. Do yu hav fotoes ov Elsie on yor blog? I shall hav to go an investigayte.

Mummy thinks he looks a bit like a water vole....

:@o

Good to hear abowt CJ!!!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Stanley,

Oh noo! Grandad has a shelf full ov Bears an not-a-bears hoo hav had their eers chewd off by his poodol, Mr Cola!!! I hav to hide wen we go there. He slobbers, as well. An burys sossidges evrywhare- in the garden, down the sofa, in yer bed. A small Bear cud eesily risk the same fate. It's awful. LIke a Stephen King film...

gosh... I do like furry cuddols, an an an I AM brayve, but....

thanks fer the warnin!

:@o

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chalky,

OH MY!

A full Bear football team! WOW! That wud be brillyant! So long as the ref wassent a koala!

How eggsytin! Wat hav yu mayde??? I'll get my secretary onto it immedietly....

:@D

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Phyth,

tum te tum te tum te tum, tum te tum te tum tum...

HEHEHE!

Sam did smell a LITTOL bit ov fish. But so far weev mannidged to keep him away from the vomit soks. Exsept fer the demo. He hated that. HAHA!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Stella,

Hullo my luvley new cuddly frend! I wud luv a cuddol as I do like hugs from furry folk. But as a yungster yu need to hav lots ov sleep. So how abowt I nip by wen yor asleep an giv yu a nice nose-hug? Arfter all, I wuddent want to mayke Asta jelluss...

:@}

Harry said...

I think you do right to be careful of Stella's cuddles Bob. Just the other day Cassidy bit the nose off one of ma's bears!!!

Toodle pip,
Harry x

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

I'M CALLING WSPA!!!!!!!!

HOW WILL HE EVER BE ABLE TO PLAY BEAR! NOT-A-BEAR! WITHOUT A NOSE????

Dilly said...

MWEAH!

Bear got no nose-
how Bear smell?



Like poo!


Hneeehneneeeheheheheheeee!

¬"

Phytheas said...

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! Bob, my parcel from you just arrived. It was so excited I couldn't wait until THE big day to open it. I'm arranging a studio session with my photographer this evening - I'll show you the results on my blog! THANK YOU Bob!

Phy

Spaulding and Teddy T. said...

We're corn-fused?! Window-sill bears, not allowed to wander alone, but Sam can?! Huh?!

Spaulding and Teddy
who are scratching our furry heads.

A.Bananna said...

I think Sam is cute. he looks like he needs nose hugs.

thanks for telling us what a vomit sock was! YUCK! those are stinky!!

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Mee skaowd ov Gwizzwee Baowz! Me hopz Sam iz uh niz baow!

Asta said...

Bob
I am madly in love with Stanley, and Stella is my little giwlfwiend, but i would nevew be jelly of eithew of them getting a good cuddel fwom you cause you'we one of my vewy best fwiends..and Stanley is vewy gentle so don't wowwy, and i would pwotect you if Stella got too enthoosiastic
smoochie kisses
asta

Pope Terry said...

Dilly is quite outnumbered now isnt she, maybe she needs some more friends to make her feel better

it's the little things... said...

Love those 'spooked' images of the new pal. Ha!

Ms. Creek said...

ahhhhhh, now it all makes sense!

thanks, bob! you're so dang cute.

Stanley said...

Bob,

Please go by my blog and check out the award Stella & I have given you! It is well deserved.

By the way... very diplomatic answer to Stella. All she wants to do now is take a nap in the hope that you will nip by for that visit.

Goober love,
Stanley

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Phyth,

Exslent news! I waz wondring wen it wood get there! Horray! Hope it issent too big for yu!

:@D

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Spaulding an Teddy,

But Sam issent a Windowsill Bear! He's a wild grizzly! Not a Windowsill Bear!

Windowsill Bears sit on windowsills cos they're Windowsill Bears. It's in their beads.

:@o

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

a.bananna,

He is cewt, issent he? He is neerly as old as me tho, but not as streetwize. He has spent most ov his time waydin abowt lookin fer fish.

Weer off shoppin tonite an I'll show him whare we get ours.

:@}

Oh yes, an weer givin him nose-hugs, an he has startid to play Serprize Nosehugs.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chuck,
no need to scared ov Sam. He is very frendly an enyway, I think yu ar much bigger than him! He cud probly jump on yor bak fer a ride next time yu go down the bannister!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ahhh Asta, thank cew! Oooooo fluffy kisses!!!!!!!!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Pope Terry,
NO!

NONONONONO!

NO WAY!

No mor wagons I meen dragons!

Enyway she sort ov jus pootles abowt doin her own thing most ov the time...

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

It's the Little Things,

ah yes....I'm a littol thing!

HEHEHE!

Yes, he did look a bit spookt. He dident see menny camras owt in the wilds ov Alaska.

Mind yu, he wuddent hav seen menny armchairs, either, an they don't seem to bother him...

:@o

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Ms Creek,

Wy, thank cew! Yer not so bad yerself! HEHEHEEE!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Stanley, thank yu so much fer the award! I am ded chufft an reelly bouncing. Wa-heyyyy! coo this is grayte, this is. Ta!!! I'm gonna put it on the blog strayte away... wa-heyyy!

:@D