Tishoo ishooing dewty, an hogs at the dor!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, an Mummy went to Sainsbury's. Pah.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 8 /10
• Overall Score: 7.265/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

Sorry for my absence. I hav been on allmost 24 hour tishoo-ishooing dewty.

Daddy brings home all the bugs from the kids at skool an this is A LOT. It has been suggestid to me that kids ar just germ factrys in straynge cullerd trainers. Anyway. He brort wun home a few weeks ago an Dilly tryd to help by maykin him drink tea mayde from flowers (jazzmin??). Her uver helpful effort seemd to consist ov just donnin her nersey hat. I think she thinks that "the hat becometh the nerse" or sumthing.

Yeah, I'm not shor the scary swamp-monster type crocodragon mug helps pertikewlarly, iver, Dilly.

Wen she wassent abowt, I got Daddy sum PROPER tea, yu kno, the brown stuff wiv caffeen in it that yu can dunk yer choklit biskits in. Wunce he had this he started to get better. But then Mummy got the bug.

Now, I offen reed that wen Daddys get colds they get them werse then enywun, but I tell yu IT JUS AINT TROO! Wen Mummy gets the cold it haz the addid effect ov attakin not just her breathin apperatus, but also her tummy an that meens, yes yu kno wat I'm goin to say folks, POO!!!

An lots ov it!!! HAHA! An in all sorts ov cullers, too. Por Mummy. Her throate was sor but her bottom waz sorer.

She is neerly all better now. SO I hope I will hav time to get bak to bloggin proply, an visitin yu all.

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It's gettin dark erly heer, an we ar havin to put owt food for the hedgehogs erlier an erlier eech nite becos they start to arrive for theyer dinner at dusk. They ar coming rownd the frunt ov our howse now as well as the bak, so we put owt a playte for them at eech doorstep. Sum nites they ar both playses at wunce an we sit indors in the middol like bein in a hog sandwich.

They will start to hibernayte nex munth so we hav to try to fatten them up an help them gro big. Heer is a littol wun Mummy reskewd larst winter. It had been too small to hibernayte so we took it in an gayve it to a reskew sentor to carfter throo the winter in a heeted pen:Hedgehogs ar cewt but they ar wun ov thoze animals that get smellier the longer yu hold them. Rabbits ar like this too, an hamsters, an ginnypigs.

Now I'm goin to go an hav sum tea an a choklit Hobnob. I mite drop sum aksidently on perposs, cos we hav a mowse livin in the howse agen, an I kno he likes them.

Bye fer now!!

Mor Pants in the News! Wa-hey!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
• Simpsons:yes
• Tesco: no
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 6 (I let Sam get me) /10
• Overall Score: 7.63210

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

Jackie sent me this link. Hav a look! Hehe! It's abowt a spaceman hoo wor the sayme pants for a munth!! HAHAHA! An I'm not eevn shor he did the inside-owt an bak-to-frunt chaynge-abowt iver. Well, thro my arms up at him! Hehe! Yu wuddent want to put THOZE wuns on yor hed, wud yu?

Weer off to Granny's in harf an hour or so. Weer goin to watch Gillingham play a gayme at Thurrock ferst, wich is on the way. Then weel be at Granny's this eevnin an weer taykin sum sossidges for dinner. We won't be bak till Munday.

Meenwile Mummy is owt in the garden, hiding hedgehog food under leeves an bits ov cardbord an stuff; she is feelin gilty that she won't be heer to feed them tonite or tomorro nite.
Next dor thinks she is very odd. -He spends his time cleenin an preenin his garden to within an inch ov its life, an thare's Mummy delibrutly puttin litter abowt hers. Haha! Well I kno hoo I prefer. I think heez borin. (All his pants ar grey. I sor them on the washin line.)

Bye fer now!

Skat!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no, but weer off errly tomorro to que up for our Wembley tikkets for next week's gayme. Mummy sed she mite not que up, she mite go shoppin insted. Tippykol gerl. Arfter that weer goin to Granny's an won't be bak till SUnday nite.
  
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, an she went to the Co-Op. Wich duzzent eevn hav trolleys.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10! Huzzah! /10
• Day Score: 7.63987/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Look!
Hedgehog poo!

HEHEHEHEHE!

I gess this is his way ov sayin thankew for the munchy food we bort him!

That's all, reelly. Jus thort I'd pop in an share that wiv yu.

Wa-hey!!!

