Crismoss is comin an Mummy's gettin fat...

Scores since Saturday:

• Gills: oh, don't.
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 haha! /10
• Overall Score: 7.169374289 /10
• Advent calendar pikcher: Saterday: it's either an angel agen, or a laydy standin too neer the fire. Sunday: another bloke wiv a scroll. Today: 3 kings ridings llamas. Altho, Mummy sez they're camels, but if they ar, they're the funnyest lookin camels I've ever seen. Not that I've seen that menny, but I cud still dror a better wun, eevn tho I've ownly seen very few ov 'em.

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!


Yu may recall that on Saterday I sed that if Gillingham dident beet Bournemouth ov all peepol, seein as they wer bottom of the leegue, then I wud chew my foot:

Nuff sed.

Moovin on....

Mummy has been feelin "kwite bloated". This is wat she calls it wen she carnt get into her big jeans. She has 2 kinds ov jeans: normal jeans an big jeans. Big jeans ar for just arfter Berfdays, Easter an Crismoss. Well, sheez a tad worreed as it is the week BEFOR Crismoss an she carnt get into her fat er, I meen, big jeans. We think it may hav sumthing to do wiv the way she ate 15 eggs in less than a week.

It's troo. Larst Munday she mayde herself a 3-egg omlet. Then the next day she got up an thort, "Well, blow me! I fancy another wun!" an so she ate another 3-egg omlett. Then the next day the sayme thing happend agen, an the next day, an on till Friday. 15 eggs in all. (An yet she still mannidges to poo mor than wunce a day. Yu hav to admire her dedycayshun.)

Enyway. I thort that at leest this wud meen the cakes an biskits we got in fer Crismoss wud be safe. But oh, no! She sez she has to test them to mayke shor they ar good enuff for Crismoss. So far she has tested her way throo 3 Walnut Whips, 1 box of Marks and Spencer's Choccie Biccies an 6 Eccle-fekken Tarts (it's not a phrase I lernt at football, that, it's reelly wat they're calld.) At this rate we will hav the most tested an refined Crismoss Feast on record. I bet there's been royalty that hassent had its Crismoss fare tested kwite as well as we hav.

Still. This duzz meen that Crismoss is reelly on its way now. Did yu notiss my new Crismossy stationery at the top? AND! Weev got the tree up!

We bort a real wun. It had been dug up for Crismoss larst yeer but no wun bort it. So the peepol at the farm left it in its pot all yeer an as it dident die, we bort it, thinkin, this is ALIVE an therefor will not SHED it's prikly fingers all over my carpet an get into small soft paws. Hmmm... I'll let yu kno how that theory goze. Meenwile, heer ar sum pik's from this eevnin:

Ferst, a littol fetilizing to help it.....

Ta-daaahhhhh! Hang on! It looks bigger than this in reel life, onnist!

We bort theez angels wen we wer in Ireland. They hav shamroks insted ov wings. Ha! They ar too hevvy to put on the tree tho, so I've stood them at the bottom.

I jus wish to hav it on record that I had nothing to do wiv the choyse ov this angel, wich Mummy an Dilly sneekt into the howse wen I wassent lookin....

Dilly is fassinaytid wiv the woolly snowflakes an carnt understand wy she carnt eet them.

Heer's me an Sam. I like to sit an stare at the lites on a Crismoss tree, an sam has never seen wun befor. So we apent sum time this eevnin just relaxin underneeth it....

Bye fer now!