WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Friday, March 27, 2009

500th post pawty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Welcome to my 500th Post Sellybrayshun Party Weekend!!!!
THANK YU all for markin this orspishus landmark wiv me.
An THANK YU all for vizitin me over the last cuppol ov yeers an maykin bloggin sutch grayte fun!!
I've reelly enjoyd meetin yu all!

Enyway, abowt this pawty....

  • To join in, leev sum jokes in the comments sekshun for evrywun to enjoy! Thare will be a prize for the wun that maykes me larff most, to be annownst on Munday!!!
  • Copy an post the abuv pikcher ov me in sellybraytery hat garb onto yor blog, if yu can. It's not compulsory but wud help spred the werd!!!!
NOW wat do we hav for yu?........

CAYKES!!!!Mmmm... Mummy's freshly mayde appol an almond muffins...

Yummy biskits!Oooo.... Oirish choklits!!
Wayte a min.... wat's that Grayum's hidin behind his bak???

Wa-heyyy! FROLICK!!!!

an our Speshul gest....
A POLE DANCER!!!! (Bet yu wernt expektin THAT wun! HAHAHA!)
Clik on the video* an enjoy!
(Yunger Bears shud avert theyer eyes.
Unless theyer mummy issent arrownd, in wich cayse, Yo!)

*If yu carnt see the video thare, try HEER!


Eskimo Jokes..........

Q: Wat duz an Eskimo keep his howse together wiv?

A: Iglue

Q:How often do Eskimos looz their trowzers?

A: Wunce in a bloo moon!

Q: Wat do yu call an Eskimo cow?

A: An Eskimoo.

Fishy Jokes.....

Q: Wat did the fish say wen he swam into the wall?
A: "Dam!"

Q: Wy ar goldfish orange?

A: The warter mayde them rusty.

Q: Wat is dry on the owtside, filld wiv warter an shoots throo bildings?
A: A fish tank.

Q: Wat part ov fish duzzent mayke eny sense?

A: The piece ov cod that passeth all understanding :@}

Q: Wy did the lobster blush?

A: He sor the oshen's bottom!!

Frog jokes...

Q: Whare do toads sit?

A: On toadstools, ov corse.

Q: Wat waz the cowboy frog calld?
A: Hoppalong Cassidy.

Q: Whare do frogs fly flags?
A: On tadpoles.

Q: Wat do yu get if yu cross a dog wiv a frog?
A: A dog that can lik yu from the uther side ov the street.

Dog jokes...

Q: Wy do dogs run in sercols?
A: Cos it's hard too run in skwares!

Q: How did the Scottish dog feel wen he sor the Loch Ness monster?
A: He waz terrier-fied!

Teacher: this essay abowt yor dog is the sayme as yor bruther's, werd for werd.
Boy: That's rite; it's the sayme dog.

Q: Wen is a blak dog not a blak dog?
A: Wen heez a greyhownd.

Q: Wen is a wite dog not a wite dog?
A: Wen heez a greyhownd.

Q: Wen is a brown dog not oh OK yu kno that wun.....


I waz sittin in the cemetary an three men walkt parst carryin a coffin.
40 minuts layter they walkt by agen, carryin the sayme coffin.
I think they'd compleetly lost the plot...

THANK YU for comin along to joyne in! Don't forget to hand yor jokes in at the dor!! Weel be moovin the sellybrayshuns to Granny's howse tomorro, but I'll be bak Sunday nite.
So enjoy, an seeya soon!!!!!!!!!


Poopsie aka Blue said...

Hi there Bob!

Congrats on this landmark.
And, thanks for the pawty invite.

Will be back later with Sir Woodstock but @ the moments he's recovering from shock as I've told him he needs to wear a pair of pants on his head a pawty attire!
Once I've taken his photo, will try to persuade him to do a post.

Just a few bear jokes to start you off...

Q: Have you ever hunted bear?
A: No, but I've been shooting in my shorts!

Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!

Q: What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A: A bear faced lyre!

Love & hugs

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Woot! Happpy Blogaversary Bob! That looks like some serious party food - i'll be there fer sure!

Here's a joke......

Good King Wenceleslas went out to the pizza parlour and ordered a pizza. The assistant asked Do you want your usual?
Deep pan, crisp and even?

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Good jokes, peepol! HAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Where does a Grizzly Bear sit?

Anywhere he wants.

