Cheeky Bears!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: we playd on Saturday an lost 7 - nil!!!! It waz agenst Shrewsbury (full nayme Shrewd cheetin scum town). It waz terrerbol. An jus goze to proov that they wer cheetin, coz utherwize how wud they hav got 7? Enyway. Lukkily Mummy had replayst my choklit peanuts that sheed skofft in the week, so I waz abol to hav lots ov consolaytory munchies.
  
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 910
• Day Score: 7.421/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Oh boy! This mayde me larf and larf! This is from an emayle that Mummy's frend, Beth, sent her from Maine. This is wat the emayle sed:

A family that lives on the outskirts of Anchorage, Alaska, decided to build a sturdy, colourful playground for their 3 and 4 year old boys. They lined the bottom with smooth-stoned gravel all around to avoid knee scrapes and other injuries. They finished building it one Friday evening and were very pleased with the end product. The following morning, the mother was about to wake up the boys and have them go and play in their new play centre. This is what she saw from the upstairs window:

Jus look at the wun on the slide!!!! WA-HEYYY!!!!!!!!! Cheeky Bears!!!!! HAHAHA!

Oh boy! Wat fun!

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Mummy is still sleepy an aykey. I keep maykin her cups ov tea. Tonite weer havin curry for dinner, so maybe that will spark her up a bit. Hope so!

Bye fer now!

It's a seege!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no, but we wun on Saterday- 3-0 to Grimsby (full nayme: Grim-an-dull-don't-go-thare). Hurray!
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.453/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I'm bak! Wa-heyy!

Sorry for the gap. Lots to do rownd heer. An Mummy's been doin sleep olympiks agen an hassent been arownd to press the big button on the pewter for me. I can do most ov the rest ov it meself, but I just havent got kwite enuff oof! to push that big wun in.

Sayme wiv the telly. If it's on standby I can press the button on the remote. In fakt, I'm an ace button presser, me, an can skip between cartoons wen the ads ar on wivowt missin eny ov it. THAT'S ace button pressin, that is. But if the telly is off compleetly I carnt kwite get the big button. (I can get very annoyd if they leev it switcht rite off wen The Simpsons ar dew. Do yu kno, I've mist The Simpsons sumtimes throo their blaytant lak ov forthort. Tsk!)

So enyway. I mannidged to catch her heddin for the kettol an steer her zombie-like self towards the pewter, repeetidly charntin "Presssssssss the button.... pressssssssssss the button...." an wa-hey! Heer I be.

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The uther day Daddy brort home a wooden box. We wer all a bit bemewsd as we dident reelly kno wat it waz for. Then Dilly deesydid it waz a fort:

We desydid to play "Seege the Carsol!" an Dilly sed it waz OK, so long as she cud play the part ov the carsol dragon (oh kell soopreez). The WIndowsill Bear Family joind her up thare, as the Iffy Norman Lords, an the rest ov us skayled the cliff as the Hard-Dun-By-Ferroshus-Celts:

HA! They kept herlin Choklit Peanuts at us an mayking us fall off. But we wun in the end. We pikt up the Choklit Peanuts an ran away to Scotland (the kitchen) whare we ate them all. HA!

Then Mummy cayme in from the garden an arskt for the box. She took it owtside. We followd wiv the camra:

Ah! I see! It waz a Hedgehog Howse!

Mummy put it heer, in a snug littol shelterd playce rownd the bak ov the howse. She trimmd bak the budlyer bush an piled up sum brarnchis on top, to keep it warm an disgize it:

Now, wen we put owt his supper (ov corned beef, oats, seed, nuts an froot) we ar goin to moov it closer an closer to his hut. We hope he will desyde to sleep in thare this winter!

Bye fer now!

Wat a week!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no- but the uther day we had a pre-seeson frendly an we wun 8-1 (!!!!) to Faversham.
• Simpsons: yes, but it waz anuther wun ov those Halloween speshols an LBBBJ gets a tad nervoss ov thoze so Mummy distraktid him wiv a leaflet abowt manuka hunny.
• Tesco: no, an we need cow-juice. Mummy went to Sainsbury's. Pah! An we STILL need cow-juice cos she fergot it. Wich jus shows wat goin to Sainsbury's duzz to yer brain.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5 Sam got me from behind the curtain/10
• Day Score: 7.73836/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Phew! It's been bizzy rownd heer!

Ferst, the washin masheen broke down- and I got the blayme, jus fer stuffin an extra 17 pares ov pants in. (Well, pant watchin is better than daytime tv an wen it's windy owtside wat's a Bear to do?)

Next, Daddy orderd a new wun off the internet and they sed they wud tayke the old wun away an install the new wun, but ownly if we disconnektid the old wun.

SO! Friday mornin, we got up erly to do that. But we cuddent find the stopcok to tern the warter off. We had to open up the trap-dor in the street an tern it off there. Lukilly it ownly ternd off OUR warter, nowun else's. But it still ment that Mummy cuddent flush the toylet and, as I may hav menshund from time to time, she duzz poo an awful lot, so it waz a tense mornin. Daddy wassent worreed, he went off to werk, whare they hav fully funkshoning toylets. (An if Daddy is goin to yews it, that's the leest yu need it to be.)

