WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Diskuverys

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: yes, for harf a cow. Mummy is low-carbin agen.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5 (from Daddy, cos he sed he herd my beads russlin on my way, wich I think is jus bead-person prejudiss, to be onnist) /10
  • Day Score: 7.63982/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Hey I've bin bizzy, an bin carfterin Mummy agen, wich is wy I dident hav time to blog- an then today I notist that SHEEZ bin updaytin HER blog, so I thort, well, sod this!!! That just aint rite, laydy. So! Heer's a kwik peek at wat I've bin doin laytely (wen I wassent mayking her Laydyship's tea an runnin a Bear Massardge serviss up an down her showlders.)

*** *** ***
This is the day we Bears discuvered speshol biskits an BEAR SIZE doh-nuts wer hiding owt in a fancy tin in the kitchen. I thort it waz empty. Yewzly is. But wun day, wile sornterin parst, I thort I'd just hav a chek inside an mayke shor.....just as well I did! Scrum!

My luvly-jubbly new jumper from Mrs Nesbitt is very handy for smugglin biskits, wich yu will see heer if yu look closely an ar not foold by my look ov compleet an utter innosense:

*** *** ***
THIS is the day wen I did a kwik spyin misshun in between Mummy's naps.
I diskuverd wy the bloke nex dor is so miserabol so mutch ov the time.
He apparently ownly haz enuff PANTS to chaynge them evry 4 days, az demonstraytid by the sok-to-pant rayshio on his washin line, heer:I ov corse hav nothin agenst warin pants for 4 days. I think it shoze grayte appreeshyayshun for the full extent ov PANT POTENSHUL. It is eezily dun:

day 1: normal pant warin
day 2:
bak-to-frunt pant warin
day 3: rite-way-rownd inside-owt pant warin
day 4:
inside-owt bak-to-frunt pant warin

Yu see? It is eesily acheevabol an kwite all rite to do (so long as yu don't eet curry for the 4 days in kwestchun). No! I'm not beraytin him for this at all! I'm jus sayin, if he HAZ to do this, then he oviossly duzzent hav enuff pants for a dam good frolick, an that is enuff to mayke enywun miserabol.

*** *** ***
This is the day wen ANUTHER present arrived for Dilly. Julie sent her this, amung uther things, but cos it waz rapt in BLOO AN BROWN, she sed that I probly needid to open it as if it wer for her it wud be, oh, maybe PINK AN GREEN. Yu think?

But eevn tho the culler ov the rappin sed "BEAR!" an the insides sed "CHOKLIT, WICH BEARS REELLY REELLY LIKE!" she sed it waz oviusly HERS arfter all cos sed choklit waz" Dino-Wagon" shaypet.
YU SEE WAT I HAV TO PUT UP WIV AROWND HEER?
YU SEE?

*** *** ***

But yesterday me an LBBBJ fownd a BEAR SIZE pot ov appol an ginger jam: -so we hav claymd this an tayken it into custerdy.
Com to think ov it, sumthin custerdy wud go very well wiv appol an ginger jam. A nice steamd puddin, maybe. Or a cayke. Well, enyway, we shall be keepin this asit waz oviossly ment for us. An Mummy is on anuther cow diet. So it will help her.

-yu see that?
Yu see?
Eevn arfter so mutch neglekt, I am still a very helpful Bear.

Bye fer now!

17 comments:

imac said...

I noes jes ow yer feal Bob.
Mr Julie.

Julie said...

Eeeeeeuw! I think nextdoorman should get some more underpants so he can frolic! Defnitly!

Yummy downuts! Choklit too! Mrs Nesbitt knew what she was doin wen she mayde that jumper.

Ooh! I'm sorry my parsol was confewsin :o(

Joe Stains said...

omdog just one pair of underpants, that is not cool buddy. Maybe you can have someone knit him some more, that would be comfy I am sure. I do hope you got some of that chocolate to wash down those donuts. you have lots of yummy food at your place bob!

CherryPie said...

Those doughnuts look yummy!!

i beati said...

I can tell you are a true officianado of pants ..Neat tips..great gifts Sandy

chewy said...

I'm very hungry after reading your post. (pssst) I spy a biscuit under your blue jumper.

Alex L said...

Thats a crapload of donuts. I'm jealous Bob, I'm jealous.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Imac,

Hullo! It's nice to kno sumwun appryshyates wat I haff to put up wiv!

:@}


Julie,

Hullo!

Don't worry bowt that parsol, I nikt wun ov the choklits enyway HAHAHAHAHAHA! It waz skrum. Ta very mutchly.

:@}



Joe Stains,

Wuddent it be funny if he had woollen pants an waz allergik to wool. HAHAHA heed hav wun skratchy bot. HAHAHAHA!
Yay the food rownd heer aint bad.
Spashly as now Mummy's on anuther cos diet.
That meens no shugar, so all the mor for me an Daddy.
:@}


Cherrypie,

They wer skrum! Daddy Bear cud fit 4 in his mouth at the sayme time!!!

:@}


Sandy,

A troo offishernardo, that's me, yep! Hehehe! Nose hugs!

:@}



Chewy!

AAARGH! YOR NEW FOTO MAYDE ME JUMP!
Hehhee... knew not mutch wud get parst yu. Hehe.

:@}



Alex,

A crapload. How mutch is that? If yu kno how mutch Mummy poos, that's a lot. HAHAHA! A crapload. I like that. I mite borro that! Haha!

:@}

Maggie and Mitch said...

OMG, those donuts are making us drool! Geez, you're surrounded by them Bob! We are so jealous!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Ms. Creek said...

i'll trade you some of my cake for some of your donuts!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Maggie an Mitch,

they mayde a very comfy chair as well a taysty scooby-snak!! Imagin havin so menny donuts yu can afford to sit on them! Hehehe! Wat a dreem!


Ms Creek,

Wat type ov cayke?

:@}

chewy said...

Bob!
Easter Island Sunflowers is also what my Daddy said they looked like.

Asta said...

Oh Bob
Whewe shall I begin..I haven't talked to you fow the longest time. You awe a most considewate beaw to youw Mum(I hope she is feeling all wight!)
Sad about having a gwumpy next doowman. ouw doowmen awe quite fwiendly and always wemembew to give me scwitchies and a big smile, but I digwess. He obviously had a vewy depwived non-fwolicking childhood and no beaw to show him the joys of fwolicking.
Those donutses lookextwa yummie, maybe you could dip them in the gingew apple if thewe's no custawd. Just a suggestion.
I wish you and dilly could have joined us in austwia fow Mywna and gilbewts's wedding..I think you would have enjoyed it..Lots of fwolicking was involved(and sachew towte)

smoochie kisses
ASTA

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Chewy,

grayte minds think alike! Hi 5 to yor Dad!!! Waheyy!!!

:@}

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Asta,

thank kew for the smootchie kisses, wich always tikkol me! Hehehehe! I hav desydid to sayve the appol an ginger jam for wen we hav sum Oirish Soda Bred. I'll mayke speshol toast an put melty butter all over it so it dribbols down me paws. Slurp!

:@D

Shrinky said...

You are the bestest, most helpful bear around, little Bob. I hope your mummy is back up on top again - give her a big hug from me, will you?

When I was really, really big, I refused to peg my knickers on the line - maybe Mr. Miserable next door has a good reason to not peg all his too - like, um, he can't get all the skid marks out, or they have great big holes in them?? Just wondering, is all..

Michael House said...

pants ar silli. thay ar for humans onlee. the onlee yews ov pants is for snuggling on in a lorndree barskit. after thay hav bene woshed, ov corse. luv Ted, kat