Joe Stains said...

I will totally come to the pawty!! Here is my joke:

Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!

Sir Woodstock said...

Good Afternoon dear lad!

Was so delighted to recieve your pawty invitation.
What a very special occasion - 500 post - my - I do have a long way to go to catch up with you!

And, must say, the things you youngsters enjoy - pant pawties.
They would have been frowned on, in my time.
Mother has insisted on embarrassing me with a photograph too.
It is regretably on my blog.

And, my joke offerings:-
Q: What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A: A teddy boar!

Q: What's a teddy bears favorite pasta?
A: Tagliateddy!

Q: What should you call a bald teddy?
A: Fred bear!

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pooh!

Q: What is a bear's favorite drink?
A: Koka-Koala!


Am bringing Polly Pola with me.
She asures me you are already acquainted!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
A.Bananna said...

Here I am bob! I would not miss this for the world!!

Q: Why did the man put the car in the oven?
A: He wanted a hot rod!

Q: What do you get when you cross a rottweiler and a collie?
A: A dog who will bite off your arm and then run for help.

Q: What kind of horse goes out at night?
A: Nightmares

Congrats on the 500th post!!! Cheers my Friend!

Rachelle said...

Hi Bob! Here's a couple of blonde jokes for ya!

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend ?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'


Here's one about you! You smart bear you :))
Bob and the Blonde

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around
9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and
stared up at the TV.

The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was
covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building
preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you think he'll

Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.'

The blonde replied, 'Well, I bet he won't.'

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, 'You're on!'

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy
on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling
to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her
$20 to Bob, saying, 'Fair's fair. Here's your money.'

Bob replied, 'I can't take your money, I saw this
earlier on the 5 PM news and so I knew he would jump.'

The blond replied, 'I did too; but I didn't think
he'd do it again.'

Bob took the money...
Ps- nose hugs and please give one to your mummy! *smooches*

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


YEAH, he wud as well!!!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Joe Stains,

Yor joke is so bad it's good! HAHAHAAA! Now get away from those muffins yuv alreedy had 4!!!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Sir Woodstock & Polly!

Wy hullo!!!!
An I hartilly approov of the warin ov pants on the hed, by the way! HAHAHAHAA! Grayte jokes!!! Yor a good pawty dood!!!


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


We need jokes in English or Bear English, pleez.....

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

A Bananna!!!

Thank for the jokes!!!
I like the collie dog wun!! HEHEHEH!!!

No Cool Story said...

Happy 500th Bob!!
Thank you for inviting me to your pawty :)

"An Eskimoo" Made me :D

Pawty jokes:
Q.What did the slug say when riding on the back of a snail?
A. Wheeeeeeeee!

Q.Why do fish live in salt water?
A. Because pepper makes them sneeze!

May we get to enjoy 500 more Bob!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


they wud good.
SO good to see yu heer!!!! It reelly is!!!! Yu can bring that paca in if yu like, so long as he duzzent chew, eet or poo on the pant pen.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

No Cool Story,



Good to see yu heer! fancy a darnce?

San said...

Congratulations, Bob! And thank you for inviting me to such a happening pawty.

Despite being scandalized by the pole dancer, I am having a grayt time--your Mummy's caykes are delectable. I toast you with a bottle of ginger beer!

Joke: A horse walks into a bar and sits down at the bar. The bartender walks over and says, "Hey, buddy, why the long face?"

CHEERS! Looking forward to the next 500 posts...

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Hullo San!!! Thanks for coming! Hey yor the ferst wun to menshun the pole darncer! How menny times did yu watch the video? :@D

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Wow! Wot a party! I can't see the Pole Danser cos i'm at werk. Will have to wait till I get home. Save me a Ginger Beer and Bailey's please, wiv biskits to dunk. Ta muchly. (Dansin the Funky Chicken even as we speak).

Lynda (Granny K) said...

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven.

Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde,

'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?

The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'

The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied,

'I have.' 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?'

St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.'

And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer

to stand, but you need to get the third and final question

absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.

Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'


'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer.

Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked

'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billyboiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven...

San said...

Bob, I'm just popping in to watch the video again. Also to let you know I posted an invitation to your party over at my blog. I hope you don't run out of treats. Oh well, the pole dancer will keep them occupied.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Hullo agen , Lynda!!! Thank yu for the jokes HAHAHAHA an I see yu spottid the Baileys!!! Hehehe!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...