The men arrivd by 9am an put in the new masheen an testid it. It dident werk!! So they had to tayke 2 broken wuns bak wiv them. An we havent seen them since!!! An thare is washin piling up everywhare.

I'm gettin a tad worreed that I shall soon hav no cleen pants to frolick. Agen, Daddy issent worreed, as he can ware them inside owt an get twice the distance owt ov them. Hehee.

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Meenwile, Mummy's wide-awake arty crarfty phase seems to be comin to an end, an she haz re-enterd the sleep olympics. She has spent most ov this week asleep, wich is a shayme, as it has been hot an sunny at larst, an she is missin it. She haz been a bit down, an eevn sed wun day, wat is thare to get up for? But we convinst her that at the very leest, thare waz a cup ov tea, an she got up. I've bin givin her hed-hugs!

I went into town wiv her on the bus an I took her to the crarft shop whare I got sum new cullerin pens. That sort ov cheerd her up a bit. She likes gettin me things. Hoo can blayme her?

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2 ov yu hav emayled me abowt yor crarfty challenge peeces, so I will put fotoes ov them up in anuther post. Thanks!

An thanks to TB for emayles, too! He haz bin lookin into playin that grayte Bear gayme, "Bear! Not-a-bear!" an watchin my instrukshonal video on it. I think I mite hav a gayme ov it meself, TB, speshly as thare ar no darnsin pants to watch goin rownd an rownd!!!

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Sorry no fotoes today. But heer is a YouTube vid that Mummy's frend Beth sent her. Beth livs in Maine. Enyway, this is reelly cewt- a bayby moose playing wiv a sprinkler, then he goze an gets his twin bruther an his mummy, an they all hav a frolick!! It mayde Mummy smile- hope it maykes yu smile too!

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Daddy Window-sill Bear is goin to the optishun tomorro, cos he keeps borrowin Mummy's glarsses so she sed sheel get him his own. He waz a bit offendid at ferst, an thort she ment she just dident want to share wiv him. But then we poyntid owt that hers wer akchewly 3 times the size ov his hed. Hey ho!

Bye fer now!

Wat Did The Werms Do?

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no - but weer playin today, so bloo undeez on, peepol!
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no (do yu kno, they'v eech bin wivowt me this week! It's troo! That's at leest 2 mist opperchewnitys fer me to ride in the shoppin trolly. I sumtimes wunder if I am properly appryshyaytid rownd heer.)
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7 ish 10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Sorry fer the intermishun, evrybody. Mummy's bin doin Olympik Sleepin.

I've bin bizzy carfterin her, an tryin to cheer her up wen she diskuverd that Daddy had eeten all the choklit wen she wassent arownd, an not sayvd her eny, an not sed enything till she suggestid they both hav sum an share it. Then he had to come cleen. An she thort, well I mite as well jus go bak to bed then. An she did. An I've bin jumpin up an down by the compewter sayin "Press the button! Press the button! My public ar waytin for me!" but to no avayle. Yu jus carnt get the staff nowadays.

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So enyway, on to wat I've bin mewsin abowt....

It all startid cos Mummy haz Radio 4 on in the mornin. An at a kworter to 8 evry mornin they do "Thort Fer The Day" wich is wen sumwun religuss coms on an sez, "Yu kno this bit on the news wen blah blah blah is hapnin? Well issent that a bit like wen Jesus/Budha/the proffit/Rabbi O0jamaflip sed such an such? An Mummy sez well, no, not reelly, not unless yor stretchin it a long long way cos yor gettin a fee. In fakt, she yewzerly terns it off cos it's too errly to get annoyd. But larst week I herd it.

Sumwun waz tolkin abowt the Garden ov Eeden an the snayke. I waz fassinaytid as I always knew that reptyles wer up to sumthing.

But my eers wer up-prikt at the menshun ov the snayke's punishment- to crawl on his belly.

Wat the?

How iz that a punishment to a snayke?

I can now imagin a gazelle bein in trubbol in The Garden of Eeden, an bein very nervoss abowt it an gettin a summons. Off he goze, all shakey an apologetic. An then God sez, "Becos yu've bin a norty gazelle, yor goin to me punisht- from now on yu will PRONK!"

"Oh! Oh!" sez the gazelle, unabol to beleev his luk, "Oh! Not pronk! Not pronk! Oh, OK. Yes, I do diserve it. I waz very norty so now I hav to pronk. Rite oh." an off he goze, thinkin, "Phew!"

I arskt Daddy bowt this, an he sed, well, maybe the snayke dident yewst to crawl. Maybe he yewst to hav legs.

Wha? But then that meens he waz a lizard! A lizard becayme a snayke? (Hav I jus diskuverd proof ov evolushun in the Byebol? That's gonna upset sum peepol.)

I rekkon on a diffrent explanayshun. I rekkon he yewst to walk abowt on his tayle. Yu kno, how dolfins do wen they tryin to impress yer. Heer's a wee ilustrayshun:

There. That solves it nicely. It also meens that they wud hav had a better vew in the long grarss.

But heer's another thing tho- if crawlin abowt on yer belly is a punishment, wat did the werms do rong?

Aha! So there yu see. Nex time yu see a werm in yer garden, an think it is jus a borin littol thing, or possibly eevn just a snak fer Dilly-types, think agen. It is reelly an arch criminal, sumwun hoo did sumthin very very norty indeed.

Bye fer now!