*** *** *** *** *** ***

Don't ferget to send me pic's ov yor fayvrit pants for my berfday "I'm A Sellebritty Get Me Sum Pants To Wear!" gallery. (See Wendzday's post for mor detayles!)

Updaytes an important news :@}

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: too bizzy- me an the uther Bears mayde a bus owt ov cushons an boxes an playd buses. Dilly wantid to joyne in so we sed yes, she cud wayte at the bus-stop. Kept her happy enuff. Our bus dident go that route tho.
  
• Day Score: 7 ish /10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Lots ov yu wer a bit worreed abowt our littol hedgermahogin, so heer ar sum fotoes that I jus took abowt 10 minits ago, showin him tukkin in ok on his own-We took Di's advice an bort sum ov this stuff!!! He seems to reelly like it, tho we still put sum choppt up corned beef on top ov it-This is me watchin him. Yu can jus see him on the rite down the bottom, owtside the glarss. That's the bak ov my hed on the left, that is.
*** *** *** *** ***

I hav sum exsytin news abowt my footie teem, Gillingham- we ar in the play-offs an a week this Saterday we will be playin at Wembley Staydium in London!!! Me an Daddy ar goin to go an Mummy sez she mite go cos she wants to see the new staydium (hmmm not shor that's kwite the rite arnser Mummy but hey ho... leest sheel be thare so she can carry all our stuff.)

So PLEEEEZ ware yor very lukkiest bloo pants on Saterday 23rd May!!!!
If yu can ware them on yor hed, eevn better.
- Cheeky Bear!!!

*** *** *** *** ***

Now sum mor news- it is egsaktly 12 days to my berfday! WA-HEYY!!
For my berfday I think I will do a speshol gallery. If yu wud like to joyne in, email me a foto ov yu wiv yor lukkiest underpants. They can be on or off. Yu cud put them on yor hed if yu like. Or put lots in a pile. If yu carnt do a foto, dror a pikcher, that will be nice. Watever. I want yor pants for my berfday pant gallery! WA-HEYY!!!!!!!!

Hehehehe! This cud be my most pantayshuss berfday ever!

*** *** *** *** ***

Mummy is still not kwite wiv it, an in need ov lots ov hed-hugs, wich lukkily we Bears ar egsellent at doin. Speshly Grayum. Wen Grayum's arthritis got stuk in, he seezd up in a perfekt hug-hug-givin pozishun. SO he can do hed hugs wivowt eevn thinkin abowt it, reelly. Good ol' Gray.

Rite I'm off. Hope I can get bak to bloggin mor soon. An vizitin yor playses. Thanks for all the messidges!

Bye fer now!

Hogwatchin

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, an Mummy got food from M & S wen she waz in town. M & S is ok for pants, in fakt, thare pants ar pritty good frolickin mateerial. But thare's no exkewse for gettin food thare. Not wen yu hav a loyalty card for Tesco. Sum peepol don't kno wat loyalty is. I do. I'm a Bear. Hewmans ar fikkol.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
• Day Score: 7 an a bit./10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Do yu remember, in the ortum, we put a hedgehog hybernayshun box in the garden? Well, our hedgehog, or hedgermahogin, as Mummy calls them (porze for sye) haz emerged from his hideaway.

But he issent very brayve, as hedgehogs go. Heer ar sum fotoes I cort ov him the uther nite.

He had just come owt ob his howse, an waz just abowt to tuk in to the supper Mummy had put owt for him, wen anuther, bigger, hog appeerd! I don't kno whare he cayme from cos I wassent lookin that way. He must hav rayced across the lawn top speed!!!Well our littol wun just froze an tryd to tuk his snowt in to mayke himself smaller. He jus let the bigger hog eet all his stuff!!!Heer he is panickin an sayin, ooo, ooo, ar yu goin to leev me ENY????Por wee thing moovd a wee bit now an then just to sniff the dissappeerin food, but he let the big hog eet it all..
Then he must hav thort, "Oh no! He stole my supper! Wat if he wants my howse too?" an so he ran bak into his howse. The uther wun followd but ours mayde grunty noizes the big wun went away agen.

This is how scaredy our hog was- look at this foto an yu can see a damp spot whare ours sat an watched the big hog eet his food! It issent wee, it's sweat, from whare he was affeard!!
Mummy put owt mor food for him an vencherly, arfter an hour or so, he poppt owt agen an ate it. But now this seems ot be all he duz- he comes owt at nite, eets, then goze bak in his howse. This issent wat hogs shud be doin! He shud be owt an abowt, forragin an explorin an bein a hog.

