Tishoo ishooing dewty, an hogs at the dor!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, an Mummy went to Sainsbury's. Pah.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 8 /10
• Overall Score: 7.265/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

Sorry for my absence. I hav been on allmost 24 hour tishoo-ishooing dewty.

Daddy brings home all the bugs from the kids at skool an this is A LOT. It has been suggestid to me that kids ar just germ factrys in straynge cullerd trainers. Anyway. He brort wun home a few weeks ago an Dilly tryd to help by maykin him drink tea mayde from flowers (jazzmin??). Her uver helpful effort seemd to consist ov just donnin her nersey hat. I think she thinks that "the hat becometh the nerse" or sumthing.

Yeah, I'm not shor the scary swamp-monster type crocodragon mug helps pertikewlarly, iver, Dilly.

Wen she wassent abowt, I got Daddy sum PROPER tea, yu kno, the brown stuff wiv caffeen in it that yu can dunk yer choklit biskits in. Wunce he had this he started to get better. But then Mummy got the bug.

Now, I offen reed that wen Daddys get colds they get them werse then enywun, but I tell yu IT JUS AINT TROO! Wen Mummy gets the cold it haz the addid effect ov attakin not just her breathin apperatus, but also her tummy an that meens, yes yu kno wat I'm goin to say folks, POO!!!

An lots ov it!!! HAHA! An in all sorts ov cullers, too. Por Mummy. Her throate was sor but her bottom waz sorer.

She is neerly all better now. SO I hope I will hav time to get bak to bloggin proply, an visitin yu all.

*** *** *** *** *** ***
It's gettin dark erly heer, an we ar havin to put owt food for the hedgehogs erlier an erlier eech nite becos they start to arrive for theyer dinner at dusk. They ar coming rownd the frunt ov our howse now as well as the bak, so we put owt a playte for them at eech doorstep. Sum nites they ar both playses at wunce an we sit indors in the middol like bein in a hog sandwich.

They will start to hibernayte nex munth so we hav to try to fatten them up an help them gro big. Heer is a littol wun Mummy reskewd larst winter. It had been too small to hibernayte so we took it in an gayve it to a reskew sentor to carfter throo the winter in a heeted pen:Hedgehogs ar cewt but they ar wun ov thoze animals that get smellier the longer yu hold them. Rabbits ar like this too, an hamsters, an ginnypigs.

Now I'm goin to go an hav sum tea an a choklit Hobnob. I mite drop sum aksidently on perposs, cos we hav a mowse livin in the howse agen, an I kno he likes them.

Bye fer now!!

Fire hazerds an holidays

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, kwik vizit wiv Daddy, cos Mummy's not well, so we got her sum ginger ale. Yum!
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 wa-heyy!/10
• Day Score: 7.85219/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Mummy's not too well at the mo', so I've been carfterin her wiv hed hugs an cups ov tea, an Dilly's been jus sort ov hangin abowt in her Nerse's hat, breevin fire now an then to keep her warm.

Mummy is warin thik clothes, not so much cos ov bein cold, mor cos ov the daynger ov Dilly breevin fire rownd her. So far weev lost the TV gide, a bank staytment, a postcard, three vershons ov a shoppin list an a bar ov choklit, the latter now a molten lump on the arm ov a chair. I hav been told to poynt owt that "she meens well". Yes, well, she singes well, too.

Meenwile, Daddy iz plottin an escaype to Ireland next week an weev all got to deside today wether or not weer goin too. Mummy sed she wud like to go on the plane, an get her ears to pop open, but she duzzent reelly want to go to Ireland. I'm not goin, cos wenever I go I get run over or kidnapt. Grayum sez he duzzent want to go if I'm not goin. So that jus leeves Dilly, an no wun wants to interrupt her at the moment in cayse they looz their eyebrows.

Bye fer now!

Wiv aw god cowds

This week's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yez
• Tesco: yez, fer medsin
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: serspendid dew to too much snot /10
• Week Score: uff /10

HEBO BOT-A-BEARZ!

Today iz my blog'z annibersry- Uh startib dis blog wun yeer ago tobay. I waz goin to hav a big party but um not well enuff. Sssffff. I will hab to hab der party anuver time.

Evrywun heer haz god der cowd. Sff. Daddy had it ferst, but hiz iz neerly gon now. Mummy got it werse than him. I dident understand this. If it's the sayme cowd, wy duzzent she hav it the sayme way? He sed it mewtates. Hmm. I thort mewtayshun waz wen a boy cat goze to the vet an comes bak a gerl. But parrently not!

Erly in the week we herd that Marcelle Marceau had died, so we had a minit's noyze for him:

But sinse then weev awl been jus lyin abowt feelin pawly, reelly.

Bug hevvy cowds call fer big hevvy jumpers:

Mummy haz assma an the cowd haz mayde it werse so we had a charnse to go to Tesco, to the farmassy:

(I don't like the way it sez 'unwantid' nex to me in this pikcher!!!)

Dilly iz immewn to green stuff so she is wantin to look arfter givin owt the pills. I'm a bit worreed abowt this, given her method ov cowntin.

I'm off to mayke mor tea now. Sssff.

Don't ferget to ware bloo tomorro fer the Gills!

Bye fer now! Ssffff.

