The Heads-Together Pozishun

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes- Marge had plastik sergerry an got her boobies mayde extra large. I bet she had a happy Bear.
• Tesco: HUH! Mummy went, an wuddent let me come jus cos I wantid to bring a pile ov pants wiv me. Then Daddy an me went to pik her up in the car, AND HE LEFT ME IN THE CAR IN THE CAR PARK. An then they expektid me to talk to them. Huh!
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10
• Day Score: not much /10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Remember Mummy an Daddy both had colds a few weeks ago? Well since then sumthing very curriuss haz happend...... Mummy haz gon off choklit. Let me put that anuther way, wun that mor suits the gravity ov the sitchewayshun. An I don't meen gravity az in appols fallin off trees. I meen gravity az in the north and south poles switchin pozishuns or the molten hot spluttery cor ov the planet suddenly ternin into ice creem, not jus vannilla ice creem either, but Rocky Road Deluxe flavur wiv extra nuts:

Ahhh well. Wayste not wont not! Heheheheh! Me an the uther Bears disydid to remoov the stuff from her surroundins. Weer very helpfull, us Bears. Wuddent want her to suddenly try a bit an not like it (wat a wayste). So we scofft the lot.

Unfortewnitly it waz a bit bigger than our tummys, wich went into a weird gurgly state an we had to adopt the Heads-Together Pozishun:

This is the pozishun Bears adopt (yewzly arfter large picnics) wen there is tummy-gurglin an daynger ov farts. In this pozishun yu can carry on wiv conversayshuns an jokes an stuff but not smell it wen a Bear haz to let go.

(It's still possibol yu mite smell yor own. But that's ok. Farts ar like kids in that regard. Evrywun knoze they're horribol but yu seekritly kwite like yor own.)

HEHEHEHEHEE!

Bye fer now!

Wat Do Yu Call This?

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: trainin (I hope)
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no- SERIOUSLY low on cow juice now
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.296/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

YesBut was talkin the other day about the meenings of werds, an it got me thinkin about the things that ther SHUD be a werd for, but aren't.

Like, I want a werd for that moment in between fartin in company and knowin fer serten whether or not yu got away wiv it.

Yu know, the time it taykes to reech nose level.

Will it wander up? Or waz it a scentless one?

Will the conversayshun continue? Or will they start pulling faces?

Shud yu warn them in advarnse, risking un-nessasery disgust if it terns out it waz a scentless one that you wud hav got away wiv if yu haddent menshonned it???

At a sertan poynt in time, possibly arownd 75 seconds, yu will be abol to relax (not too much, jus in cayse it happens agen) becos if they havent detectid it by then, yu'll hav got away wiv it.

But it's that littol bit of time of not knowing... I need a nayme for this peeriod of time. Hehehehe.....

Well, YesBut sergestid "preordouraction". Hmm. That's a goodun, but I'm not shor of the "action" bit at the end. Cos it's a LAK of akshun, reelly.

In The Book Of Liff, they yewse playce-naymes fer un-naymed things like this. Well, neer us, ther is a playce called The Maltings. I think that this pre-confirmayshun-of-pong-or-gettin-away-wiv-it shud be called "The Maltings".

I don't know wy, I jus think it wud be gud.

I think I feel a Malting comin on now, akchewally.......

Bye fer now!