Wa-hey! THanks! The mor the merryer!!!!!


Julie said...

Wa Hay! Wot a grayte Pawty! I love ginger beer and Bailey's! And what a great back rub hehehe!

I'm not very good at jokes so I'll be back layter when I've had a think - or looked some up ;o)

Have a grayte frolick and here's to 500 more posts.

Julie said...

What do you call a cat with a spade?


What do you call a cat without a spade?


I told you I wasn't good at jokes! lol

Ok Here's another one -

What did the 300 pound mouse say?

Here kitty, kitty, ktty!

Helena said...

Bob, put my pants back in the drawer, please.

DILLY said...


-Hoo be thare?


-Go away!


A.Bananna said...

I just love the pole dancer! How cute! The kids enjoyed it also!! :)

I also posted an invite on my blog just for you!

david mcmahon said...

Bob, the world is a brighter and a funnier and a warmer and a more creative place, thanks to you and your Mum.

Your Mum is one of the most creative people around - and that's no joke.

I woulda brought a bear from Canada to your party - but it was a bit grisly!!

Jackie said...

A man shot all the ducks down on a fairground stall. The owner said congratulations, and gave him the prize. A tortoise.
A bit later the man came back and had another go. He won again. The stallholder asked him what prize he wanted.'I'll have another one of those crusty meat pies please'.

Maggie May said...

Congratulations Mr Bear! Let there be another 500! Do you understand?
The Irish chocolate was delicious!

SandyCarlson said...

Great post. Loved the video. Congratulations.

Draffin Bears said...

Congratualtions on your 500th post!
You have been very busy.

thank you for the invite to your party great food and ginger beer.
Just remember though, not to eat too much.

Hugs and best wishes for the next 500.


Anonymous said...

You wear them briefly,
And in short,
You wear them chiefly
For support.
Whoever met you
Without a pair
Would not forget you-
You'd be bare!

Your underwear. (LOL!)

Anonymous said...

Get it? Get it? (nudge)
Bare = Bear
Underwear = Pants


oh, i've drank too much ginger beer. I think I've wet my panties laughing.

Janette Kearns Wilson said...

How absolutely wonderful....the pole dance??!I just laughed a lot.

Stanley said...

Hey, Bobber Boy!!

Congratulations on this historic landmark! We are definitely celebrating here in GooberStan.

I'll be checking back throughout the weekend to see who all is at the pawty. Is Elton John showing up anytime soon? What about the Queen? (You can let me know by email.)

As for jokes... I don't really tell them. I mostly tell stories. But, I will write a few haiku for you and post them on here after a little while.

Goober love & smooches,

Mack said...

Hey fuzzy dude! Mack T. Beans here.
Mom says if you allow it, I can come to your party. She wants me to pitch in and bring some refreshments, so since it will be in jolly old England I would like to bring some biscuits, lollies, fizzy drinks, curries, cream cakes and crisps! Woohoo!

Stardust said...


I'm heer! Me luv pawties!!

I reelly shuldn't cum joke-less, but me no jokes today. Joke-dry... An gosh, so mani potenshol winners arownd.

Still, maye I giv yu sum huggies? Nose hugsss...

Alex L said...

I don't know if I know any clean jokes Bob, oh wait theres one I remember

What goes 'ho ho ho plop'.
Santa Clause laughing his head off!

Terrible I know. Congrats on the 5oo posts Bob, and to your mum as well for turning the computer on for you ;)

BumbleVee said...

Thanks for caykes and choklit...oh, YUM>...

I wanted to write you a funny pome..

But,was busy all day;not at home..

Then when finally I found some time.

Couldn't come up with a funny rhyme..

not even a serious line or two

But wanted to wish 500th to you!!!

so, better late than never

happy day to the best bear ever.

... and tomorrow I'm stoppin' in to see you all hung over and lying about with big heads...ahhahahhaha

Emily said...

Congratulations Bob! Beary best wishes to you from Australia!! Here's a couple of jokes:

What do you call a man in a raincoat?

What do you call two men in raincoats?

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head (ow)?

What do you call a man without a shovel in his head?

Grumpy Ted said...

This is a lovely party Bob! There aren't that many bears here though ..... still never mind.

*burp* - whoops, sorry, too much ginger pop!