Dilly's "nersing"

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, the small one
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score:9.5/10
• Day Score: 7/10
• Advent Calender Pikcher: some Roman bloke waving a stick

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

All the health problems round here of late (colds, toothache, wobbly cats) have put Dilly into nurse mode. I'm sure I've mentioned Dilly's thorts on nursing before. Basically, if she puts her "nersing" hat on, she's a nurse. It works the other way round, too, and the biggest problems facing the modern health service in this country are, apparently, caused by our nurses no longer wearing hats. This means that they are not "proper nerses". (Sigh...)

Back in the summer, wen sum beads leaked from my foot after a good game of footie. Grayum (left) gave me the card. Note Dilly's "nersey hat".

Now Dilly has gon a step ferther in her healthcare hobby and come up with her list of "Two T's Fer Healing". (see last Friday fer a recap on how Dilly counts.) She has nagged me to pass it on, so here it is, guys: Time, Tea, Toblerone and The first Queen greatest hits album:

(see last Friday fer a recap on how Dilly counts. If yor brain can stand it wun mor time.)

Bye fer now!

Update On Colds

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: still suspendid, due to snot
• Day Score: 7/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Mummy Window-sill Bear is a very gud nerse. Bears do gud nersing as we are expert huggers, an mummy Bears are the best nerses of all.

So I thort Mummy Window-sill Bear was going to nerse me throo my cold. I even brort my bed downstairs to mayk things easier for her. But what happened? Dilly distractid her in her nerse hat. The two ov them sat talking fer hours about nersey things, an I suspect silly gerly things too. Huh! I was left wiv Grayum an a box ov tishooes.

Meanwhile Mummy seems to be getting better but Daddy gets snottier by the second. He went to skool this morning all sniffy an sed he hopes to pass it on to as many 8 year-olds as possible, as that will mean fewer books to mark next week!

Bye fer now!

Weekend Report: we've all got colds

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: YES! we won 4-1
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: suspendid due to snot/10
• Weekend Score: 6.936/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

My futbol team, Gillingham, beat Bromley Scum Town FC by 4 goals to 1 on Saterday. Wahayy!!! Mummy sed it was becos they are 85 places lower down the tables than us but so what? It was still good and I still had a sellybraytory banarnana:

mmmmm nice banarnana......

Enyway I'v needid sum good distrakshon since larst weekend as we hav all got colds. Dilly thinks that it is good to be green and that green is good. Well it issent wen yor hed is full ov the stuff! Urgh! I hav had to suspend nose hugs indefinitly. There is too much danger ov baths involved if I hug eny ov the noses round here at the moment. Onnistly mummy is coffing fer England. I hav had to award them self-ishooing rights over the tishoo box as I was running to and fro all the time. And I'm not a well bear either! An an an an I needid to pop outside to use a tree yesterday and mummy wouldn't take me cos it was too cold so Grayum caym with me insted an now HE'S got the cold TOO an so that's mummy's fault.

Akchewally we're all blaming daddy cos he's a teacher an so he probly got the germ off wun ov his snotty 8 year olds. Dilly hassent got it. I rekon she is just immune to green stuff. Unfortunately this means she has taken over the house as cheef nerse an is in charge ov dishing out the cold pills.

........sigh............

Hope we can get back to normal soon....

Bye fer now!

Weekend Report

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: YES! We beat Cheltenham 2-1
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: yes, three times! An changed dat kettol at larst
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: Sat= 5.5/10 Sun= 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well as yu can tell from der abuv scores, der weekend woz a bit ov a mixcher. Saterday woz goin well. We went to Tescos 3 times coz I kept hiding der list an dey kept fergetting things. Den, on der drive down to Sheppey we parst 13 Tesco lorrys and 17 lorrys from other food shops. Dis, I new, waz a bad omen.

Daddy an me went to see Gillingham beat Cheltenham (dere full name, I beleev, gleened from wot der fat men awl rownd us were showting, is "Cheltenham-hoo-hav-ownly-jus-com-up-to-dis-division-but-hoo-don't-disserv-it-coz-dere-scum City).

Wen we got bak to Granny's, mummy cookt dinner and Granny throo up. We rusht her to der hopsikal an Dilly insistid on coming coz she sez sheez a nerse. Wunse dere, a REAL nerse (note dat, Dilly, eevn if she wozzent wearing a sodding Nersey hat) lookt arfter Granny an testid her wee, wich made a stik go purpol. WOW I diddent no Granny woz so clever. Den mummy wontid a wee too, an nikt wun ov der stiks to test her own wee. WOW she mayd it go purpol too. Wots rong wiv der wimen in dis famlee? In der end der nerse sed dat it woz just co-in-sid-ants, an dat der purpol wee trik wozzent wot made Granny throw up. In wich cayse I think dis nerse needs help, if she just goze rownd testing peepol's wee for der hellovit. Enyway, she gayve Granny two injectshons an we took her bak home.

By Sunday she woz OK agen. But we were awl worried, espeshally der bears dat liv wiv her. I mean, bears don't reelly do barths so it's a bit nerve-rakking wen sumwun in der saym howse is makin vomit deposits in varius places an formulae.

I wud jus like to poynt out, wiv no preshor from my sponsor at all, dat der meal mummy cookt woz in no way responsibol fer der afformenshoned deposits. Eevn if she DID ferget to put der unyons in till layter so dey diddent cook much.

Dats just a co-in-sid-ants, too.

PHOTO: Dilly sez she iz a nerse so she has to dispense awl der medisins round here. She sez real nerses wear nerse hats.

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