Mr Scooter's gon gunky.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: We got a 0-0 not-a-loos wiv Yeovil (full nayme: Mangle-wurzling Yokull Scum)
• Simpsons: harf an episode. Mummy issent a good button-pusher.
• Tesco: yes, went wiv Mummy an Granny to get dinner. Tryd to steer the trolley down the Easter Egg ile agen, hopet to get anuther ov thoze littol Malteezer Bunnys. They're fab. But Mummy's willpower was stronger than yewzul. She must be feelin fat agen.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 8 that darsterdly Alien jumpt owt ov the cubberd under the stairs at me. Yep, he sneekt along. /10
• Overall Score: 7.639/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

We ar goin to hav to stay at Granny's an extra nite becos ov Mr Scooter.

Mr Scooter got into a fite wiv Tiggy- an lost.
Heez got a bald patch behind his ear, an a cuppol ov holes thare. Mummy issent shor yet if it waz clors or teef that did the dammidge.

She washt it all up an put on sum creem that smelt like the Dentist's.

A few hours layter, she chekt it agen an washt it.
This time it had startid to swell so she just nudged it gently an WOW! Loads ov GUNK cayme owt.

She washt an washt it an still mor stuff cayme owt. It waz gusting an fassinaytin. I wantid to hav a go at skweezin it but she sed I wassent allowd. It did look kwite satisfying- it lookt awl gon, then yu skwoze it agen an mor cayme owt. It waz PINK! Haha see thare, Dilly? The gunk waz pink. Mummy sed it waz a mix ov blud an pus. It went on a bit. I got bored an went for a sandwich. Wen I cayme bak, Mr Scooter had gon to bed.

Mr Scooter, on the sofa, pre-battle.

Mummy will desyde tomorro wether Mr Scooter needs to go to the V-E-T.
Sumtimes cats need medsins calld anti-by-ottics for gunky pus stuff. But uther times, if it's cleen an duzzent heel too farst, it can be OK.
Mr Scooter ways neerly 17 pownds an Granny carnt carry him in his carry-box becos she is too small an has old bones. So we hav to stay just in cayse.

They ar both in bed now. -Granny upstairs an Mr Scooter downstairs in his cuddly car.
Mummy is very tyerd an Daddy is asleep in the armchare wiv his hed lolling abowt like a bladder on a stik. It waz a stressful Valentine's Day reelly.

Fassinaytin stuff tho. Arnt bodys clever, prodewsin all that stuff owt ov noware? Fassinaytin. I told Dilly that I cud understand her obseshun wiv bein a nerse, but she sed I was gustin an that the pus stuff wassent wun ov the best bits ov nersing! How can that be?

Wish I'd had a go. I reelly do.

Bye fer now!

It's a seege!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no, but we wun on Saterday- 3-0 to Grimsby (full nayme: Grim-an-dull-don't-go-thare). Hurray!
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.453/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I'm bak! Wa-heyy!

Sorry for the gap. Lots to do rownd heer. An Mummy's been doin sleep olympiks agen an hassent been arownd to press the big button on the pewter for me. I can do most ov the rest ov it meself, but I just havent got kwite enuff oof! to push that big wun in.

Sayme wiv the telly. If it's on standby I can press the button on the remote. In fakt, I'm an ace button presser, me, an can skip between cartoons wen the ads ar on wivowt missin eny ov it. THAT'S ace button pressin, that is. But if the telly is off compleetly I carnt kwite get the big button. (I can get very annoyd if they leev it switcht rite off wen The Simpsons ar dew. Do yu kno, I've mist The Simpsons sumtimes throo their blaytant lak ov forthort. Tsk!)

So enyway. I mannidged to catch her heddin for the kettol an steer her zombie-like self towards the pewter, repeetidly charntin "Presssssssss the button.... pressssssssssss the button...." an wa-hey! Heer I be.

***

The uther day Daddy brort home a wooden box. We wer all a bit bemewsd as we dident reelly kno wat it waz for. Then Dilly deesydid it waz a fort:

We desydid to play "Seege the Carsol!" an Dilly sed it waz OK, so long as she cud play the part ov the carsol dragon (oh kell soopreez). The WIndowsill Bear Family joind her up thare, as the Iffy Norman Lords, an the rest ov us skayled the cliff as the Hard-Dun-By-Ferroshus-Celts:

HA! They kept herlin Choklit Peanuts at us an mayking us fall off. But we wun in the end. We pikt up the Choklit Peanuts an ran away to Scotland (the kitchen) whare we ate them all. HA!

Then Mummy cayme in from the garden an arskt for the box. She took it owtside. We followd wiv the camra:

Ah! I see! It waz a Hedgehog Howse!

Mummy put it heer, in a snug littol shelterd playce rownd the bak ov the howse. She trimmd bak the budlyer bush an piled up sum brarnchis on top, to keep it warm an disgize it:

Now, wen we put owt his supper (ov corned beef, oats, seed, nuts an froot) we ar goin to moov it closer an closer to his hut. We hope he will desyde to sleep in thare this winter!

Bye fer now!