Anyway ..... Two humans walked into a building. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it!!!! - tee hee ha ha - silly humans!!

I'm going home now - I mustn't be out too long - thank you for a loverly time ....

SnOwY bEaR said...

HIYA BOB *noze rub* Conratz on 500 adventurz.... cule pawrty matey .... I see Grumpz has bin in ... he resmebles his kudler so much ;-)

ok I need a joke

this polar bear goes into a bar.
He calls the barman over
"Barman can I have a ........
a pint of beer"
'Sure' says the barman 'but can I ask why the big pause?'
Polar bear ' ahem I am a POlar bear!!!!'

[Pause & Paws....??? ok I will just take a small cake and slip out of the back door >>>>>>>]

Have a great pawrty weekend x

mrsnesbitt said...

Hey Bob! Congratulations little fella! Nearly missed this great occasion but here I am!....oh and here's me e jokes!

Q: How do you hire a teddy bear?
A: Put him on stilts!

Q: What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A: A polo bear!

Q: Why do polo bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear place!

Q: What do polo bears have for lunch?
A: Ice burger!

Q: What's a teddy bears favorite pasta?
A: Tagliateddy!

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A: They both have 'the' as their middle names!

Q: Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?
A: It lives on ice!

Q: Why shouldn't you take a bear to the zoo?
A: Because they'd rather go to the cinema!

Q: What is a bear's favorite drink?
A: Koka-Koala!

Q: Why was the little bear so spoiled?
A: Because its mother panda'd to its every whim!

Lee said...

Happy 500th Post, Bob! I popped over here from San's place and am delighted with the goings on! What a party! Loved the pole dancer and I'm planning on sharing some of the jokes at work. The food looks delicious and I love ginger beer. Thank you so much!

Peace! & Joy!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Wa-heyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! Hullo agen evrywun!!! It's saterday heer an we ar still pawtyin on down! Hehehehee weer off to Granny's howse now. Be bak tomorro nite. WOW wat a lot ov jokes!!!! HAHAHAHA some ov them neerly wet me meself :) but that's allowd. "It's ma pawty an I'll pee if I want to..." HAHAHAHA



Shrinky said...

Awww, I love the pole-dancer, does he do home visits? Wow, you sure know how to throw a party, what a great bunch of friends you have in here. This ginger beer rocks, and those muffins.. mmmn, do we get to take party bags home?

ok, jokes..

St. Peter decides to have a moan at Jesus about how he's never been given a day off to enjoy himself in heaven, because he's always greeting people at the pearly gates. Jesus, taking pity, decides to cut him a break and take over from him for a day, but he's a wee bit nervous as to what the job involves. St Peter reassures him he only needs to run through a few questions to find out who is on the "in" list.

Sure enough, after the first few arrivals, Jesus soon gets into his stride and is feeling more relaxed. When an elderly gentleman comes through for processing, Jesus runs through the questions again:-





Jesus starts to think this is ringing a bell. "Do you have any children?"

"Yes, I had a son."

"Er, did this son have any distinguishing marks, by any chance?"

"Oh yes, he sure did - he had a hole through both his hands and through his feet.."

Throwing down the golden quill, Jesus springs towards him, arms open wide, "Dad!!"

Surprised and slightly incredulous, Joseph asks, ...


(I'm off for some more of those muffins, I'll pop back soon!)

dEliRiuM said...

Hey Bob,

Congrats on your 500th post, and thank you for inviting me to your party!! It sure sounds fun. I love cookies and Baileys... (have you tried the new Baileys with mint? It's lovely!)

Q: Why can a man never starve in the Great Desert?

A: Because he can eat the sand which is there.

Q: But what brought the sandwiches there?

A: Why, Noah sent Ham, and his descendants mustered and bred.

Morgan in Pittsburgh said...

How do you keep a bear from charging?
Make him pay cash!.......BOL, BOL, BOL! great party! your pal, Morgan

T.B. Superstar said...

Bob! Way to go on your 500th post, buddy! Unfortunately, I don't have any jokes to share. :( Thanks for sharing all those yummy treats with us! Grayum, move over so I can have some Bailey's!!!
*runs off to the fridge to grab a Guiness to celebrate*

T.B. Superstar said...

Okay....I did drag out a few jokes.

#1-A guy walks into a bar with an alligator and asks the bartender if he serves lawyers.
Yes we do says the bartender.
Great says the guy, I’ll have a beer and my alligator will have a lawyer!!

