Onnistly I'm jus tryin to keep order rownd heer....

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, but roomer haz it weer goin layter. Wa-heyyy! I like goin layte at nite. Yu get mor room to ride the trolley.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 ha! Gotcha, Grayum! /10
• Day Score:6.29837 dew to anarkistic tendancies from gests /10
• Advent Calendar pikcher: Man wiv wings an long yellow hair wayvin his arms abowt

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well! Sumtimes I jus don't kno wat to do! Yu invite folk into yor howse, yu all get into a rooteen, an then they jus start taykin libertees!

I speek, ov corse, ov The Windosill Bear Familee. Heer they ar:

This famlee ov Bears cayme to stay wiv us a few yeers ago. I sor a notiss in the payper abowt them. They livd in a playse calld Kleenex an wantid to come an stay in a howse wiv windosills. There wer foto's ov them on a windosill, lookin owt.

On our frunt windosill: Windosill Bears like sittin on windosills an yu will offen see them praktissin their Syncronized Sittin there.

Well, I sayved up an sent them their bus fare an put my address on a coopon so they'd kno wat number bus to get. Wun day they ternd up an sed, "Hullo! Weer the Windosill Bears!" an I invited them in. They cayme wiv tisshoos for ishooin (wich they handid over to me, as Offishol Howse Tishoo-Ishooer) an a booklet wiv lots ov foto's in, inkloodin mor ov them sitting on windosills.

I showed them sum ov our windosills an expektid that they wud settol in ok, speshly as most ov ours ar mayde ov wood wich is far warmer on the bum-beads than tile.

Wooden windosills ar warmer on the bum-beeds.

But they wantid to stay down on the carpet an frolic. Soon they wer frolickin evryware! In the kitchen, in the pant dror, they eevn slid up an down the bannister. So in the end I sed look, yor Windosill Bears! an I eskortid them bak.

Daddy sed I waz bein a tad harsh. But that's their role! Yu carnt jus abandun yor role! Wat if I suddenly sed, "Oh, do yu kno, I don't think I'll be a spy enymor, I think I'll tayke up wallpapering insted!"???? Yu see? It wud leed to kayoss an anarky an an an too menny Bears in the pant dror, that's wat. Rools ar rools.

They eevn hav an indor windosill for colder days.

But as I'm a reesonabol Bear, I sed they cud come down off the windosill on Tchewsdays an Therzdays.

Well! They keep tryin it on! They come down layte an then say, "Oh, Bob, we dident come down till 10 yesterday, so is it allrite if we stay still 10 today?" An it's not on! The rool is midnite to midnite! If yor layte it shud be hard luk! But Mummy an Daddy nag me into bein leenyent.

WELL! NOW we see wat bein leenyent leeds to, don't we!

Look at this! HOW exaktly is the bak ov the sofa a windosill?

Like the old sayin, "Giv a Bear an inch ov hunny an heel tayke the whole jar". A few instantses ov bein let off braykin the rool an look wat yu get. Anarky!

I blayme the time they smuggold themselves down to Granny's howse an spent 2 weeks on a shelf. As I sed at the time to her, "A shelf is not a windosill, Granny, eevn if a windowill is a shelf!"

They've been abowt today cos it's a "T" day, but I think they're plottin sumthing. Evry time I go parst, they stop tolkin, an look up an grin at me.

I don't kno wat's goin to happen at midnite, I reelly don't........

Bye fer now....