Mummy thinks he is wun ov larst yeer's baybys an he duzzent reelly kno wat to do yet. In fakt, she rekkons, he duzzent eevn kno heez a hog. This is wy he waz scared ov that straynge big spikey monster that nite.

I've been talkin to him wen he comes owt an tellin him, I'm a Bear, an Bears ar brayve. If yu just imagin yor a Bear, that will help yu be brayve. (Helps for Mummy wen she goze to the dentist.)

Daddy jus sez, "Trust us to get the darft wun!"

Not shor wat he meens by that.

Bye fer now!

The gerls ar pritty kwyert rownd heer.

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: YES!!! We wun, 4 - 0 agenst Rotherham (full nayme: Rottin Scum Utd.) Thank yu evrywun hoo wor lukky bloo pants!!!!
  
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: no- Daddy went wivowt me. Huh!
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Overall Score: 8ish/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Wa-heyyy!!!!!!!!! Well, as yu can see from the abuv, we wun at football on Saterday! Hurrayy!!! An it waz a BIG wun, too! 4 goals! That ment, 4 sellybraytory candy banarnanas wen we got home. (It yewst to be just wun for a win, but we carnt get the big narnas eny mor, jus littol wuns. So now I hav wun per goal if we win. Wa-hey!)

Arnty Jo an littol Hazel cayme up on Saterday, an, we don't kno wy, perhaps she waz tyerd, but Hazel dident say hardly a werd all day. Not eevn wen they ate all the choklit biskits. Or opend presents. Or went shoppin. Or had lunch owt. Mummy waz a bit worreed.

I bort Hazel a littol book wiv Bear Storys in it for her berfday, an she seemd to like it. But she left my speshol rappin-payper behind, wich waz a big poster wiv Bears on. I waz dispoyntid that she left it, but never mind. I can rap her Crismoss present up in it now. JHEE JHEE JHEE! CHEEKY BEAR!

Well not much else to report so far this week so I'm off. Oh! Mummy haz put a video ov that hedgehog on her blog if yu want to see it. An Dilly's not well. She haz a cold. Good greef! A dragon wiv a cold? Can yu imagin? I'm worreed. I meen, I kno she keeps sayin that she haz a SMALL noze on a long SNOWT, but just how far bak do thoze nostrils go? How long will the trayles ov snot be? An I'm tishoo ishooer? Oh boy. Wish me luk!

Bye fer now!

Hogs, Knees an a boomzyay!!!!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no- but weer playin tomorro so pleez remember to ware yor luky bloo underpants!!!!!
  
• Simpsons: yes,an Family Guy, too, wich waz reelly rood! HAHAHAHA!
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9 d'oh!/10
• Day Score: 7.49628/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Ferst, I MUST tell yu abowt a grayte new blog calld "Dear Teddy". It is run by three Bears an they ar collektin storys abowt peepol's old toys. If yu hav an old toy, say, from childhood, get a foto ov it, rite a littol story abowt it an send it over to them an they will feecher it on thare blog. Heer is their link.

Important note on toys:

If yor not shor wether yor Bear is reel or not, let me remind yu agen that it is in the knee department that yu can be shor. If it's got knees, it's reel. If not, it is a Teddy-traynor-bear. Theez are toys that LOOK like reel Bears but ar given to littol children to trayne them in the art of carfterin a Bear an bein a sponsibol Bear adopter. They go throo alot- like bein wayved arownd by their legs an bein chewd an dribbold on. Wen the child is a bit older THEN they can be considerd for a trooly REEL Bear, yu see, wen they've got over the chewy dribbly stayge.

*** *** *** *** ***

The moon waz full agen the uther nite an we had a full five bear Bear bum saloot as we got on down an moond it:
Wa-heyy!!

*** *** *** *** ***

Larst nite Mummy waz up all nite hog sittin, as we took in a very very VERY small hedgehog hoo waz far too littol for this time ov yeer. He wud never servive hybernayshun that littol. So, we took him in fer the nite an a nice RSPCA laydy collektid him this mornin to tayke him to a sakchewary.

In his nite box we gayve him wun ov Mummy's softest old jumpers, a hot-warter-bottol, sum food an sum warter. Oh! Also a newspayper (I thort he waz a bit too yung to reed that but I dident like to say enything). Well! Dispite this box ov joy he got a bit restless an startid tryin to scrabbol owt ov his box. Mummy waz distrest abowt this so Daddy rang up sum -oviossly nice but pertenshally kwite MAD- peepol at The British Hedgehog Sossyetty for advice, an they sed that littol hogs kwite like a littol cuddol in a towel.