#2-There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy andAntonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways.
In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in

Faithfully they attended parochial School fromkindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their
vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation,
became priests.

Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it
was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a cut above
Timothy Murphy in all respects.

Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop
and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least, and the Catholic world
knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two
who would become the Next Pope.

In time the Pope did die, and the College of
Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone had expected,
white smoke rose from the chimney and
the world waited to see whom they had chosen.

The world, Catholic, Protestant and Secular, was
surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope !

Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was
devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio
knew he was the better qualified.

With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a
private session with them in which he candidly asked, " Why Timothy ? "

After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered
man and rose to reply. " We knew you were the better of
the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader
of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SECOLA.

#3-I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

Hope you enjoyed those!

A.Bananna said...

everyone must be all paried out. LOL.

Lynette said...

Happy 500th post day!! I love your blog, it's so fun, I heard about your pawty in San's blog. Congrats!! :)

Koobuss said...

Two cannibals were preparing supper. One says to the other, "You know, I never liked my mother-in-law. The other one says, "Well then, just eat the potatoes."

Congratulations on your 500th post, Bob! That is quite an accomplishment1

Great party!

Love and Koobuss Kisses,

Asta said...

Phew, I finally made it..I had to take my chiffon dwess of (I was at the Wainbow woom at a pawty) anyway, I have my blue pantses on my head and could I pleez have one of those tasty caykes???

Thank you, now hewe's my joke:A guy is driving around Oklahoma and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a damn liar. He never did any of that stuff."
Oh and:
Where should you never take a dog?
The ''flea'' market"

What do you get when you cross a dog , a flower, and a vegetable?


Happy Aminevewsawawy Bob!
love you
smoochie kisses

imac said...

Q. Have you ever Photographed Bear?

A. No, but I have in my shorts.

Hello Bob, you dont know me, but I have heard a lot about YOU.....and your sister Dilly.

imac said...

Me again, fergot to say Love that Pole Dancer, wasnt any panties to stick the notes in ----so -----I kept them.haha.£££££££££££

imac said...

AWWW shucks - fergot to say congrats.

CherryPie said...

Woohoo congratulations :-) Sorry I am a little late. Here a some jokes:

Q What do Winnie the Pooh and Rupert the Bear have in common?
A Their middle names.

Q Why do bears have fur coats?
A They’d feel silly in plastic macs.

A teddy bear who worked on a building site arrived for work one morning to discover that his pick was missing. He went to see the foreman, who told him, “It’s because today’s the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked!

Asta said...

Hiwing that Pole dancew was a stwoke of geenuss
Thank you fow a pawfect pawty
smoochie kisses

Molly and Taffy said...

Well done on reaching 500 posts Bob. That is totally awesome. Sorry we did not pop along earlier this weekend but we have been away with the hoomans.
Your party looked great fun.

Molly and Taffy xx

MISS PEACH ~(^.^)~ said...

Dearest Bob! conCATulations on your 500th post. Blogging is such fun and I am so happy to know you. Princess Dilly is lucky to have you as a housemate...she is a fine wagon... Scortch send all his love to her over the big pond.
It is wonderful to be here with you...I see my cousin Blue is here in fine form. I od not have a joke to tell you sorry, I am a lame kitty...all I know is 'what is black and white but read all over? A newspaper!'
Miss Rosie bear sends her very best regards...she is enamoured with Sir Woodstock don't you know.
Mommy send her best wishes for another 500 posts.
My Lapdaddy has a joke for ya...'how do you know a blond has been using your computer? There is whiteout on the screen!'
Mommy will have an eyerish chalkolatte please.
Love from us at the cozy cottageXOXOXOXOX

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Gosh wat a pawty that waz! Thanks for coming, evrywun!!!!


Sir Woodstock said...

Good Afternoon young Bob!

Wonderful pawty but supect the Ginger Beer was spiked!

Mother to torment me tagged me for a name game, so am passing it on to you.


Chalkhills Collective said...

Bob, I'm so sorry I missed your party. My blog feed thingy has only just told me about it! Phyth will be very cross with me and very disappointed.

Looks like you all had a beary good time. Keep on going for the next 500.

love from Chalky and a very grumpy Phyth.

i beati said...

a wonderful party been awhile since I had ginger beer.I love your frolicking above Sandy