Wa-heyy! Serruptishus Bears In Disgize!!!!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no- good Lor, I do hope they're praktissin.
  
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.126 it waz doin better but then I diskuverd that LBBBJ had sneekt down off the window-sill on a non-T day. Heez gettin well cheeky, that wun. Mummy sed it's jus that he wants to be wiv me but rools is rools an if yu don't hav rools wat do yu get? Anarky, that's wat. /10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Wa-heyyy! I am pleezd to report that the Bear skulpcher at Colchester Carsol waz thare agen this summer! We had sum nice wether theez larst few days, so me an Dilly went up thare wiv the camra to chek on it, an to scare the torrists.

Look! Heer he is!Larst yeer he had a hunny pot in frunt ov him, wiv yello marrygolds in it. Alas, he must be on a diet this yeer!Dilly, as yewzual, waz ownly intrestid in wun thing...Yup, the carsol.

Hang on! Wat's that in frunt ov it?

It's a lion!!!

Heez eevn got wiskers!!!Wa-hey!

We dident reelly go into town alone. Mummy went on the bus an we sneekt into her bag. Well, we dident want to risk her goin owt alone an gettin the rong bus home. Sheez dun that befor. But this time, wiv Daddy at werk an so not abol to come an get her, it mite hav been hours befor sumwun prest the big button on the telly rownd heer. Cuddent risk missin The Simpsons. So we had to go wiv her.

We hung arownd the carsol (they hav a big park wiv a hewge sellekshun ov diffrent leevs to try owt jhee jhee jhee) an Mummy went to the shops whare she went to Sainsburys an bort sossidges an needent hav becos yu can get them at Tesco, whare she haz a loyalty card, an she oviossly duzzent do loyal like we Bears do coz she keeps doin this sorta thing.

MEENWILE..........................

Did yu see wat Bear Naked blogged abowt the uther day????

WOW! Talk abowt Bears in disgize!!!!! He rote abowt Toblerone bars an sed thare was a Bear on the packidging!!!! I DID NOT KNO THIS!!!!!! But look! It's troo!!!!!

BEAR!

WOW!

It jus goze to show, thare may be Bears abowt an yu don't eevn kno it! Keep yor eyes owt for us today, peepol! We may be watchin yu! Woohooohoooooharharharrrrr......

:@D

Bye fer now!

Canterbeary

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: they wuddent play cos they sed I akewsd Sam ov cheetin. Wich I did. But so did he. So thare.
  
• Day Score:7 ish/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Ritey-ho! It haz tayken longer than I sed to get bak to yu wiv theez pikchers, becos theez wuns wer on Daddy's camra, an we cuddent find it!

Then, arfter we did find it, we fownd Daddy engrosst in a compewter gayme ov the Tour De France. Baysikly yu watch a bysikol rayce. Wich is not that eggsytin at the best ov times, if yu arsk me, an that's wen yu watch it on telly an hav adverts to look forward to. But never mind. It jus ment the pewter waz tyed up for a bit.

So! Larst weekend wen we wer at Granny's, Mummy sed, "Let's go to Canterbeary!" an so we ayte our lunch an then awl piled into the car: Me, Dilly, Daddy, Mummy, an Unkol Roy, Mummy's littol bruther.

Canterbeary is abowt 40 minits away from Granny's so Mummy had a nap on the way. An the way bak. She offen duzz that in cars. I'm a tad worreed cos I keep overheerin them tolkin abowt her lernin to drive.

Enyway, ferst I went along to say Wa-Heyy! to the Archbishop an his gaggle ov Bishops....

I arskt if they had enny Toblerone left but they sed they had scofft the lot errlier in the day becos they had to go to Cherch tonite. (If yu mist my explanayshun ov the link between Bishops an Toblerones, yu can reed it heer!)