WELL! WELL! That waz the larst ov gettin eny sense owt ov Mummy for the rest ov the eevnin! She went totally silly, werse than wen she is feedin skwirrols or strokin kittens!!!

Mmmnyum nyum nyum comin owt for a bit ov corned beef...

*** *** *** *** ***

HE waz kwite a kewt fella reelly, but he had a few flees so I dident get too close. Mummy haz hooverd the sofa to within an inch ov its stitchery today an showerd till she waz almost albino. But, she sez, it waz werth it to hold the littol fella for so long. It shor waz nice to see a hog close up like that. Ahhh..... hehehe!

*** *** *** *** ***

Well I'm off! I hav important Bear stuff to hide. Jo, Mummy's old frend from skool, an her littol gerl Hazel ar comin up tomorro. They ar goin to exchaynge berfday presents as Hazel had a berfday neer to Mummy's. Then they eetin cayke, watchin videos an doin crarft stuff. Me an Daddy ar goin to football. Gerly days ar best avoydid!!!! (But I hope they sayve sum cayke!)

Yippee! CAYKE!!!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: yes, we playd Bury (full nayme: Bury, like a cat burys its poo) an wun 1-0. Wa-heyy!
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10! Got Daddy, but wish I haddent as he waz in need ov a tishoo at the time. I kno I'm tishoo-ishooer rownd heer, but I'm not sykick so how waz I ment to kno? Never mind. I wipet me paws on his new scarf. Servs im rite for gettin wun wiv green stripes in it./10
• Overall Score:8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well! I can NOW reveel wat we had pland for Mummy's berfday! We ar taykin her to see The Lion King on stage in London tomorro nite! Hurrayyy!!!! Dilly is comin, too, as she is hopin thare will be a crocodile in the plot sumwhare.

Speekin ov plot, Mummy is SLITELY worreed that it is goin to be sad. So I put her mind at rest, an told her my vershun ov the plot ov evry anmol tale mayde by Disney/Pixar/eny uther guy wiv a felt tip pen:

1. New bayby anmol is proclaymed prince ov the forest/kingdom/jungle/zoo/sea.
2. Parents ar very prowd, tell the uther anmols, evrywun sings a song an duzz a darnse. Darnse must involv climin trees or roks, an fat anmol must fall off for comik effekt.
3. Mummy/Daddy or both ar killed by hunters or fire/storm/flood/gettin lost/loozin wresling match wiv much bigger anmol/swallowd by larger fish.
4. Littol Prince is sad an wanders off.
5. Smaller, kewter or uglier anmol finds him an sez hey, yu hav to carry on an be King now. (Kew song abowt goin on an bein king now.)
6. Prince goze home an fites an imposter king hoo sneekt in wile he waz owt.
7. Prince is now King and evrywun sings a song an darnses. Elton John is sumtimes in this bit, or a scarey blak woman singer wiv reelly hi notes.
8. Fade owt wiv new king lookin into sunset an thinkin ov Mummy an Daddy as smaller, kewter or uglier anmol sneeks up an smiles at him.
9. The end.
10. Go for a curry.

Wunce she realized the inevitabol she relaxt abowt it bein an upsettin story an got bak to lookin forward to it. Akchewly, she sez she haz lookt forwerd to it for yeers, ever since she sor a program on TV abowt how the aktors do all the diffrent anmols. HAHAHAHA! Silly Mummy! She thinks thare ar peepol in it! HAHAHA! Oh, that's good.

ENYWAY. We went to Granny's for the weekend and she had this cayke for Mummy!
(She cuddent fit 41 candols on it so Mummy had 4......)Now, Daddy had told Mummy abowt the Lion King seekrit at wun sekund arfter midnite, so I THORT I waz owt ov daynger ov tikkol torcher an let my gard down. Let that be a lesson to eny apprentiss spys owt thare- Do not, yung spywonerbee, ever, EVER, let yor gard be down-let. THIS video shows wy:

(If yu carnt see it thare, try heer)

-HAHAHA! I got her! I got her! I got my own bak! That'll teech her! HA!

That's it fer now. Oh! I neerly fergot! We had a close incownter wiv a small hedgehog on Saterday, hoo got smellyer an smellyer the longer he waz arownd. Kwite handy reelly, as my gastrik beads wer in need ov a littol relleef, an he becayme a good decoy.Yu can reed the whole Hedgermahogin Sarga on Mummy's blog, if yu like!

