A Simpsons Bear!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
  
• -BUT WE AR PLAYIN TODAY SO PLEEZ WARE YOR LUKKY BLOO PANTS!!!!
  
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10
• Overall Score: 7.6756272/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

I luv watchin The Simpsons. I speshly like Lisa. I may hav menshund this befor, hehehe.
The uther day it waz brillyent as thare waz a BEAR on it, too!!

Do yu watch The Simpsons? Do yu hav a fayvrit carickter?


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Weer off to Granny's layter today, for anuther week.

Mummy sez that Granny will soon be abol to moov into her new howse up heer, so we won't be tooin an fro'in eny mor. Me an Daddy will still go down to Kent wunce a fortnite (is it troo that Merrykans don't hav fortnites??) becos we go to see Gillingham play. Maybe I will tayke Granny along for a gayme. She sed sheez never been. That serprized me. I'm shor I've seen uther Grannys thare... or maybe thay wer maskots.... or eevn our reserv teem....

Bye fer now!

Gettin Blaymd. Agen.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: um...fergot /10
• Day Score: 7/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Sumtimes yu think it's gonna be a good day an then it chaynges. It's like sumwun is drivin yor day in a bus an then they desyde to tern a corner so that yu go parst the soo-er-ridge werks insted of the mownten vews yu wer expektin. Today waz like that. A bit.

Mummy went into town an bort sum new Laydy-Bump pants. Theez arnt like ordenry pants that a boy wud ware. Come to think ov it, no gerl pants ar like wat boys wud ware. Exsept fer Peter Stringfellow. But I think he's up to sumthing. Enyway. As I waz sayin, Laydy-Bump pants. Theez ar wat gerls ware under their jumpers to keep things in playse wen they're runnin fer the bus.

Dilly got a tad confewsd wen she red the labol on the new wuns, cos they wer French, an in French they ar called Bonnets. So Dilly, bein ov a type that is kwite parshal to the odd bonnet, put them on her hed, screamed, cos she duzzent like the dark, then tryd attakin them.

Bein ov a type that is kwite parshal to the odd bonnet. Unfortewnitly fer Dilly, sed new bonnets wer very odd, an much larger than this wun.

At this poynt Mummy cayme bak from the barthroom an accewsd me of havin frolikt them, as they wer now on the flor, an Dilly waz noware to be seen (exsept by yors trooly: she waz on top ov the dor) so muggins heer got the blayme.

I'm not eevn into Laydy-Bump pants. Yu carnt mayke a deesent hammok out ov them. They're the rong shaype. Just as yu think yu've got a good baysis fer a stretch out, they go in an owt agen. It jus duzzent werk.

Well, maybe if yor Mummy iz Dolly Parton, yu mite be abol to mayke it werk. But my Mummy issent, an no matter how much she thinks she needs to go on a diet, there jus issent enuff for a small Bear ov my kaliber to be intrestid on a construkshun baysis.

An yu carnt get a good frolick owt ov them cos yu end up in a not. An yu jus KNO that the hooks will hook on the bits ov yu that hooks hav no bizzness knowin abowt. So there. It wassent me.

Well I gayve up tryin to convinse her an went off an watcht The Simpsons.

It waz wun ov my favrit eppysodes: the wun ware Santa's Littol Helper gets puppies:

Hmmm.... I notiss that Lisa duzzent ware Laydy-Bump pants. A Bear wud be sayfe, huggin up to her. Ahhh......

Bye fer now!

Quiz Answers

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, slowly: Mum stubbed her heel. I mean, how do you stub your heel? A toe, yes. Even maybe an elbow. But a heel? She was doing this weird funky-gibbon walk all day. It was embarrassing.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10 Grayum caught me back as I was coming in from the loo
• Day Score: 7.85486/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Horray! I have a new subscriber, Carol from Shrink-Wrapped-Scream. Her last name used to be Beattie so she wonders if we might be related. Could well be, Carol. How furry are yor toes?

Enywun can subscribe by filling in the form on the left of this page, by the way. Yu get all my new posts, plus any with new comments. And don't worry, the emails include my picture so yu won't miss out.

SO! How did yu all do in my Quiz? Margaret, wat a wonderful woman yu are; Matt, stay behind arfter class. Here are the arnswers:

(1) see if he has KNEES

(2) see if he has one ear forward and one ear back

(3) Federation of International Furry Agents (it's ok that none of yu seem to hav got this- it's to do wiv spying, arfter all)

(4) Dilly. If yu got her full nayme, Dilly St George, help yorself to a choklit peanut

(5) Gillingham

(6) Absolutely

(7) NOT

(8) evil, inherently so

(9) a big toothless fat cat that lives at Granny's

(10) Lisa, of course. Have 1/10th of a mark if yu put Santa's Littol Helper

For mor on these fassinayting topics, and Dilly, follow the tags at the foot of this post! Bye fer now!