Then me an Dilly went explorin.... heer's the Cathedral gayte-Corse, Dilly was all eggsytid cos Jesus was green....This is the cathedral. We dident go inside cos thare wer alot ov boys in dresses doin posh singin. Yu kno, the type whare it goze all hi an yu carnt understand wat they're sayin so they keep repeetin it. (No, I don't meen Sting.)
Thare is lots ov old stuff in Canterbeary (eevn wen Daddy issent thare HAAAAAAHAHAHA). This waz the top bit ov a howse-Evrywun taykes pikchers ov theez wuns-

Mor importantly, I fownd the best shop in the city-In fakt, Bears wer evrywhare! Heer ar sum nortikol types-They had a wee Pirate Bear wiv them. I told him I'd been to see The Pirates Of Penzance wen I waz on holiday an arskt if he knew it. He sed, "Aaaarrrrrh!" an winkt. Well, I THINK he winkt. It's hard to tell wen heez got an eyepatch on.This Bear sed he waz calld Sheerlock arfter Sheerlock Holmes.I arskt him if he liket to watch that medicol seereez on telly calld House, cos I rekkon sum ov that is Sheerlock Holmesy. House haz a doktor frend but he iz calld Wilson not Watson. An heez allways solvin cayse. AN he livs at number 221b! He confermd it! It IS baysed on Sheerlock Holmes! An he sed that this is wy, if yu look closely, thare is offen a Bear in Wilson's offiss. That's wun ov this Bear's cuzzins, parrently.
Arfter our tor we awl went off to find sum tea an cayke. This pub had a nice Celticky swirly thing goin on on this bit. I posed next to it in onnor ov my noze. See that dayte? I explaynd to Dilly that it ment the pub waz older than sum countrys. She sat an thort abowt that for a long, long time an I waz pleezd abowt that cos it ment I cud hav my tea in peece.

Bye fer now!,

A Mystery Solved

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
• Day Score: 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Yu know, there are meny mysterys in this life. Fer exampol, how big is space? Ar there Bears on other planets? Hoo built the pyramids? (I blame the Egyptians fer that larst wun.) An wun that has always bugged me: when we put down concrete, do worms carry on living underneath it? An if so, do they mind not being abol to come upstairs wen it rains?

Well my frends, I am pleased to be abol to bring to yu today, the solution to just as great a mystery as these, namely: why do Bishops wear pointy hats?

Aha! It was while considering the well documented adventures of wun Mr Paddington Bear (esq) of Peru that I realised the answer to this fiendish question. Yu see, diffrent peopol wear hats fer diffrent reasons. Protection, maybe, like the soldier or fireman or village idiot. Now, Paddington always wor a very big hat. This was becos he hid his snacks underneath it. Marmalade sandwiches wer his favrit, as yu may recall.

above right: Mr P. Bear (esq) of Peru

So now let us consider the Bishop's hat: pointy.

What snack do you know that is pointy? Aha yes! The TOBLERONE.

So there yu hav it. Bishops' hats are pointy because it's where they hide their Toblerones. And hoo can blame them. Those sessions in the big Cathedrals can go on for hours.

The practice of hiding them under their hats arose from two things: (1) sum peopol don't like to think of others eating choklit in Lent if they're not allowed eny themselves, and this tends to include old laydies that go to church on weekdays. I've seen them. And believe me, they're very frightening. And I'm a ferroshus bear! So imagine how scary they are if yor a man in a long dress. Brrr! And (2) Bishops tend to be rarther old. This means that a lot of them are forgetful. Bishops being Holy, they don't want to lead others into temptayshun. So they hide their own Toblerone under their hat so's not to tempt the old sleepy wun on the end hoo forgot his agen.

left: a gaggle of Bishops arguing over hoo has brort the choklit. (The one on the left looks a bit gillty.) Note their pointy hats.

above: the Toblerone: pointy choklit: coincidence????

And so there you hav it! Do let me know if there are eny mysterys bugging yu. I will put my nose to the case and see if I can solve it for yu.

Bye fer now!