Rite. I'm off to try to get my hat off Grayum. Heez warin it bak to frunt, tryin to be a cool dood. I'm shor that Bear's in his sekund cub-hood.

Hurrayyyyy!!!!!!!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: yessserrreeee! We wun!
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10!!!!/10
• Day Score: 8.32961/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Hurrayyyyyyyy! Rememberin to arsk yu all to ware yer bloo pants on match days werkt- we wun!!!!!!! We playd Port Vale (full nayme: "Not even the nayme ov a reel playce so we mayde wun up that neerly rimes wiv Orfull Smell") an we wun 1 goal to nil. We dident eevn hav to werk hard cos they kikt wun into their own goal. That's how dum they wer. But HURRAYY! We had sellybraytory banarrnanas all rownd!

:@D :@D :@D :@D :@D

Mummy's bak is gradewly gettin better. She has been gettin mor an mor uprite eech day. In fakt, watchin her this parst week haz been like watchin that poster of The Evolooshun Ov Man playin owt befor my eyes- exsept that she dident at eny poynt look like a Manchester Utd player.

:@D :@D :@D :@D :@D

HOGWATCH:

Good news re the hedgehogs! Remember that speshol howse we bort them? Well, wun has DEFNITLY moovd in!!!! Heer's wun, eetin sum corned beef-

Soo.... how do we kno for shor that wun of them haz moovd into the Hog Howse??? Eeezy! HEDGEHOG POO JUST INSIDE ITS DOR!!!!! Haaaaaaaaaa hahahahaaaa! Thro my arms up at him! Heez fownd it an heez claymed it!

:@D :@D :@D :@D :@D

I'm lookin for anuther candydate for my "If They Weren't Human" seereez at the moment, so watch this spayce. I THORT I had wun- John McCain. But I cuddent find a photo ov a badly stuffed camel to go wiv him. Hey ho. I'll hav to think ov sumwun else!

Bye fer now!

It's a seege!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no, but we wun on Saterday- 3-0 to Grimsby (full nayme: Grim-an-dull-don't-go-thare). Hurray!
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.453/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I'm bak! Wa-heyy!

Sorry for the gap. Lots to do rownd heer. An Mummy's been doin sleep olympiks agen an hassent been arownd to press the big button on the pewter for me. I can do most ov the rest ov it meself, but I just havent got kwite enuff oof! to push that big wun in.

Sayme wiv the telly. If it's on standby I can press the button on the remote. In fakt, I'm an ace button presser, me, an can skip between cartoons wen the ads ar on wivowt missin eny ov it. THAT'S ace button pressin, that is. But if the telly is off compleetly I carnt kwite get the big button. (I can get very annoyd if they leev it switcht rite off wen The Simpsons ar dew. Do yu kno, I've mist The Simpsons sumtimes throo their blaytant lak ov forthort. Tsk!)

So enyway. I mannidged to catch her heddin for the kettol an steer her zombie-like self towards the pewter, repeetidly charntin "Presssssssss the button.... pressssssssssss the button...." an wa-hey! Heer I be.

***

The uther day Daddy brort home a wooden box. We wer all a bit bemewsd as we dident reelly kno wat it waz for. Then Dilly deesydid it waz a fort:

We desydid to play "Seege the Carsol!" an Dilly sed it waz OK, so long as she cud play the part ov the carsol dragon (oh kell soopreez). The WIndowsill Bear Family joind her up thare, as the Iffy Norman Lords, an the rest ov us skayled the cliff as the Hard-Dun-By-Ferroshus-Celts:

HA! They kept herlin Choklit Peanuts at us an mayking us fall off. But we wun in the end. We pikt up the Choklit Peanuts an ran away to Scotland (the kitchen) whare we ate them all. HA!

Then Mummy cayme in from the garden an arskt for the box. She took it owtside. We followd wiv the camra:

Ah! I see! It waz a Hedgehog Howse!

Mummy put it heer, in a snug littol shelterd playce rownd the bak ov the howse. She trimmd bak the budlyer bush an piled up sum brarnchis on top, to keep it warm an disgize it:

Now, wen we put owt his supper (ov corned beef, oats, seed, nuts an froot) we ar goin to moov it closer an closer to his hut. We hope he will desyde to sleep in thare this winter!

Bye fer now!