WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Monday, March 30, 2009

Phew!

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Wa-heyy!!! Wat a brillyent pawty that waz! I am compleetly poopt today! Thankew all for coming!

As yu kno, on Saterday we transferd the sellybrayshuns to Granny's howse:

Heer's the Bear groop foto wiv the Bears ov Granny's Howse:
Arfter eny offishul foto it's compulsury for sumwun to showt "Bear Bundol!" an then all the Bears hav to jump on hoo sed it..... this time it waz Blooberry!!
Then we sort ov fell over, gigglinn!
We had speshol Granny biskits:
Anuther yummy cayke was waytin as soon as we got thare!!

An Yeti-Bear discuverd sum entertaynmunt cayme free in the newspayper on Saterday. WOW! This meens eevn The Gardian knew abowt my pawty!

Jokes

WOW thare wer so menny jokes, an mutch peein in pants over them. HAHAHA! I cuddent chooz a winner I cud ownly get it down to 5 fayvrits:

Linda/Granny K:

Q:Where does a Grizzly Bear sit?

A:Anywhere he wants.

-Good King Wenceleslas went out to the pizza parlour and ordered a pizza. The assistant asked Do you want your usual?
Deep pan, crisp and even?


Rachelle:

Here's one about you! You smart bear you :))
Bob and the Blonde

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around
9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and
stared up at the TV.

The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was
covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building
preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you think he'll
jump?'

Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.'

The blonde replied, 'Well, I bet he won't.'

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, 'You're on!'

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy
on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling
to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her
$20 to Bob, saying, 'Fair's fair. Here's your money.'

Bob replied, 'I can't take your money, I saw this
earlier on the 5 PM news and so I knew he would jump.'

The blond replied, 'I did too; but I didn't think
he'd do it again.'

Bob took the money...

Asta-

A guy is driving around Oklahoma and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there."You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a damn liar. He never did any of that stuff."

Thare were sum sooperbly clever jokes too- speshly DeLiRium's:

Q: Why can a man never starve in the Great Desert?

A: Because he can eat the sand which is there.

Q: But what brought the sandwiches there?

A: Why, Noah sent Ham, and his descendants mustered and bred.

An thare wer grayte riddols an poems, as well!!! Thank yu so mutch!!!!!

I must mayke a speshol menshun ov Chewy's riddol, an yu will see wy:

Riddle:
You wear them briefly,
And in short,
You wear them chiefly
For support.
Whoever met you
Without a pair
Would not forget you-
You'd be bare!

Answer:
Your underwear. (LOL!)

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

It waz sutch a grayte time wiv yu all, thank yu so mutch.

If Chewy, DeLiRium, Asta, Granny K and Rachelle get in tutch, I'll send yu yor prize- yu can hav a syned foto ov me in a poze ov yor choyse. Mummy sed she waz goin to thro sumthing in as well, but I kno the foto will meen the most to yu. Ha!

I'm goin bak to bed now. I feel strayngely tyerd today.......

Bye fer now!

10 comments:

CHEWY said...

Wow! You really, really, really liked my riddle! (tee-hee) Thanks for the special mention. Congratulations on your anniversary. I enjoyed your fun party. (hic-cup) Especially the ginger bear... oops, I mean ginger beer.

I would love a signed autograph photograph of you, Mr. Bob T. Bear, Esquire. Surprise me with a pose.

CherryPie said...

Sounds like a wonderful time was had by all :-)

BumbleVee said...

ohhhh... me achin' head... after all the goodies and the readin' and the excitement........I just had to nap for a coupla days.... thanks again....

Julie said...

My sides are still ayking from all the jokes, Bob! What a grayte party.

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Oh Wow! Thank you Bob for hostin such a great party! I'm so happy you like my jokes. I'd love a signed picture of you, any one... (but not moonin' - I want to see your face please!)

skywind said...

Oh, these baby bears, bear family. LOL
Health information
Humor & Fun World

Asta said...

Bob
This was such a gweat pawty bob..Thak you..I can't believe I got a speshul mention..that is pawsome!!!

I love so many of youw poses Bob, it'a awfully hawd to pick. Maybe one of you wif youw hat on inside out fwom wintew, ow you in youw coat ow tuwtleneck? See I told you , I can't deside..I will twust youw judgement. A pawtogwaphed pictoowe of you is to be tweasoowed no mattew which one it is!

Hope you got some west aftew all that pawtying.
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Joe Stains said...

what a wonderful party you had! I sure wish I could have had some of that cake, but we enjoyed reading all the jokes for sure!

No Cool Story said...

Pfft, no wonder I didn't win, those jokes were great :D

Lucky winners!

No Cool Story said...

That's so wild party you all had Bob.
Glad you had a rockin' time :)