Carselling

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
• Day Score: 8.1286/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

We went to tayke foto's of Colchester Carsol. I rode in Mum's rucksack. I'm a very observant Bear, and as yu hav seen laytely, kwite an artist, so I knew she wud need my help in getting sum good shots. Heer's der carsol:
I wantid to pose in sum of them but there were lots ov skool kids moving about in herds, so I kept under cover. Dident seem to bother this cat though, and Mum took about 3,000 pikchers ov it:

I was kwite pleased to get back home to the Window-Sill-Bear-Familee an watch the Simpsons, which was all about Lisa.... (ahhhh......). Not keen on carselling. A bit too dragonny, really.

This weekend we're off to Granny's cos Sunday is Mother's Day, so we've got presents for her. See yu all Monday!

To er is better than to or.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, so daddy had no proper milk for his Weetabix this morning so had to use mum's bottol of skimmed watery stuff, and then she watered down a carton of cream to make mor watery stuff for her tea. Yu see the lengths yu hav to go to wen yu don't take a bear to his favrit shop? Serves 'em right.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I was doing a Deep Think, which is sumthing that we Bears are rarther good at, about wot peepol call themselves. I mean about their jobs. Like, yu know wot a builder does cos it's in his job title- he builds. And a gardener gardens, an a teacher teaches, an a seller sells. Kwite a simpol system, really, but it works. But then sumwun must hav come along at some stage an sed, "Nah, this is too easy!" an startid changing it. Soldiers don't sold. That's silly. And neither do doctors doct. And even though I do a brillyant diary, I am most definitely NOT a diaryer. (Except for wen I eat too meny choklit peanuts.)

I mean, wot about an author? Wot's wrong wiv being a writer? That's easy fer anywun to understand. I don't know wot authing is. Dilly sez there are birds called auks. Do they write? If so, how do they hold the pen with webbed feet?

Me an Dilly write, in fact, we mark out our favrit programs in the TV guide each week. Mostly it's Bear and Dragon programmes, but Dilly is partial to CSI. And the Simpsons, obviously. In fact yu cud say we are loyal viewers.

The Artic Puffin: a friendly auk, but can he auth?

Bye fer now!

My Scoring System Explayned

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: yes but der other team cheated cos we lost
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: yes, three times
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: too bizzy/10
• Day Score: 7/10
  
  

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Beth Not-A-Bear has written to arsk abowt the scorring system that appears at the top ov my posts. OK then! I'll go throo them wun by wun, yewsin yesterday's scores as an exampol....

• GILLS stands fer Gillingham football club wich me an my daddy support. Sumtimes I think he is a bit of a saydist bringing me up to support them, given our performance over the larst cuppol ov years. But mostly I enjoy going to footbol or lissnin to it in the car wiv daddy. If I write 'yes' next to GILLS it means they played. Yesterday we were beating CREWE (full naym Crewe-Scum-Town-Poo) by 3 goals to 1 but then, cos we're really nice, we let them hav a go an we lost 4-3. Hey ho. Wen we looz I hav a consolayshun choklit peanut fer each goal we let in. If we win I hav a sellybraytory banarnana. If we draw I hav wun ov each. Yesterday was a big day fer choklit peanuts.
  
• SIMPSONS records whether I got to see my favrit program on telly. Der Lisa eppysodes ar the best. Sheez luvley. I also like the dog, Santa's-Littol-Helper. I've got Simpsons Monopoly an also Simpsons Top Trumps, wich I offen play wiv the other bears.
  
• TESCO records whether we went to Tesco coz I like to ride in the trolly. I suspekt Mummy sneaks off to other shops too but she has a Tesco loyolty card and so she shud be loyol to Tesco, shorly? I've got wun too. Bears do loyol. I don't think humans no wat loyal means. Sum days she eevn goes to Saynsburrys. It's embarrassing.


• NOSE HUG SUPRIZISITY SCORE hehehehe we bears are good at hugs and small bears are espeshally good at nose-hugs. Not-A-Bears offen appreshyate deez in the winter cos their noses get cold. But they don't expect to get them the rest of the year! This is how the nose hug game was founded. Yu sneak up on someone, then jump out an hug their nose. Then they hav to giv yu a scor out of 10 fer suprizisity. Yu hav to hav really mayd them jump to get a 10! At the end ov the day I averrage out my scor and record it heer.
  
• DAY SCORE is my overall scor fer the day, tayking into account all the abuv scores, plus other things like... woz there thunder? (don't like it), did I get to see menny pants? wot wer the other bears are up to? etc.

I hope that this arnsers yor kwestchun, Beth Not-A-Bear. As fer yor other enquiry, regarding my interest in pants, hehehe.....that disserves a whole post ov its own.

Bye fer now!